To the Moon and Back
by I Wield The Pen
Summary: A collection of humorous, romantic, and thrilling one-shots/ continued stories all in one place! Latest Chapter: Hilarity ensues as the crew blows up their group chat after a night of heavy drinking. Items were stolen, quickie weddings occurred, and Jacin is forced to drive around Luna and pick up all these lightweights.
1. Thorne can see!

**A/N: Hi, guys! This is my first ever Lunar Chronicles fanfic. I'm open to any and all suggestions for this line of fanfics, though I'll probably have an odd updating schedule and I won't use every idea. I tend to enjoy the storylines that don't take place in AU's, though I may write a few.**

 **This particular fic is based on the idea of Thorne getting his sight back… and having a little fun with it ;) It's more humorous than fluffy, but still has a sweet moment.**

 **I don't own the Lunar Chronicles**

Don't get him wrong; Carswell Thorne couldn't have been more ecstatic when he woke up that morning with his vision fully intact. He spent a solid 12 minutes running around his quarters in the Rampion proclaiming the colors of different random objects.

"LOOK AT THAT FANTASTIC GREEN CHAIR OF MINE! AND OH, I CAN SEE THE SPLENID BLACK- BLACKINESS OF SPACE THROUGH THE WINDOW!"

Yeah. You get the picture.

He was more than happy, especially considering the fact that his sight came a full 2 days ahead of schedule. As far as his friends knew, he was just now starting to tell the difference between light and dark. After praising every individual object in his range of vision, he decided that it wouldn't hurt if he left them hanging just a _teeny_ bit longer.

~o0o~

"OHHHH SCAAARLEEET!"

Thorne suppressed a chuckle when said redhead rolled her eyes, unaware that he could see her every move. To throw her off he averted his gaze slightly to the left.

"Thorne, I'm making breakfast. Go bug someone else."

"Aww, but Scarlett," he whined, clumsily scooting closer to her with the aid of his cane, "I wanna help!"

She cocked an eyebrow at him. "Seriously? Even though you're... well..."

"Blind? Nah, I'm not letting that hold me back! Believe me; I've got everything under control!" He flashed her his signature grin before scooting closer to her, setting his cane aside in the process. "So watcha making?"

"...Eggs."

"Then why did you grab tomatoes?"

Scarlett reddened slightly before ducking her head and mumbling something about Wolf and his tomato obsession. "Wait a minute," she commented, glancing suspiciously at Thorne. "How did you know I had the tomatoes out?"

"I... er... smelled them." Yeah, it wasn't his best lie ever.

"You _smelled_ the tomatoes?"

"Yeah. They smell like a fresh spring rain." Fresh spring rain. Seriously? What was he, a 12 year old attempting to write poetry?

For a long, terrifying moment, Thorne thought that his plan had failed. Scarlett had figured him out and his prank would be over before it even started. The girl narrowed her eyes at him before picking up a tomato and giving it a tentative sniff.

"Huh. They do smell like spring rain."

Thorne let out a sigh of relief. "Alright, let's get started!"

At first he did nothing wrong. He scrambled, chopped, and poured just as she asked. It was when they were about to fry up the eggs into the skillet that his mischief kicked in.

"I'll grab the oil," he said eagerly, trying not to explode with laughter as he pulled out a giant jug of gasoline.

Carswell Thorne is many things. Annoying, yes. Flirtatious, yes. Stupid, oh yeah. But he wasn't an idiot (which totally makes sense, right?). He had emptied the gasoline beforehand and filled the container with water.

Of course, Scarlett didn't know that.

"THORNE!" She dropped her bowl of eggs, the goopy mixture coating the Rampion's tiny kitchen floor. "DON'T MOVE A MUSCLE! THAT'S GASOLINE!"

"Is it?" he replied, feigning obliviousness. He purposely stepped forward into the mess, falling onto his butt and dousing himself with "gasoline" in the process.

"OH MY STARS!" Scarlett all but threw him in the hallway before grabbing several towels from the closet. She tossed one to Thorne. "You need to change clothes and take a shower _now_! I'll deal with this mess." Muttering some not-so-ladylike language, Scarlett turned off the burner and began mopping up the goo.

Thorne hung his head bashfully. "Gee, I'm sorry about that, Scarlett." He spun on his heel and walked away, smirking to himself.

~o0o~

Whistling the tune of a song he picked up from Cress, Thorne strolled into the front of the ship. Kai and Wolf were awkwardly sitting in silence, with Wolf gazing out the window and Kai picking at a hangnail. They both visibly brightened when Thorne entered the room.

"Is Scarlett almost done with breakfast?" Wolf asked. Thorne laughed in response, shuffling around to find a chair to sit in and to keep up the "blind" act.

"I think we're just having cereal today, my canine companion. In the meantime, could I interest you fellas in a little game?"

"Oh stars, yes!" Kai exclaimed. He reddened slightly at his outburst, clearing his throat. "It's just... er... since we're waiting for the whole 'saving the world' thing it's been kind of boring around here."

"Exactamundo. This particular game is simple and involves money, my two favorite elements in any sort of activity! Here's how it goes: the two of you will pick out an object to hand to me, and I will have to guess what it is in fewer than 15 seconds. Depending on the difficulty of the item you will decide on a price. If I guess what it is, I get the money. If I don't, I'll pay you. Sound good?"

Thorne could've suggested playing ring-around-the-rosy and they probably would have accepted. After brushing off Kai's concerns about sensitivity ("honestly, your majesty, you are in no way taking advantage of my current situation, though I will _gladly_ accept any condolence gifts you have to offer"), both men had stacks of univs sitting out and determined grins on their faces.

Thorne prided himself on his ability to keep a straight face, though he almost lost it while Kai and Wolf fumbled around to find a suitable object, clueless to his plot. Finally, they decided on the crushed door handle resulting from Iko's excited freak out session a few days back. He would have killed to see Kai's face when she screamed "OH MY HEAVENLY STARS YOU GUYS _KISSED?!_ "

He furrowed his brow when they placed the object in his hands, making a big show of feeling, sniffing, and even licking the door knob.

"5 seconds," Wolf warned.

"Is it… the crushed door knob?"

Thorne feigned joyful surprise when the pair confirmed his guess, handing over the designated 50 univs. "Beginners luck?" he suggested, shrugging his shoulders.

Thirty minutes and a good 400 univs later, Thorne was grinning cheekily while Kai and Wolf scowled. Sure, he purposely lost here and there to boost their confidence, but he was most definitely the one who benefited the most in the end.

"Well, this has been fun, but I better get going." Scooping his haul into his arms, he exited his room, now with a little more spring in his step. Kai and Wolf just sat there, scratching their heads in disbelief.

"So… do you want to play go fish?"

~o0o~

Thorne was still cackling after dumping his money in his room. "What a bunch of chumps," he mumbled gleefully, knocking of Cress's door. "Hey, Cress, it's me!" He hadn't figured out how to mess with her yet, but then again he had a knack for spontaneity.

"Come in!" Her already soft voice was muffled through the door, and he almost missed her reply. Swinging open the door with a little too much enthusiasm, he opened his mouth to say something, and then stopped dead in his tracks.

Cress was sitting on a stool that was much too tall for her, granting her the luxury of swinging her legs freely as she toyed on her portscreen. Her eyes were a deep blue, much darker than Thorne had previously envisioned. Her blonde locks were cropped fashionable to her shoulders- Iko's work, not his own- and her pink lips were pursed in concentration, and her little nose was absolutely adorable, and _aces_ she was beautiful.

And did he mention that she was wearing nothing but a towel?

"What do you need, Captain?"

Her eyes fluttered upward, and he could've sworn his heart stopped for a moment when they locked on his own. He completely forgot that he was supposed to be blind.

"Cress… you're… erm…" _Gorgeous? Amazing? Perfect in every way?_ There were plenty of ways that he could've finished that sentence.

"… here."

She blinked. "Um, Captain? Are you alright?" Setting her technology down on her desk, she started towards him. And yes, she was still clad in nothing but a towel.

"Aces," he muttered, averted his eyes downward. Normally he would be thrilled to be in this sort of situation, but this was _Cress_. Sweet, innocent Cress, who still thought he was blind, for stars sake!

And then her hands were on him, checking his forehead. "You don't seem to have a fever, but your face has become really red all of a sudden. Was there something you needed to tell me?"

To complete his humiliation, Iko came skipping into the room, cheerful as ever. "Hey, Cress, Thorne." And with that brief acknowledgment she ripped off Cress's towel.

"ACES, IKO, WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?!" Thorne, eyes firmly glued to the opposite wall, ripped off his jacket and handed it to Cress, face brighter than Scarlett's hair.

"Um, Captain?"

"Just take the jacket, Cress. I'll deal with Iko in a second."

"Captain?"

"Aww, Thorne is blushing!"

"SHUT IT IKO! This is serious! How dare you besmirch an innocent girl's honor?"

"Captain!"

Cress's voice was raised higher than usual, and he swiveled around to face her, forgetting her indecent state. Letting out a brief (and totally manly, don't listen to Iko, it wasn't high-pitched) shriek, he covered his eyes.

Wait a minute… Cress didn't have blue skin…

He took another glance at her and was surprised to see that she was wearing a blue strapless dress along with a confused and slightly embarrassed expression. "Captain, why did you think I was… n-naked?" she timidly asked.

"You… you were wearing a towel…" He spluttered. Iko giggled at his response.

"I overheard you this morning, Thorne, and decided to have a little fun. I asked Cress here to wear a towel over her dress and waited in the hall for you to come!" She giggled, promptly took out her portscreen, snapped a picture of his expression, and laughed even harder. Thorne turned to Cress, who now looked more confused than ever.

"Why did you wear the towel?"

"I-I don't know, I just didn't want to be rude or anything. You got your eyesight back?"

"Yeah, I guess _that_ cat is out of the bag…" Cress self-consciously began to pull at her dress and fix her hair, shyly glancing up at him with an expectant look on her face. Thorne chuckled, and his suave, flirtatious attitude returned.

"Did I forget to mention that you look absolutely gorgeous, Mrs. Smith? And short hair definitely suits you." She beamed in response, tucking a stray lock behind her ear.

"Awww, you guys!" They both snapped back to reality, glancing at the giggling android. "Why don't you just make it official and date already?"

Thorne, never one to miss a beat, winked at the blushing Lunar, who began to violently stutter.

"Oh, and Thorne," Iko added, smiling evilly, "I'm telling the others. In fact, Cinder has just been updated on this entire situation, and she said you're getting a lecture when she gets back from Luna."

"What? No! She'll take away the univs that I rightfully deceived into getting!"

After an hour of arguing and bargaining (along with little bits of insight from Cress, who patiently listened to the entire conversation) it was decided that Iko would withhold the information from the rest of the crew as long as Thorne snuck some pictures of a shirtless Kai to Iko in return. That gave him plenty of time to spend the money before Cinder returned.

The minute Iko left, Thorne scooped up Cress before dropping her onto her bed, snuggling up next to her. "Get comfy," he muttered, smirking at her flustered yet giggly state. "I haven't been able to look at you for days and we're going to make up for that now. Can you say that bit about how great and heroic I am again? I wanna see how you looked when you said it."

~o0o~


	2. Hormones and Sugar

**Hi guys! I want to thank you all so much for all of the positive feedback on my last chapter, it was really sweet :3**

 **Just in case there was any confusion as to how my fanfic is going to work, I am making a bunch of unconnected as well as connected stories. In fact, I'm thinking of writing a follow-up chapter to my previous story about Thorne, just so we can see what sort of punishment Cinder has in store for him XD**

 **This particular story isn't necessarily connected with my last one; it's a humorous piece about the girls having an emotional breakdown mixed with a crazy sugar high and how the guys attempt to handle it.**

 **I do not own the Lunar Chronicles.**

Wolf, Thorne, and Kai could easily be described as three capable men. Kai led an entire country, Thorne had perfected the art of combat thanks to his military and criminal background, and Ze'ev could rip a man in half if he desired to do so. In fact, they were currently helping lead a revolution that would change the lives of millions across two different planets.

Despite all of this, however, all three were at a loss when presented with the situation before them.

The female menstrual cycle was a known-albeit awkward- subject among all grown men. They knew the basics: there was blood, pain, and mood swings. If you say "yes" and purchase chocolate, you're in the clear. What many males _didn't_ know, however, was that when females lived together for a certain period of time their cycles would synch up.

Honestly, that would've been bad enough. The guys would've had their hands full dealing with the emotions and cravings of three girls at once. Add in about six tons of sugar and you get what they were facing now.

That's right. Cinder, Cress, and Scarlett managed to get their hands on two bags of candy, four gallons of ice cream, a cheesecake, and an eight-pack of pudding cups. Add the sugar high to their already frazzled emotions, and you have an emotional breakdown on steroids.

~o0o~

The day started innocently enough. Iko suggested a girl's day in, shutting themselves in Cinder's room for a supposed afternoon of chatting and relaxing in each other's company. Thorne, Kai, and Wolf unintentionally ended up on the couch watching old Pixar films (yes, they were still popular to that day, how couldn't they be?).

If anyone asked they would claim to be watching the sports network, drinking beer and hollering at coaches. Every now and then they would cheer with much more volume than necessary just to remind the girls how "manly" they were.

When the T.V. pinged, implying an incoming message, the trio ignored it. After all, who could pause when the Incredibles were so close to defeating the droid?

"We should probably check that," Kai mentioned after the 50th ping. The other two murmured their agreement, eyes till glued to the screen. After a few more alerts he sighed and turned off the T.V. himself, effectively snapping Thorne and Wolf out of their daze.

"Dude, what the heck? Jack Jack was totally going off on Syndrome," Thorne whined.

Kai ignored him and clicked on the alert. 62 messages from Iko popped up, each one growing more extreme than the last, starting with "hey the girls are getting a bit wild send help maybe?" and ending with "I HAVE LOCKED MYSELF IN THE BATHROOM THEY ARE INSANE SAVE YOURSELVES!"

All three of them just stared at the screen for a moment, mouths agape.

"Um… what?" Wolf spluttered, breaking the silence.

Thorne leapt from his sprawled position from the couch as if being suddenly broken out of a spell, heading straight towards the screen. "This must be one of Iko's pranks," he decided, pointing accusingly at the messages. "I mean, Cress is as gentle and sweet as a freaking kitten!"

"Yeah!" Wolf agreed, jumping up as well. "And Scarlett isn't timid, but she has her head on straight!"

"I agree. Cinder the smartest person I know," Kai added. "There's no way she could be-what was the word Iko used- _insane_? This is definitely a prank."

"The girls think they're slick coming up with this. They're probably laughing their faces off right now." Wolf cracked one of his rare grins at the thought.

"Probably," Thorne chuckled, shaking his head. "It has to be fake." He glanced back at the screen, considering something. "But if this was real, we all know that it would be Scarlett and Cinder causing the chaos in there."

Wolf's grin disappeared. "What's that supposed to mean," he growled, eyes flashing. Thorne didn't get the hint.

"Like I said, Cress is as sweet as can be, but those two can be pretty wild. Scarlett in particular can get pretty insane when she's mad."

Kai coughed. Wolf clenched his teeth.

"Scarlett? _My_ Scarlett? Your girl is the one who's been locked in a satellite for her whole life, who's to say she hasn't gone crazy?"

Now it was Thorne's turn to get mad. Kai mentally noted that he didn't dismiss the term "your girl."

"You're playing that card? _Really?_ She couldn't control that situation at all, and she did a pretty damn good job transitioning to earth regardless!"

Kai, his diplomat instincts finally kicking in, jumped between the two. "Okay, guys, this is ridiculous! You're arguing about a _hypothetical_ situation! Cinder wouldn't let anything like that happen, anyway."

Thorne and Kai exchanged looks, and then looked back at the young King.

"Uh, yeah she would."

"Cinder's got some screws loose herself, man."

Kai was a calm person. He had to deal with annoying advisors and pestering townspeople all the time, and he took insults to his rule in stride. In this case, however, he yanked both men by the collar, glaring into their eyes. "Is that supposed to be some sort of Cyborg quip?" he asked, his voice holding a dangerous edge.

If they hadn't been interrupted, the three of them would probably end up having a brawl. Actually, to be honest, Thorne and Kai would have cowered after Wolf made any threatening motion (hey, the guy was pretty darn strong). Instead of that pathetic scenario, however, they were interrupted by another ping.

"Iko…?" Kai guessed, releasing Thorne and Wolf.

The message across the screen read "OKAY YEAH I SAID SAVE YOURSELVES BUT COULD YOU SAVE ME TOO PLEASE!?"

All three exchanged looks. "It wouldn't hurt to take a look," Wolf shrugged.

~o0o~

The minute the door to Cinder's room was opened, Thorne, Kai, and Wolf stopped dead in their tracks.

The first thing they noticed was the trash. Empty pudding cups, candy wrappers, and ice cream tubs were strewn across the floor. There were chocolate smudges on the wall and an empty cheesecake tin clung for dear life on the ceiling fan.

The second thing they noticed was the girls.

Cinder was beating a half-empty tub of vanilla ice cream with a wrench, screaming "WHY CAN'T YOU BE CHOCOLATE?!" After a few good whacks she picked it up, scooped a glob into her mouth using the same wrench she used to beat it with, and then threw it across the room.

Consequentially, the container smacked Kai dead on in the face, leaving streaks of ice cream on his face and drawing Cinder's attention to him."Kai, get over here _right now_ ," she glowered.

Thorne and Wolf immediately stopped laughing at the flustered King and stared at Cinder with confusion. Everyone knew she was mad for the young royal, and in a normal situation she would be apologizing profusely to him.

Kai cautiously made his way over to her. "Uh, h-how are you?" He stuttered.

Cinder scowled. "How am I? I'll tell you how I am. There are _six_ tubs of ice cream in here and _not one_ of them is chocolate! All vanilla and strawberry! When I want ice cream, I don't want any freaking fruit in there! And whose idea was it to purchase _fat-free_ whipped cream?"

Cinder continued to shout his ear off, gesturing wildly. Kai had to duck a few times when her robotic arm flung too close to his head.

Both Thorne and Wolf were staring in complete shock at the situation before them, and their confusion only doubled when a certain redhead bolted into Wolf's arms, sobbing uncontrollably.

Wolf looked like a teenager staring at a calculus textbook: he had no idea what to do. His hands awkwardly landed on her cheeks, squishing her face and making her cries even louder.

"Scarlett, what's the matter? Is it your grandmother? Your time on Luna? Did _I_ do something?" There was a desperate note to his tone, and his eyes wildly flitted across her face, searching for some kind of answer. Next to finding out Scarlett was captured, it was the most terrified Thorne had ever seen him.

"I-it's not any of that… it's j-j-just…" she sniffed, lower lip trembling. It was almost scary, seeing this bold, quick-witted girl reduced to a puddle of tears.

"What?" Wolf coaxed, hesitantly patting her head.

"W-well, I _wanted_ to eat a Kit-Kat, and th-then I dropped it, and it was covered with lint, but it was the l-l-last one and _my life is falling apart!_ " She burst into tears again, burying her face into his shirt.

Wolf glanced over at Thorne with utter confusion, eyes questioning. Thorne just shrugged and mouthed 'I told you so.'

And then Cress showed up.

"GUYS I FOUND IKO!" Cress skipped into the room, arm linked with the terrified android. "If you're going to play hide-and-go-seek you have to tell us, silly!" She laughed hysterically, playfully punched her in the arm, and then laughed harder at the sight of her own bruised knuckles.

"Thorne!" Iko proclaimed, voice laced with relief. The young captain was staring at Cress with a mixed expression of shock and wonderment.

"OH MY STARS _CAPTAIN_ YOU'RE HERE!" She released Iko, who made a beeline for the door. Thorne took a tentative step towards Cress.

"Sooo… how's your girl's night?"

"It's SO good!" Cress was hopping on each foot, her eyes shining with excitement…or was that just the sugar rush? "I had chocolate, and the only chocolate I got on the satellite was this weird dairy-free stuff, and I had cheesecake, and I had pudding, and- oh stars, Captain! I had ice cream for the first time in my life! Have you ever had ice cream before, 'cuz if not you have to and it's like a creamy bite of heaven!"

"Yeah, Cress, I've had ice cream before," Thorne chuckled. For some reason Cress found this hilarious, because she started laughing so hard that she fell onto the floor, pounding her tiny fists into the cheap carpet.

"Honestly Kai!" Cinder's voice carried over Cress's giggles and Scarlett's sobs, drawing all of the attention in the room to her. "I just don't get it. You're the King, I'm about to take back my throne, we kissed, so why don't you just propose already!"

The room was silent. Thorne emitted a low whistle. Kai scratched his head awkwardly.

"Um… what?"

"She's right." Cress was now oddly serious, staring at Kai with a queer expression on her face from her position on the floor. "You guys are perfect together, and you've made no efforts to really start building your relationship."

"She deserves a kickass ring," Scarlett added, nodding solemnly.

All eyes were on Kai, who was giving the classic deer-in-the-headlights expression. "Of course I love you Cinder," he started, using a gentle tone that you might use with a toddler, "and I do think we should build our relationship more, but since we haven't defeated Levana yet, I don't think we're ready-"

"Oh my stars, he said _but_!" Cinder wailed, now on the verge of tears. "I NEED CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM _NOW!"_

"What is with you guys?" Scarlett scowled, shoving Wolf off of her all of a sudden. "We work our butts off for you, dressing up nice and being attentive in hopes that you'll notice, and what do we get from you? _Nothing_." She turned to Wolf, hands on her hips. "Ze'ev, when is my birthday?"

Now it was _his_ turn to be put on the spot. "Uhhh… February 12th?"

If looks could kill, he'd be annihilated on the spot. "It's in September."

While Wolf tried to calm down his alpha female and Kai tried to console the now sobbing Cinder, Thorne had issues of his own.

"Geez, those two need to get their ladies under control," Thorne chuckled, looking to Cress for support. Unfortunately tears were budding up in her eyes as well.

Thorne froze. No amount of military training had prepared him for this. "Uh oh… what's wrong, Cress?"

She sniffed, wiping her palms under her eyes. "It's just… Cinder's over there talking to Kai about marriage, and Wolf is trying her hardest to please Scarlett, and I'm over here with this unresponsive _potato_ who's even blinder now than when he was actually blind!"

He blinked, slowly processing the fact that he was said potato. Now she was bawling, slapping away Thorne's hands when he made any attempt to comfort her.

Now Cinder and Cress were in full-out breakdown mode, and Scarlett seemed to be heading down that track herself, her eyes welling up while screaming at Wolf about the pro-wrestling calendar he got her for Valentine's Day. All three guys made eye contact, silently coming to a conclusion as to how to best handle their given situation

Thorne gently tossed the wailing Cress across his shoulder, effectively carrying her out of the room and into her own. Wolf did the same with Scarlett, and Kai easily lead Cinder to her bed, her sobs reduced to irregular hiccups.

That was the thing about the sugar high; even though it was mixed with intense hormones, they eventually had to crash.

~o0o~

Wolf gladly accepted the cup of coffee Kai handed to him, groaning as he sunk down into the couch. He had spent a good hour after he left Cinder's room calming down Scarlett and listening to her rants. Eventually she fell asleep, but not before she gave him a few good punches in the stomach. He was proud of her fierceness, but _damn_ those blows hurt.

Kai's experience wasn't exactly the same, though it definitely wasn't comfortable. Cinder wasn't crying anymore, but she began babbling about emotions and feelings and the future, and he couldn't quite wrap his head around it, but he nodded nonetheless. He just prayed that this new side he saw to her wasn't going to be her default mode.

Cress had also stopped crying shortly after Thorne carried her into her room, but she began demanding that he bring in some more ice cream. When he refused to comply, she huffed a little, peered closely into his face, and noted, "now that I think about it, you really aren't as handsome as I thought you were from pictures on the net."

Yeah, his pride had been wounded.

Cinder was the first girl up that morning. She was oddly quiet, keeping her head ducked down as she sipped her glass of water. Altogether she seemed calm, but none of the guys made a sound for fear of ticking her off.

"…Did that really happen yesterday?" She quietly asked, breaking the silence. No one had to question what she meant by that; they all silently nodded.

Groaning, Cinder pulled up a chair. "That was just… stars, I started talking you proposing, didn't I, Kai?"

"Yep," Kai confirmed, squirming in his seat. "And, erm, if you're really that anxious-"

"No!" She blurted. "I mean, yeah, I really like you and think we should build on what we have, but marriage… that's way down the line," she said, waving her hand dismissively. Kai could've cried on the spot, he was so relieved.

Cress was the next to arrive, shuffling into the room like a student on her way to detention. She took a seat next to Cinder, nervously glancing at her. She didn't dare make eye contact with Thorne.

"…Cress?" He prodded, smirking slightly at her timid demeanor. Her enthusiastic attitude was interesting, but her reserved attitude was what really drew her to him.

"Captain," she started, daring to look up into his eyes, "I am so sorry; please don't let me eat ice cream ever again."

He laughed out loud, scooting his chair next to hers and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "You're fine, Cress. Don't worry about it."

She tried to smile, but found it pretty difficult. She had called the love of her life a potato. A _potato._

Iko came down next, eying the two girls suspiciously.

"Are you guys back to normal?" she asked point-blank. Embarrassed, they both nodded, and Iko breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank _goodness_ ; I thought I was going to have to dismantle myself to escape your craziness!"

A few moments later, once the conversation finally got back to its usual liveliness, Scarlett strolled into the room.

"Listen, Scarlett, you don't have to apologize for everything that went on last night," Wolf started, pulling out a chair for her next to him. "We're all over it now."

"When's my birthday?" She asked, her voice monotone.

"Uhhh…"

"Thought so." She grabbed an apple off the table and exited the room, a fleeting grin marking her face. Wolf just chuckled and shook his head.

"Women," Thorne sympathized.

" _Men_ ," Cinder corrected, rolling her eyes and leaving the room.

"Ain't that the truth," Cress quietly confirmed, following after her. Iko giggled and tagged along.

All three of them exchanged glances.

"Well, we're back where we started," Thorne announced, tossing his plastic cup in the trash. "Now who's up for some _Monster's Inc_?"


	3. Eavesdropping

**A/N: Yay, chapter 3 is here! :D**

 **Thank you all for reviewing! I can't begin to tell you how much it means to me!**

 **This chapter is about when the boys finally decide to sit down and talk about their feelings… with the girls listening in all the while :D This idea came from LookAgain**

 **I do not own the Lunar Chronicles**

It was a particularly boring day on the Rampion. Cinder was absently flipping through the security camera angles, satisfied that everyone else seemed as exhausted as she felt. Cress and Scarlett were playing a computer animated game of checkers next to her, Iko was watching them with half-lidded eyes, and the three guys were practically passed out on the couch, only moving to drop potato chips into their mouths.

Groaning dramatically, Iko plopped herself next to Cinder. "I'm, like, sooo bored," she whined, resting her head in Cinder's lap. "Can we fight some Lunars or blow something up or do _anything_ besides sitting here and watching paint dry?"

Chuckling slightly, Cinder ruffled her hair. "Yeah, I honestly wish we could, but it looks like we're just having a lazy day today."

Iko sighed, closing her eyes. "Alright, but tomorrow we're definitely blowing stuff up."

"Whatever you say."

Not even 10 minutes later Cinder felt her eyelids begin to droop. Iko's body created a calming hum of energy on her lap, which gave off a surprisingly lulling effect. Resting her arms and head on the control board, she let herself drift off to sleep.

~o0o~

Scarlett and Cress weren't having the most riveting time, either. After about 25 games of virtual checkers, the colors began to blur, and Scarlett was getting tired of losing every time. It turns out spending most of your life on a satellite leads to more than a few checker games against "Little Cress."

"Best 26 out of 52?" Scarlett suggested, her voice bordering monotone.

"Dude, you know we have to talk about it at some point."

Scarlett yawned, leaning back in her chair. "Talk about what, Cress?"

"Like, feelings and shit?"

"Um… what?"

"Well, you know I'm basically in love with Cinder."

"WHAT?!" Scarlett was wide awake now. Cress fell out of her chair with a squeak, landing on the floor.

"W-what's wrong?" Cress stuttered, eyes wide. "Are we being attacked?"

"You just said- oh stars, Cress- you know she loves Kai, right?"

"Are we talking about Cinder?"

"Yes, and how you're in love with her!"

Now it was Cress's turn to be shocked. She couldn't even regain enough sense to get off of the floor. "W-what? I d-d-don't… she's… I mean, there's Captain…"

"We can all admit it, man, Cinder is hot. She's like a sister to me, though."

That hadn't come from either Scarlett or Cress. Both girls simultaneously turned to the port screen. It was partially blocked by Cinder's sleeping form, but they got the gist; all three guys were sitting on the couch and discussing them. What Scarlett overheard was bits and pieces of their current conversation.

Iko was already sitting wide-eyed in front of the screen, a gleeful grin lighting up her face. "This day _finally_ just got interesting!" She shook the sleeping cyborg awake. "Cinder, Kai's talking about you!"

"Wha…?" Cinder rubbed her eyes, facing the screen. Cress and Scarlett eagerly pulled their chairs up next to her.

"It's obvious you're crazy for her!" Thorne nudged Kai in the ribs, laughing a little. "Thing is, though, you haven't seen all of her sides."

Cinder was definitely awake now. "What is he doing?" She growled, her wrench in hand.

Kai looked slightly confused. "What do you mean?"

"Well, she's super sweet and all to you, but not so much to us," Thorne chuckled. "Don't get me wrong, I love her to pieces, but you gotta know her true personality."

All eyes were on Kai. Cinder's emotions were flashing between anger towards Thorne and fear towards Kai. "This is _so_ better than any net drama," Cress mumbled. Iko and Scarlett nodded in agreement.

Kai's confused expression was replaced with the kind of smile that made girls across the planet swoon. "Thorne, you got to remember that I've technically known her longer than you. She wasn't all sweetness to me all the time. In fact, she rejected me several times when I tried to make a move on her."

Cress and Scarlett looked at Cinder in shock. "It's true," Iko giggled. Cinder nodded, hiding a grin behind her hand.

"…And believe me, I'd take Cinder even if she beat me senseless with a screwdriver every night. She's… I don't know." He scratched the back of his head, grin widening. " She's special."

"AWWWW!" If Cinder could blush, she would in that moment. Cress, Scarlett, and Iko were clinging to her, goofy grins plastered across their faces.

"EWWWW!" Wolf tossed Thorne a pillow, which he promptly whacked Kai with.

"C'mon man, don't get lovey-dovey on us," Wolf complained.

"Hey, it was Thorne who suggested the idea."

Thorne raised his hands up in his defense. "Chicks do it all the time and they seem to like it!"

"Alright then, hotshot," Wolf smirked, "it's your turn. What's going on between you and Cress?"

Cress, on the other hand, _could_ blush, and she most definitely did in that moment.

"Cress?" Thorne shrugged. "I mean, she's a sweet girl."

"She's cute, too, in an adorable way," Kai added. Thorne and Wolf gave him blank stares. "Hey, you guys called Cinder hot, so can't I make observations as well?"

"Anywaaay," Thorne said, drawing the attention back to himself, "she's sweet and cute and all that, but there's no way I can limit myself to one person. Cress and I kind of had our thing; she liked me, we kissed, and she got over me. Whatever."

Cress bowed her head at his words, biting her lower lip. Scarlett rubbed her back sympathetically, and the wrench magically ended up in Cinder's fist again.

"…Well that's bullshit."

Thorne glanced up at Wolf. "What do you mean?"

He rolled his eyes. "So you say you don't love her, right? You're a surface level playboy; all you do is take a look at a girl, decide she's hot, hook up, and never see her again."

"That sounds about right," Thorne mused, scratching his chin.

"Alright. Now with Cress, you didn't get to see her. Sure, you caught a quick glimpse when you first entered the satellite, but you didn't _really_ see her. You spent weeks with her, forced to actually get to know her with your sight removed. This is what makes you two so special: you didn't see her, but you saw _her_ , Cress's true personality, and that's what you fell in love with."

Thorne and Kai were silent.

"Wow… that… that was deep," Kai murmured.

Back in the room, the girls were practically swooning. "That's my man!" Scarlett proudly exclaimed. Cress leaned in closer to the screen, eager to see Thorne's reaction.

Thorne sucked in his cheeks, and then released them with a sigh. "She's too good for me," he admitted, the arrogance and snarkiness removed from his tone. "Cress, she does things because they're right, not for personal gain. I think she's great- amazing, really- but I would just hurt her in the end."

By this point Cress's hands here clutching at her heart, her eyes hypnotized by the screen. "Never watching net dramas again," she whispered.

"Well, have you ever thought that by pushing her away you're just hurting her even more?" Kai suggested.

All three were silent for a moment. Well, all six, if you counted the girls.

"ANYWAY!" Thorne clapped his hands loudly, his mischievous grin back on his face. "We talked about me, we talked about Kai, and now it's time to talk about you. How's our favorite redhead doing?"

Cinder, Cress, and Iko smiled at Scarlett knowingly, who rested her chin on her palm. "It's about time they talked about me," she mumbled, smirking slightly.

"What can I say? She's beautiful, she's smart, she can cook, and she loves me. She's my alpha female." Wolf's besotted grin looked on odd his intimidating body, but it was endearing all the same.

"So you guys are good? Even after her time on Luna?"

Wolf's grin disappeared. Scarlett sucked in a sharp breathe.

Kai, the one who asked the question earlier, grimaced slightly. "Hey, I'm sorry; I didn't mean to bring that up."

"No, it's cool." Wolf sighed, rubbing his hands together. "I have been concerned for Scarlett lately. I may not be a feelings person-"

"That beautiful speech begs to differ," Iko noted.

"-But I can tell that what happened there really scared her. I mean, she's already been through hell with what happened with her grandmother and all, and then this…" He was clenching the arm of the couch, knuckles whitening. "It's just not fair. I can't help but feel like I've failed her." His whole body was trembling at this point; whether it was from grief or rage it was hard to tell.

"Wolf," Thorne started, setting a hand on his shoulder, "Don't beat yourself up. Scarlett is one of the toughest people I know. She doesn't blame for anything, you have to know that."

"I really don't, Ze'ev," Scarlett whispered, as if he could hear her through the monitor.

"Even if she doesn't, I do. And I hope she knows that I won't let anyone _ever_ touch her again. If anyone even _thinks_ about hurting Scarlett…" He didn't have to finish his sentence. The expression on his face and the way he cracked his knuckles against his palm was explanation enough.

"Yeah. I know." Scarlett smiled to herself while Cinder pulled her into a half-hug and Cress and Iko had a mini fangirl session behind them.

"…Did we really just do that?"

"I found it refreshing."

"'Course you did, your royal pansiness."

"Hey!"

And so the girls' lovely afternoon of daydreaming and invading privacy ended. That is, until dinner…

~o0o~

"Scarlett, could you pass the potatoes?"

Scarlett smiled, sliding the bowl down to Thorne. "There you go. I made them myself. I am an amazing cook, after all," she remarked, sharing knowing smiles with the other girls.

"I can't disagree," he commented, digging into his meal.

"Some say that she also beautiful and smart," Iko added cheerfully. Kai and Thorne remained oblivious and focused on their food, but Wolf paused mid-bite.

"Uh… what?"

"Why, Ze'ev, do you disagree?" Scarlett smirked, winking cheekily at him.

Kai, confused by the situation, turned to Cinder for answers. Delighted to be part of the running gag and mustering up her courage, Cress said, "Kai, we all know Cinder is hot, but do you have to stare at her?"

The king's jaw dropped open, and, to his embarrassment, a bit of his meal fell out of his mouth in the process.

Thorne laughed out loud at the sight, banging his fist against the table. "That was _beautiful_ Cress! Man, the look on his face is priceless!" Cress raised her eyebrows, surprised that he hadn't caught on yet.

"He doesn't get it," Cinder lamented, shaking her head.

"Whaddaya mean, Cinder?"

"Well, I thought Cress made it obvious what she was referring to… then again she is way better than you."

Thorne dropped his spoon. "Wait… are you saying-"

Iko bolted up in her seat. "Well, the meal was delicious- I know _I'm_ stuffed- but we really better get going, right girls?" With that she dragged the other three out of the room, giggling all the while.

Kai, Thorne, and Wolf were dumbstruck.

"Guys… what have we gotten ourselves into?"


	4. Road Trip AU Part 1

**A/N: Hey guys! I took a little longer to update this time, and TBH it's probably only going to get worse :/ School is starting soon, and I'm going to be craaaazy busy this year. I will continue to write, though!**

 **I was told by a couple of people some of the mistakes I've made in previous chapters: I spelled Scarlet with two t's and I called Kai a king instead of an emperor. I am so sorry! I don't know if I'll go back to those chapters and fix them any time soon, but I'll be more careful in future chapters**

 **This particular one is an AU about the gang going on a summer road trip. I hope you enjoy!**

 **Thanks again for reading and reviewing! I love you all :3**

 **I do not own the Lunar Chronicles.**

The road trip was Cinder's idea.

Every summer, one of the seven (Cinder, Kai, Iko, Scarlet, Wolf, Cress, or Thorne) would come up with a fun plan. It was an idea that they unanimously agreed on years ago, but lately Cinder felt like scratching the ritual altogether.

It wasn't so bad at first. Scarlet managed to get hold of seven decently-priced plane tickets to Paris, where they all stayed for a week. Cinder specifically remembered it as the week that her close friend and secret crush, Kai, confessed his feelings for her.

Yeah, it was a good week.

Cress planned a slightly-less extravagant (but still amazing) visit to New York, where they saw Phantom of the Opera on Broadway. Cinder had never been a big fan of musicals, but even she couldn't deny how breathtaking the performance was. It was after that when things began to slide downhill.

Kai honestly did have good intentions. Going to Washington D.C. was the perfect trip for the local politician, and he even managed to get Thorne excited when he talked about the extravagant hotel he booked. The situation grew complicated when the hotel lost their reservation, worsening still when Kai realized his wallet had been stolen (being the planner of the trip, he was also the main financial provider). They ended up pooling their money and cramming in a dingy one bed suite with a bathroom door that didn't lock. In only two days of staying there Thorne had managed to walk in to all four girls changing on separate occasions ("I swear it was an accident!" he spluttered when Wolf and Kai furiously approached him). They still got to tour the buildings and see the museums, though, so it wasn't a total loss.

Wolf's trip had the most potential to be disastrous; tickets to an MMA match. Cinder surprisingly found herself enjoying the event, and she would have preferred to see the result of the fight. Unfortunately, one of the fans just had to leer at Scarlet- making a comment about her appearance that was even dirtier than the D.C. hotel room in the process- and Wolf exploded. In fact, a small crowd of people abandoned the fight just to watch Wolf and the Hulk Hogan doppelganger duke it out. Needless to say they ended up in the emergency room.

And last year was Thorne's trip. He still claims that he had no idea that it was a nude beach.

So, after convincing Iko to let her take this year's position as the trip decider, Cinder had taken it upon herself to redeem their summer vacation routine once and for all. Her road trip plan was genius; she had planned out a handful of stops along the way, so it would be like several vacations rolled into one. Therefore, she logically reasoned, they couldn't _all_ be bad... right?

~o0o~

"...So your big summer plan is for us to just drive in circles?" Thorne had been whining the moment Cinder forced him to begin packing, which he did with the attitude of a five-year-old. Cinder rolled her eyes and began folding the shirts he lazily threw on top of his bed.

"It's not about the destination, Thorne, it's about the journey."

"Oh, please. You totally stole that from a cheesy poster."

Thorne and Cinder met seven years ago when Cinder moved into their apartment building. She banged on his door when he played his music too loud, he shamelessly flirted with her, she whacked him with a screwdriver, and the rest was history.

Iko came a week later. She was Cinder's best and only friend from her hometown, and she claimed to understand when Cinder insisted upon leaving the minute she turned 18. That didn't last long. After a mere seven days of separation she was banging on her apartment door, begging to move in with her. Cinder, of course, accepted, relieved that she didn't have to continue life without her closest companion.

Not long after that she met Kai, a polished state senator who needed help with a messed-up laptop. It started with a single visit to the technology repair shop she worked at, but they soon fell into a weekly routine. Kai would drop by every Friday with some sort of question, and eventually Cinder invited him to hang out with the group (partially because she wanted to get to know him, and partially because Iko begged her to the moment she saw his face). He later admitted that he made up questions about the device just so he could come and talk to her. "I thought it seemed fishy when you asked me how to send an email," she teased later, nudging him in the ribs.

Scarlet and Wolf, with her bright hair and his hulking muscles, were a couple that stuck out like a sore thumb. Everyone recognized them wherever they went, and within a week of arriving to the town they were pretty well-known. They were introduced to the group when Thorne dared to walk up to Wolf and ask what steroids he was using.

Cinder had to hit him with her closest piece of equipment.

Cress was the newest addition to the group, and despite her shy personality, she got along with them as if she was there from the very beginning. Years ago she had timidly approached Cinder and asked her about any open apartments, and she gladly guided her to her own building. There were several people interested in the recently-abandoned flat situated in the corner of their complex, but Thorne took one look at Cress and made absolute certain that she got the space.

And what do you know; she did.

All of them came from difficult backgrounds. They were runaways and misfits, searching to find a place where they belonged. They finally found that place in each other.

And goshdarnit, Cinder was going to make this the best trip ever, because if anyone deserved a break it was them.

"You better keep a smile on your face when you're in the van, Thorne, or else I'll tell Cress that you listen to her when she sings in the shower."

The perfectly confident and flirtatious Thorne reddened at that comment scratching the back of his head. "You know about that, huh?" Thorne had been officially dating Cress for seven months now, and it was his longest relationship by a landslide. For years he had claimed that he'd never tie himself to a single woman, but things changed ever since Cress arrived. It took a lot of soul searching and some nudging from Cinder, Scarlet, and Iko for him to realize that the reason he wasn't flirting well with girls any more was because he was only interested in one girl: Cress. It took waaay too long for Thorne to realize that, but Cress was patient. Cinder never saw her smiling harder than the night he finally manned up and kissed her.

"Yep. I caught you a couple of weeks ago," Cinder admitted, smirking.

"Well, if you don't let me drive then I'll tell Kai that you pray he'll propose to you every night."

Cinder flushed. "Hey, that's not true!"

"No, but I can be pretty convincing." He chuckled at her expression, swinging his fully-packed suitcase over his shoulder.

Cinder and Kai were a different story. Both fell head-over-heels in love with each other the moment he stepped into her shop, and the awkward stuttering and love struck stares only ended once they really got to know each other and became friends. Several months of sexual tension later, Kai admitted his feelings to her on their Paris summer trip. They had now been going strong for years, and Cinder would be lying if she said she didn't expect a proposal soon.

"Fine, you can drive," Cinder grumbled, tossing him the keys to the van she rented. Thorne pumped his fist in a silent victory.

There was a excited pounding on the door, and Iko didn't bother waiting for wither of them to open the door before she barged in. She and Cinder had packed early, so they went to Thorne and Cress's apartments separately to help them out. "I AM SOOO EXCITED!" she squealed, pulling Cinder into an enthusiastic hug. "I've packed all of my best dresses and some pants and shirts and a bathing suit and some magazines and my makeup and my curling iron and my fuzzy slippers and-"

"Yeah, we get it," Thorne remarked, eyeing her three practically bursting suitcases. "Where's Cress?"

"She decided to go ahead and take her stuff down to the van. Wolf and Scarlet are almost here, by the way, and Kai will come later." She giggled, hoisting her luggage as if it weighed nothing and skipped out of the room. Thorne and Cinder shrugged before exiting as well.

~o0o~

Outside, Cress was hoisting a suitcase that appeared to be just as big as her body to the beat-up van. Thorne chuckled at the sight, sneaking up behind her. With one arm he grabbed her bag and with the other he pulled her in for a swift kiss, leaving her flustered but smiling.

"PDA," Wolf announced, strolling up to the group with his arm around Scarlet. Cress blushed deeply, but Thorne just laughed in response.

Wolf and Scarlet were already dating when they joined the group. Together they were so natural; it sounds cheesy, but they were like two halves that made a whole. About a year ago Scarlet mentioned something about finally getting married, and a few hours later they officially became husband and wife in city hall. Iko was depressed that she wasn't able to be a bridesmade or go wedding dress shopping, but Scarlet allowed her to throw a _huge_ wedding shower as consolation.

"Yeah, like you're one to talk." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively, and Scarlet rolled her eyes.

"Let's just get our stuff in here. You two can continue your beauty pageant later." Scarlet gave them a pointed glance before swinging her own bags over her shoulder and marching towards the van.

Kai arrived shortly after that, and it only took a few minutes for them to load up the vehicle. By then Thorne had fallen completely in love with the van.

It really wasn't anything special. It had four rows of seats with tacky leather that was ripped up in most places, ketchup (at least they _hoped_ it was ketchup) stains on the ceiling and, a slightly faded and partially scrubbed off image on the back that suspiciously resembled a naked woman.

"I'm calling it The Rampion!" Thorne proudly declared. It was as if it was his first born child rather than a cheap rental.

They all piled in, with Thorne at the wheel, Cress next to him, Cinder, Kai, and Iko crammed in the middle, and Scarlet and Wolf in the back.

"No making out back there, you two," Thorne warned, pulling out of the apartment complex's driveway. "First stop on Cinder's list: Levana's Famous Italian Bistro!"

"That's restaurant is supposed to be the _best_ ," Kai commented.

"They have meatballs the size of soccer balls!" Iko added.

"Italian food has lots of tomatoes," Wolf mumbled, nodding in approval.

They continued to chatter, merrily making their way down the road. Things couldn't have been better…

~To be continued


	5. Discovering Fanfiction

**A/N: Hey, y'all! Here's another chapter for you**

 **This particular story is about the Lunar gang discovering the wonders of fanfiction… and some of my reviewers' stories are involved! I'll recognize the authors and their stories at the bottom of this chapter.**

 **Thanks again for reading and reviewing! Every comment I get makes my day**

 **I do not own the Lunar Chronicles**

 **~o0o~**

"Umm, Iko? What's Kaider?"

Iko froze, immediately regretting letting Cinder borrow her portscreen to type up her diplomatic speech.

"It's a brand of clothing I like," she lied smoothly, twisting her finger in a strand of her blue hair. "Just clothes. Nothing more. And you don't even like fashion stuff, so there's no need to look in that file."

Okay, maybe not so smooth.

Cinder cocked an eyebrow, her finger hovering over the strange word. "You have an entire folder for it," she noted.

"Yeah. I care about how I look." She flipped her thick locks over her shoulder, as if to prove her point.

"Alright." There was a hint of distrust in Cinder's tone, but she began typing up her speech on a blank document. "Iko?"

"Yeah?" her voice was an octave higher than usual.

"Should I start out with something lighthearted, like a joke?"

Iko breathed a quiet sigh of relief. "Oh, Cinder," she said, her cheerful tone once again present in her voice, "you're about as comedic as a rock. Just keep it serious."

~o0o~

All was well aboard the Rampion. Scarlet was cooking dinner. Iko was painting her nails. Cress was illegally downloading movies for them to watch. Thorne was pathetically losing to Wolf in an arm wrestling match. Kai was watching with a mixed expression of awe and terror. And Cinder…

"AHHHHHH!"

…was screaming on the top of her lungs.

Within ten seconds they were all in Cinder's room, ready for battle. Scarlet had even grabbed a frying pan on her way there. Once they observed that Cinder appeared to be in no immediate danger Kai was at her side, rubbing her shoulder with a concerned expression. "Cinder, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

Her mouth was open, but no words came out. Her eyes were transfixed on the portscreen that she held in her shaking hands. Kai, forehead knotted, gently removed the object from her grasp and looked down at the screen. All of the blood drained from his face.

"Is it a threat from Levana?" Wolf asked, his expression grave.

"Are we about to be attacked?" Cress subconsciously stepped closer to Thorne, who wrapped a comforting arm around her.

"Did letumosis somehow get on the Rampion?" Scarlet exchanged a nervous glance with Wolf.

"You opened the Kaider file didn't you?" Iko deadpanned. Kai and Cinder nodded.

Thorne blinked. "The what now?"

Cinder and Kai continued to stare. Thorne, aggravated that they weren't responding, walked behind them and peered down at the screen. What he saw made him laugh out loud.

"What is it?" Scarlet asked.

Thorne smirked before reading out loud. "Exhaustion and stress overtook Cinder. After she let everyone know that Kai knew of her plan, she had tried to save face as best she could, but she finally sat down and sort of crumpled together, muttering to herself somewhat incoherently on the floor. But Kai, feeling unsure from the sudden presence of an audience, had hesitated a moment too long to comfort her again. Much to his dismay, it was Carswell Thorne," here he smiled broadly, "who had been the hero of the hour instead."

"Umm… what?"

Cinder finally found her voice. "It's a- erm- fanfiction. It's called "Jealousy," and it's by lovelunarchron. She wrote about what she pictured happened after Kai and I… after we k-kissed, and I get super stressed out, and then Thorne helps me instead of Kai, and then he gets jealous of Thorne…"

"I'm later described as sultry and smooth," Thorne added cockily.

"I'm sorry for not reacting fast enough, Cinder." Kai sounded genuinely ashamed when he said this. "Spades, what sort of boyfriend just ignores his girlfriend when she breaks down? Maybe you do deserve Thorne."

Thorne sucked in a sharp breathe through his teeth. "Sorry to break your heart, Cinder, but I'm not interested."

Cinder blinked. "What?"

"Stop messing around, you two," Scarlet scoffed, whacking Thorne in the back of his head. "It's a story. No biggie."

"But how do they know about our lives?" Cinder squeaked. "And how do they know Kai and I kissed?" Mentally answering her own question, Cinder glared at Iko.

Iko had been trying this whole time to keep up an innocent persona, but under Cinder's glare she cracked. "I might have slipped it to some people online… and I may keep a blog about our daily lives… and I may have hacked Darla's cameras and posted the kiss on that blog…"

"IKO!" Kai and Cinder screamed at her in unison, their expressions more horrified than angry. Thorne was laughing hysterically on the sidelines, Scarlet was smirking, and Cinder and Wolf looked downright uncomfortable.

"Aww, you guys are already like an old married couple!" Thorne joked.

"I bet there are a bunch of fanfictions about them being married!" Thorne high-fived Scarlet, both of them laughing.

"So there are people out there writing stories about Cinder and me and following our daily activities?" Kai spluttered, looking around the room as if searching for hidden cameras.

Cinder eyes widened suddenly. "Oh my heavenly stars in the freaking sky, Kaider means Kai and Cinder!" She began breathing deeply and flailing her hands, attempting to lower her stress levels and avoid a random shutdown.

Scarlet, still laughing slightly, rubbed her hand on Cinder's back. "Come _on_ Cinder, you and Kai love each other; what's the big deal if some people write about it?"

"It's _creepy_ ," Kai replied, moving to Cinder's other side to comfort her as well. "I mean, what if people wrote about you and Wolf?"

"They do," Iko replied in a small voice. Wolf, who had previously been muttering with Cress about how insane their friends were, turned to the android. She held up her portscreen, pointing to the file that was labeled "Wolflet."

Thorne practically pounced on her, eagerly scrolling through all of the stories that Iko had saved. " _This_ one looks interesting," Thorne dramatically announced, avoiding Scarlet's attempts to snatch the device out of his hands. "Scarlet pulled herself to her knees and then moved so she was facing Wolf, sitting back on her heels. 'So I've been meaning to ask you something.'" He imitated Scarlet with an obnoxiously high pitched voice.

"Thorne!" Scarlet's voice sounded more desperate that warning, and she cast a pleading glance at Wolf. He froze, unsure of what to do.

"Uh… so what do you want to ask me?"

Scarlet moaned while Thorne chuckled, answering his question by reading more of the story. "'Ze'ev…' Her voice trailed off and he quirked an eyebrow, his gaze intense upon her, curious. 'Will you marry me?'"

Scarlet and Wolf turned as red as her hair while Thorne laughed hysterically, saying "I guess we know who wears the pants in the relationship! Thank you, Andromeda Writes!"

"Oh, so you think a girl can't propose?" Scarlet snapped, catching Thorne off guard.

"Er, no, not necessarily…"

She turned to Wolf. "What about you, Ze'ev? Do you have a problem with it?"

"And I thought I let _my_ imagination run away with me," Cress muttered to herself.

"No, i-it's fine," he started, raising his hands in a calming manner, "but I kinda imagined it being me who proposed. You know, eventually."

"Yeah, but what if I get sick of waiting for you to build up the courage and do it? Does that mean I just have to sit idly by instead of taking action?" She raised an eyebrow, her hands on her hips.

"Uh…" Wolf looked like a deer in the headlights. He swiveled around to Kai and Thorne, but their faces were as blank as his. Cinder and Cress were too busy nodding at their friend encouragingly for him to catch their eye. Sweat beaded up on his forehead. "So, I guess I'll just…" He awkwardly bent down on one knee.

Amidst Cress's gasp, Iko's squeals, and everyone else's confusion, Scarlet yelled, "ZE'EV FOR STARS SAKE THAT WASN'T A HINT FOR YOU TO PROPOSE!"

"Thank you!" He scrambled back onto his feet, awkwardly fumbling with his hands before folding them across his chest.

"Guys, let's just forget the fanfiction thing," Iko reasoned. "Cress downloaded a first era movie called Cinderella; it sounds pretty interesting!"

"Oh hell no!" Everyone turned to Cinder in surprise. "Thorne tortured all of us; now it's his turn." She strode up to the Captain, smirking evilly. "There was another file in there, and it was labeled Cresswell. Have a guess as to what that means?"

In one swift motion she snatched the portscreen out of his hands, throwing it across the room to Kai. "Angel2203 wrote a lovely chapter about singing in the shower in one of her stories; shall we read it?" Kai was normally a more reserved and gentlemanly person, but in this particular situation he was perfectly fine with being overdramatic.

They all had one common goal; making Thorne squirm.

Clearing his throat with a little more gusto than necessary, he began to read. "Cress, with her beautiful singing voice, loved to go full out on it. Her voice reached each note perfectly and she always did a little bow at the end of every song she sang. _Thorne_ …" Kai elongated the word, smirking when he tried to hide his reddening face with an eye roll, "would always listen outside of the bathroom door to listen. Cinder would always say 'creep' when she walked past him."

They all- not including the stammering Thorne and blushing Cress- burst out laughing, Cinder being the loudest of the bunch. "IT'S SO TRUE!" She wheezed, dropping onto the floor.

"That would be weird," Thorne murmured, not daring to look Cress in the eye.

Scarlet suddenly jumped to her feet. "HE DIDN'T DENY IT!" This resulted in a childish chorus of "OHHH"'s from the rest of them.

"Now that I think about it," Cress said, silencing the rest of them, "he did walk in on me singing at the hotel." She met his uncomfortable gaze, raising an eyebrow.

Basically, Thorne got rekt. I'll spare you the embarrassing aftermath.

After all of the excitement died down, they all decided to never mention or explore the idea of fanfiction ever again. It was just too weird for them to handle. Iko even agreed to delete her stories off of her portscreen.

But they would all be lying if the denied that that night, they all took a little extra peek on some fanfiction websites. They maybe even favorited a story or two.

~o0o~

 **A/N: The Kaider fanfiction was** _ **Jealousy**_ **by lovlunarchron**

 **The Wolflet fanfiction was** _ **A Modest Proposal**_ **by Andromeda Writes**

 **The Cresswell fanfiction was** _ **Random days on the Rampion**_ **by angel2203**

 **All three are really great stories; you guys should check them out!**


	6. Road Trip AU Part 2

**A/N: I don't know if it was the topic of the last chapter or the fact that I mentioned I really appreciated reviews, but y'all were SUPER responsive and amazing! Thank you so much!**

 **This is the next part for the road trip AU, and seriously, I am in love with this chapter! PLEASE PLEASE READ IT! I just kept smiling like a fool while writing it XD I really hope you guys enjoy it as much as I did!**

 **I do not own the Lunar Chronicles**

~o0o~

"UPTOWN FUNK YOU UP! UPTOWN FUNK YOU UP!"

Not even 10 minutes into the trip Thorne began blasting the radio, so they naturally all joined in for a sing along. Even Wolf, who claimed to hate today's repetitive pop music, managed to join in for a chorus or two. Scarlet mentally noted that he knew every single word to Blank Space.

At one point Iko pulled out her camera and began recording their experience, passing it around to every individual in the car and asking them how they thought the trip was going to go so they could look back on it later.

"Well, I think it's going to be great because my amazing girlfriend planned it out," Kai shouted, trying to raise his voice over everyone else's singing. Cinder attempted to suppress her grin, looking down at the floor.

"I just hope everything goes well," she said. Unknowingly, she began stroking her ring finger.

"I don't know if this will top the nude beach," Thorne crowed once Cress pointed the camera at him. "That was pretty sick. But hey, first stop is Italian food!"

"We turned back the moment we saw the sign," Cress reassured the camera, turning it towards herself.

"Yeah, but not before we saw that one guy with the hairy chest and the _huge-"_

"Captain!"

"-Nose, Cress. I was _going_ to say nose." He smirked at his flustered girlfriend, daring to take one hand off of the wheel to rub her shoulder. She had placed her hand on her chest, closing her eyes and breathing deeply.

"Hey, at least it was a man he noticed," Wolf offered from the backseat.

"I'm personally excited for the night when we're camping out," Cress quickly added, determined to desert the current subject. "A night under the stars sounds _wonderful_."

"We could be out there in the pouring rain and you'd still be happy," Thorne mumbled, smiling to show that he was joking.

The camera was then passed back to Scarlet. "I haven't heard much about the places that Cinder has planned," she started, "but _nothing_ can be worse to this idiot breaking a few ribs and his wrist over a stupid comment."

"He was being a jerk. I'd do it again if he were right here."

"Don't be so serious, Ze'ev." Scarlet nudged him with her elbow, smirking. "Besides, you know I totally could have kicked his ass."

"True."

The exchanged knowing grins before Wolf took the camera himself. "We'll have fun," he said briefly, promptly handing it back to Iko. She thanked him, pointed it down while she adjusted her hair, and then pointed it at herself.

"Yeah, this trip is going to be a blast! At first I wanted it to be my turn this year, but I had, like, zero ideas, so it's good that it's Cinder's turn. I just hope that we won't get bored because we're driving so mu- OH MY STARS I LOVE THIS SONG!"

Iko promptly shut off the camera and began screaming "DON'T YOU DARE LOOK BACK, JUST KEEP YOUR EYES ON ME!" at the top of her lungs. They all joined in, each doing their own weird interpretations of dancing. Even Thorne managed to bob his head in rhythm with the music while driving.

At that moment, life couldn't have been any better.

~o0o~

The drive to Levana's Italian Bistro was only a few hours long, but all seven of them felt cramped and sweaty from spending too much time in the car, so they stopped at a rest station to freshen up and change clothes. It was a fairly fancy restaurant, so it probably wouldn't be best if they showed up in sweaty sweats with bedhead and no makeup.

"Glad we're getting dressed up in style," Scarlet murmured, discreetly glancing over at a woman wrangling three children in the corner of the bathroom.

Cinder followed her gaze and winced sympathetically. "Hey, at least we don't have to do this in a moving car."

"Agreed," Iko chirped, layering on her mascara. "How fancy is this joint, anyway?"

"I researched it online. It's supposed to be one of the best in the country," Cress commented, stepping into heels that still didn't bring her up to eye level with any of the other girls. "There were no complaints about the food."

"But there _were_ complaints?" Scarlet met her gaze in the mirror when she said this, swiping on some lipstick in the process.

"It was weird," Cress said, furrowing her brow. "At first I ignored any negative comments because of the place's high ratings, but there were too many to dismiss. It was mainly about the service."

"What, are they rude? If they make any comments about how many meatballs I eat I'm socking them in the face," Iko threatened, waving around her hairbrush like a weapon.

"The comments mentioned that the owner was super creepy and you could hear her screaming at people in the kitchen, too. I just don't understand why this place hasn't been investigated for violence issues."

"Money takes care of things like that," Cinder sighed. She had long since given up on doing anything remotely fancy with her hair and just settled with putting it down. She wasn't any fashion expert, but a limp ponytail probably wouldn't cut it in a fancy restaurant.

"The food is good, so we shouldn't worry," Scarlet reassured.

Iko just laughed in response. "You sound more and more like your boyfriend every day."

~o0o~

Cinder walked up to the front table, thankful she decided on wearing flats. She probably would have struggled with keeping an authoritative look about her while wobbling in high heels.

She gave a half smile to the host, dropping it when he blatantly examined the quality of her clothes. She was wearing a simple black dress that she bought two days ago from Target, but it was a _dress_ for star's sake! That was fancy enough in her book.

Gesturing to her friends, she tersely said, "We have a reservation."

"Under what name?" His voice was both nasally and monotone at the same time. What a charmer.

"Linh." She raised her chin, looking him dead in the eye.

With the speed of an elderly woman driving on the highway, he began flipping through the list, eyes drooping with what appeared to be both exhaustion and boredom. "I don't see a Linh on my sheet."

Her heart froze. "Could you check again?"

He sighed loudly, as if she was inconveniencing him. A quick glance over her shoulder showed that there was no one else waiting in line.

"Cinder Lihn? Party of seven?"

She fluttered her eyes shut, relieved. This trip still had a chance.

"Yes."

"Right this way."

Their table was situated in the corner of the restaurant, which Cinder liked. It gave them both a sense of privacy and the ability to observe their surroundings. The bistro had a modern look, with swanky art framed on the walls and sleek black tables surrounded by surprisingly comfortable red chairs. The lights were dim, but still bright enough to look someone in the eye and have a conversation with them. The people were dressed similarly to themselves, but you could sort out the people who were there just for the experience and the ones who were having a regular Saturday meal with their friends and families.

"This place _is_ nice," Iko squealed, lowering her voice to an acceptable decibel. "Look, the spaghetti is fifty dollars!"

"Why does good food have to punch you in the wallet," Wolf grumbled, obviously uncomfortable in his suit. His sleeves were too short and his tie hung loose around his neck, but there was no way anyone in the restaurant would dare point that out to him. He could wear a short pink dress with a silver tiara and still look intimidating.

"Don't worry, I wouldn't take us here if I wasn't willing to pay," Cinder reassured. "Get whatever you want."

"Even if I want the 150 dollar lobster dish?" Thorne smirked when Cinder rolled her eyes. "Just kidding, sweetheart. I'll get something else." He nudged Cress, who was no doubt looking for the cheapest option out of courtesy for Cinder. "Hey, you like Disney movies, right? Why don't we split some spaghetti and go _Lady and the Tramp_ style with it?"

Iko gripped Cress's shoulders, her worries about her voice level instantly disappearing. "OMG do it! I'm totally instagramming this!"

"S-sure, that's fine," Cress stuttered, flushing. Her smile didn't go unnoticed, though.

"Congrats, Thorne. You finally found a girl who responds to your cheesy ideas of romance." Kai smirked, showing that his banter was meant to be friendly.

He grinned, wrapping an arm around her. "What can I say? She's my lucky star."

"Excuse me, sir?" They all averted their attention to an employee who looked pretty annoyed that they had to address Thorne as "sir."

"Yeah?"

"I'm going to have to ask you to remove your arm."

Thorne blinked, obviously surprised by the words that came out of his mouth. "Uhh… remove my arm from my girlfriend?"

"Yes. Remove your arm from your…" he scanned Cress up and down with his eyes, noting her height and youthful features, "…girlfriend." This action only made his arm tighten around her.

"May I ask why?" His tone was bordering on sarcastic.

"We have a rule here at Levana's; no PDA. It makes the rest of the customers uncomfortable."

Thorne made a big show of looking around the room. "Uhh, I hate to burst your bubble, but I don't see any elderly ladies shaking their canes at my arm resting on Cress's shoulder."

The man grit his teeth. Cress, getting the hint, quietly said, "it's fine, Captain. We should follow the policy."

Thorne looked prepared to fight this tooth and nail, but one look at Cress's pleading eyes made him drop it. "Alright, fine." He retracted his arm, discreetly resting it on her knee instead.

Smirking at his victory, the waiter whipped out a pad of paper and a pen. "My name is Aimery, and I will be your waiter this evening. What drinks are you interested in?" He spoke as if the previous events hadn't occurred.

Everyone stared at him for a bit, trying to comprehend their bad luck. Iko, always helpfully oblivious to awkward situations, broke the silence. "I'll have a water, please!"

They had all agreed beforehand to get water because the bill was going to be so pricy, even though Cinder insisted that they order whatever they wanted. Aimery seemed unimpressed with their choice of drink, doing everything in his power not to roll his eyes.

"I'll have three bottles of vodka," Thorne deadpanned when it was his turn. It was hard to tell if he was joking or not. Cinder kicked him under the table, causing him to grimace.

"Make that a glass of water. Geez, Cinder, your foot is practically made of metal," he muttered under his breath.

Aimery stiffly closed his notepad. "Excellent choice, sir, especially considering the fact that your girlfriend is probably too young to drink anyway." He promptly left the table.

Both Wolf and Kai had to hold Thorne down as the waiter walked away. "I'm not as young as I look," Cress muttered forlornly.

"Can't we request a different waiter?" Thorne said this through clenched teeth, which made everyone nervous. Thorne wasn't one to get mad easily.

"Let's just thank our lucky stars it isn't Ze'ev this time, or else we'd be kicked out of her in minutes," Scarlet whispered to Cinder.

"Thorne, just ignore him," Kai reassured. "So what if he's a snob? It'll just make this evening that much more interesting." Cinder flashed him a grateful smile.

"Besides, he's probably just a crotchety single person who can't stand to see happy couples," Wolf snorted.

Thorne huffed. "Alright. But I better be getting some damn good spaghetti."

They all shut up when Aimery arrived again, distributing their water glasses and taking their orders. Thorne managed to grin and bear it when he insisted on bringing a separate plate for the spaghetti he and Cress were splitting. "Remember, we want to keep things PG," he sniffed.

"That freaking movie was G," Thorne later told the rest of the group.

After he left their table for the second time, the mood seemed to brighten immensely. They were able to relax and have an actual conversation, which was something they hadn't been able to do for a while due to job complications and the general chaos of their lives. There was an unspoken rule in that moment; nothing heavy or work-related was going to be discussed. So instead they spoke of more trivial matters, like how Scarlet was intent on adopting a dog and whether or not Iko should change her hair color. Everything was right in the world once more.

And then the food came.

Aimery was a little less smug than usual when he distributed the plates across the table, probably because behind him stood a hostile looking woman. She appeared to be beautiful on first inspection, but if you looked closely you could pick out the false eyelashes, spray-tanned skin, contoured cheeks, and silicone-injected lips, which were stretched in a fake looking smile.

"Hello, my name is Levana, and I'm the owner of this establishment. Are you all enjoying yourselves this evening?"

Cinder, not quite sure why she was approaching them but always one to be polite, said, "Yes, thank you. We've heard that the food here is supposed to be excellent."

Levana seemed disinterested at her reply, and her eyes kept flitting towards Kai. "Mmm-hmm, it is, yes. Now _you_ ," she now directly addressed Kai, "I recognize. Aren't you a state senator?"

"Yes, I am," Kai replied, slightly confused that she would recognize him despite being from an entirely different state. 

"We go through our reservation list and note any more important people who come," Levana explained with a brief wave of her hand. "Word on the street is that you're considering running for president." Her eyes took on a malicious glint. Kai squirmed in his seat.

"Well, er, that's something I'd wait several years to pursue, once I get settled down-"

"Settled down? Like marriage?"

"Yes, but even then I may not-"

"I'll make this easy for you. I'm wealthy, attractive, and will be the perfect first lady as well as vice president." In a hushed tone she added to Aimery, "Vice president takes control if the president dies, right?"

All seven stared aghast at Levana's directness. Cinder's fist was already forming around the wrench she carried with her in her purse.

Normally, Kai did everything in his power to be as polite as possible, and he had experience with letting girls down. In this situation, however, he was so taken by surprise that he could only weakly croak, "I have a girlfriend."

Cinder raised her hand, not quite sure what expression to have in this scenario. Sure, she was pissed, but Levana had to be embarrassed after being shot down so directly. Then again, a woman this forward and demanding maybe didn't deserve any sympathy.

Levana eyed Cinder, from her stringy hair to her scuffed-up flats. "She's expendable."

Wolf choked on his drink.

Iko dropped her fork.

Thorne's jaw fell open, a strand of spaghetti falling out.

Now Cinder was on her feet. "Ex _cuse_ me?"

"Cinder isn't _expendable_!" Kai, shutting his eyes to maintain his composure, cut off whatever Levana was going to say with a terse, "I think you should leave our table, now."

At this point the entire restaurant was watching them, their expressions ranging from awe to horror.

Ignoring Kai's request, Levana continued to speak. "Look, you're the best potential candidate I've seen in a long time. People love you. Now, what do you want? Money? I have that." She was leaning far too close for comfort now, her hand resting suggestively on Kai's thigh. He froze.

"Now _that's_ PDA," Thorne muttered.

"Levana," Kai started, struggling to keep his tone even, "I appreciate the interest but I'm very happy with my girlfriend Cinder." Cinder slowly sat back down in her chair as Levana retracted her hand from Kai.

"Alright. You've made your decision. Levana began to walk away. "But perhaps this will change your mind."

In an instant she spun around, crashing her lips forcefully onto Kai's.

And that's when all hell broke loose.

Cinder, wielding her wrench and shouting a fierce battle cry, tackled Levana onto the ground. Kai just stood there, touching his lips with an expression of horror on his face. Some of the guests had started to scream, and Aimery promptly began calling for security through his walkie-talkie.

It was when the hulking men in suits poured in, forcefully grabbing Cinder's arms and dragging her away from a triumphant Levana that Kai snapped into action.

"Let go of her!" Kai shoved one of the guards off of Cinder, and she kicked the other one in the shin, satisfied when he howled in pain. Eyes flashing, the two guards approached them with a not-so-gentle attitude. "I didn't really think this through," Kai muttered, taking a defensive stance in front of his girlfriend.

The rest of the gang found themselves in tight spots as well. Iko was darting around the table, evading one particular security member. She had pulled her camera out at some point, and was shouting the play-by-play of the fights around her with too much enthusiasm.

"And over there Kai is punching the guard who knocked Cinder to the ground- OOOH that is going to leave a bruise! Whoops, got distracted; the dude who's chasing me almost grabbed my hair. If he weren't so rude I'd totally hit on him, he's pretty cute…"

Wolf remained surprisingly calm once the fighting broke out. He simply scooped Scarlet up bridal style before setting her up on the bar, silencing her protests with a firm look. The bartender and the customers seated there then watched in awe as he flung off his jacket and began taking on security guards by the handful, not even breaking a sweat.

"Stars, I love him," Scarlet murmured, sending him a thumbs-up when he looked her way.

Thorne thanked his lucky stars for those few months of military training, because they were certainly going to come in handy in that moment. A particularly large brute headed straight towards Cress and himself. Blue eyes wide, Cress whispered, "Captain, should we run for the door?"

He smirked, pulling her into a side hug and burying his nose in her hair "Oh, my dear, sweet Cress. Have you forgotten that your boyfriend just happens to be a fighting master?" He released her, about to face the guy, but he frowned. "Hey… stay behind me, okay?" He added in a more serious tone. She smiled, pecking him on the cheek in response.

"Go get him, Captain."

At this point some of the customers had called the police, outraged by the display. Iko overheard one of them doing so, and called out, "GUYS, WE MIGHT WANT TO WRAP THIS UP SOON!" Lowering her voice, she turned back to the security guard. "Yeah, my number is 555…"

Wolf was still going strong by the bar, being as quick as he possibly could when he knocked someone out. The customers over there drunkenly cheered each time a guard went down, and Scarlet would occasionally throw out bits of trash talk. "What, you call that a punch? Compared to Z's strength that's like trying to knock down a mountain by blowing on it! And you over there, you call those arms! Those are thinner than the pasta noodles I ate for dinner!"

Yeah, she was a proud wife. It was hard to believe that she once frowned upon his fighting career.

Cinder and Kai were definitely not as strong as the two men, but they were smarter and faster. They backed them to a corner before simultaneously- Kai with a bottle of wine and Cinder with her wrench- knocked them out. Cinder collapsed in a nearby chair, breathing heavily.

"Well this was a disaster," she moaned. Kai smiled, wrapping his arms around her from behind.

"Yeah. We planned to only drink water this evening to save money, but I just wasted a perfectly good and probably expensive bottle of wine."

Cinder laughed before suddenly freezing, the blood draining from her face. "Kai… how much is this disaster going to cost?"

She felt him stiffen behind her. "Oh. I didn't think about that."

Yep. They were screwed.

It took him a while, but Thorne eventually took down the guard with a firm blow to the stomach, knocking the wind out of him. He spun around, flashing a cocky grin in Cress's direction.

Except Cress wasn't there.

The blood drained from his face. "Cress? Cress!" He frantically searched the room before he spotted her struggling in Aimery's arms several yards away from him. Even from the distance at which he stood he could see the bruise blossoming along her jaw.

With a furious yell that made some of the onlookers screech with surprise, he charged towards them, determined to break every bone in the waiter's body.

He was only feet away, arms outstretched and ready for action, when Aimery and Cress suddenly collapsed to the ground. She backed away from him as he groaned in pain, only to be swiftly lifted up by Thorne.

"Captain!"

"Cress." His fingers brushed the bruise on her face before moving up to smooth back her hair. "Cress, are you okay? What happened to him?"

She was trembling slightly, and he held her tighter against him. "N-no, I'm fine, I was just s-s-scared because he came out of nowhere, and Scarlet told me that if something like this ever happens I just had to hit him in the… well…" She blushed, averting her eyes from the floor.

Thorne was confused. "Hit him where?"

"You know… his s _pecial spot_." Her face was burning now.

Realization creeped onto Thorne's face. He was smiling at both the thought of what had just occurred and Cress's adorable reluctance to say certain words.

"You hit him in the crotch?" He confirmed, beaming when she nodded bashfully. In one swift movement he lifted her up onto a table, ignoring the protesting customers who were seated around it, before standing up on it himself.

"EVERYONE, MY GIRLFRIEND JUST KICKED A GUY IN THE NUTS!" He then scooped her into his arms and kissed her with more vigor than he ever had before, cherishing the cheers (and several exasperated protests) from surrounding customers. After a while they pulled away, both gasping for air.

"How's that for PDA," Thorne shot at Aimery, who was still holding his crotch and moaning.

Iko ran up to their table. "Okay, you two, first of all that was AWESOME and I caught it all on camera! Second of all we kinda have to go now." She gestured towards the door, where the others were already waiting.

"Right." Thorne jumped off the table before lending Cress an arm- which she gratefully accepted- to lower herself down as well.

"I didn't know you had that in you," Scarlet teased, nudging Cress with her elbow. She just smiled shyly in response.

"Let's just go before we cause any more trouble." With that Cinder swung open the door, only to reveal a rather angry looking policeman. All of the noise- the shouts and cheers from customers, the moans from security guards, Levana's furious screeching- stopped. It was completely silent.

The cocked an eyebrow at the disaster in front of him before giving a stern glare to the seven young adults.

"Actually, I'm going to have to ask you all to stay a little while."

~To be continued


	7. Prank War Part 1

**A/N: Yeah, I know, I took forever and a half to update. Sorry about that! I've been crazy busy this week, finishing up an online class and helping out with my high school's freshman orientation. School starts this Wednesday for me :/**

 **Again, y'all are amazing for reading and reviewing! Every single comment puts a huge smile on my face**

 **I've looked back on my previous chapters, and I have SO MANY MISTAKES! I'm thinking about taking a month off from writing and just editing all that I've already written, but we'll see…**

 **This chapter was suggested EmberLafonte: PRANK WAR! If you guys have any suggestions for pranks they can pull, let me know ! :D**

 **I do not own the Lunar Chronicles**

~o0o~

Thorne's fake-blindness gag had been the last straw for Scarlet.

Sure, Cinder totally assaulted him with a variety of tools the moment she found out when she returned- _especially_ when she saw the stash of Kai pictures he had bribed Iko with- but that wasn't enough. She thought he was about to light himself on _fire_ , for star's sake!

It wasn't just that, though. The minute Scarlet got back on the Rampion after her long, horrifying stay on Luna she had been bombarded by prank after prank after prank… She had lost count after 39. Some were fairly trivial, like jumping out from behind the couch and screaming a random phrase (he would then proceed to laugh hysterically, regardless if the victim reacted or not). Others were more intense, like when he set off the Rampion's alarm system and yelled, "FIIIRE!"

Yeah. She was not amused. She realized it was a joke _after_ she burst out of the bathroom, clad in nothing but a towel.

It wasn't until Scarlet bumped into Cress while aimlessly roaming around that the idea of revenge fully developed in her head. Sweet, innocent Cress was her key to getting inside information on her target.

"Spades, I'm starting to sound like a serial killer," Scarlet muttered.

Cress's eyes widened. "What was that?"

"Nothing. Hey, Cress, we haven't really hung out much, have we?" She attempted to flash her a warm smile, but it could have come across as more sinister than sweet. Cress didn't seem to notice, though, so she assumed it was a success.

"That's true…" Her tone was questioning, inviting Scarlet to continue with whatever was on her mind.

"So we should talk!"

Cress blinked. This clearly wasn't what she was expecting. "Talk?"

"Yeah! As friends!"

She still seemed skeptical. "Really? You don't need me to run some background checks on Lunar authorities or anything like that?"

Scarlet felt a pang in her chest. It really did feel like there was always either some form of chaos going on or endless piles of work to be done lately, and Cress really didn't get the proper introduction to the group that she deserved. Sure, she and Cinder hung out with her a few times, but their conversations almost always looped back to the war.

Either that, or they were so hopped up on sugar that they couldn't function properly, but that was a different story…

"Actually, I do need your help. But not in the way that you'd think."

Scarlet- after safely locking Cress and herself in her room- spilled her grand idea on finally getting revenge on Thorne and practically begged Cress to help her out. At first she was reluctant, which Scarlet expected. Everyone knew that her crush on Thorne was bigger than the girl herself (which actually wasn't saying that much).

Eventually Cress agreed to help, and even though she acted nervous, Scarlet didn't miss the glint of mischief in her eyes. Perhaps a revenge prank was just what they needed to get their minds off of everything.

"So what in particular freaks Thorne out?" Scarlet adjusted herself so her legs were crossed and her chin rested on her palm. "Something embarrassing would be nice, like a secret fear of clowns.

"Clowns?" Cress wrinkled her nose at the thought. "He hasn't said anything like that to me."

"But there has to be _something_. He talks to you the most, and I doubt he lets you get many words in when he's rambling off on whatever topic his most besotted with at the moment."

Cress cocked her head to the side, chewing on the inside of her cheek. "Well… he did say one thing…"

"What?" Scarlet leaned forward eagerly. Cress flushed, a look of betrayal crossing her features.

"He mentioned something about fainting in science class his freshman year." Her words were rushed, and she flinched when Scarlet doubled over in laughter.

"OH MY STARS THAT'S _RICH_!"

Cress allowed a smile to slip on her face. "Yeah, it's pretty funny. But I told him I wouldn't tell anyone…"

"Eh, whatever. Just tell him I forced the information out of you." She flashed Cress a devilish grin, and she giggled in response.

"Anyway, he was dissecting frogs when it happened."

"He's afraid of _frogs_?"

This time Cress full-out laughed. "No, he's squeamish about the cutting process, especially when removing limbs. But he seems to be fairly okay with blood."

Scarlet's forehead knotted as she thought. "Hmm… dissected body parts…" Like a slow shadow creeping across a room, a look of malice spread across her features. "Say, Cress, do you know if we have hot dogs?"

"What's a hot dog?"

Scarlet smirked in response. "You're about to find out."

~o0o~

"AHHHHH!"

Nothing like the shrill scream of a damsel in distress to wake you up in the morning.

Thorne bolted up at the sound, wrestling with the sheets before landing on the floor in a blanket burrito. It took another 30 seconds before he wiggled out of those and sprinted towards the sound of the scream.

Thorne couldn't help but be concerned whenever he heard these cries, even though the past few times had been busts. Iko nearly burst his eardrums when she discovered a rather large spider crawling around her room, and he still couldn't quite wrap his head around Cinder's fanfiction freakout. Cress was pretty calm throughout their time on the Rampion, though she nearly gave him a heart attack when her favorite net drama character died in a rather dramatic car crash. Thorne actually burst into her room wearing nothing but his Star Wars underpants, wielding his bedside table lamp.

Yeah, the force was not with him in that moment.

This time, fortunately, he was wearing a T-shirt along with his boxers when he scrambled toward the source of the scream, which happened to be the kitchen. The blackness of space did nothing to indicate the current time, but he guessed that it was about 7 in the morning.

He stumbled into the kitchen, freezing at the sight before him. There were eggs and potatoes sprawled out on the counter, as well as a pan heating on the stove. The only sign of the source of the scream was some faint moaning behind the counter and a few strands of red hair.

"Scarlet!" Thorne ducked behind the counter and took a sharp breathe. She was laying on her back, her forehead knotted in pain and her hair fanning out around her. She was clutching her hand, which was dripping with blood.

"Aces, Scarlet." Thorne gingerly sat her up against the counter, inspecting her hand. "Why couldn't you have just had a panic attack about T.V. stars like normal girls?"

She choked out a laugh, hissing in pain when he touched her hand.

"What happened?"

"I was chopping up potatoes for breakfast this morning, and I wasn't really paying attention..." she grimaced, unable to finish her statement.

"You weren't paying attention?" Thorne prodded.

She nodded. "Yeah, and I... I chopped off part of my pinky."

Thorne felt the blood drain from his face. He cleared his throat, awkwardly scratching his ear. "Uh... where is it?"

"Huh?"

"The, uh... finger section."

"I'm not sure... spades, my head is killing me!"

"You hit it when you fell?" Scarlet nodded numbly in response. Thorne gingerly ran his fingers on her scalp, searching for a bump or bruise. "You may have a concussion. We should call the others over here; I'm pretty sure Iko has medical information on her hard drive."

Using his arm for assistance, she unsteadily rose to her feet.

"Oh, there's my finger. "

Thorne suddenly felt unsteady himself. "W-where?"

"Here." She shoved the object in his mouth, blood and all.

The kitchen disappeared.

Scarlet was no longer beside him.

There was no longer a war.

Nothing existed

Except for

The freaking

Bloody

Finger

In

Is

Mouth.

And then there was nothing.

~o0o~

"Captain?"

"Hey, Thorne? You okay?"

"Guys, move your heads! I'm trying to record, here!"

Thorne fluttered his eyes open. A few faces swam in his vision, a particularly concerned one situated in the center. She was leaning down towards him, blonde locks framing her face like a halo.

"Are you an angel?" He murmered. Well, that's what he meant to say, but it came out as "Aryuh en enjeel?"

He slowly sat up, head fuzzy. His words were garbled because there was something in his mouth. But what was it…

His eyes widened. It all came rushing back to him.

With a less than manly scream, he ripped the finger out of his mouth and flung it across the room, shoving his head under the sink and rinsing off his tongue.

Scarlet was bursting with laughter now, tears forming in her eyes. "Spades, this is perfect! Iko, are you getting all of this?"

Iko grinned, nodding as she directed her camera over at the laughing redhead.

"It was a _hotdog_ , Thorne," Cinder confirmed, fighting a smile when he bumped his head on the faucet while trying to escape from under it.

"And the blood was a mixture of jam and ketchup," Scarlet added.

"A _hotdog_? But your hand-" Thorne stopped himself, taking a sharp inhale of breath. "Your finger was cut off in Luna, and I'm an idiot," he deadpanned.

"Yeah, that sounds about right."

Thorne stormed over to Scarlet, who casually leaned against the table behind her. "Aw, don't get too mad, or you may faint again. The work my partner and I put will go to waste if you're unconscious during the aftermath."

He spluttered, scrambling for words like a person may scramble for footholds while falling off a cliff. "But y-y-you, and I mean, I thought you were _hurt_ , and t-then you just _shove_ it in my mouth… wait, who worked with you?" He glared accusingly at Iko, who raised her hands in defense.

"Hey, I'm just the recorder!"

"Then it must've been you!" Thorne dramatically waved his finger at Wolf, who remained impassive. "If you didn't know it was a prank then you would have had a panic attack and rush to Scarlet's rescue the moment she screamed!"

Wolf shrugged, as nonchalant as ever. "She told me about it beforehand, but I didn't help. I'm not really the pranking type."

Thorne scoffed, throwing his hands up in the air. "Well if it wasn't you two, then who was it? Kai's too much of a pansy to do anything like that, and Cinder isn't exactly the fun type."

Kai looked mildly offended, placing his hands on his hips. "I'll have you know that Torin and I pull pranks on each other all the time!

"Like what?" Thorne crossed his arms, challenging him.

"Well, once I filled his shoes with baby marshmallows, and that was pretty hilarious!" He chuckled for a moment before frowning. "He didn't wear those shoes that day, actually."

"And I can be fun!" Cinder interjected. "Iko, tell him I can be fun!"

Iko sucked in her cheeks, suddenly very interested in staring at the floor.

Thorne shook his head in disgust, wrapping an arm around Cress. "Aces, you guys are just awful. I feel like Cress is the only one I can trust on this entire freaking ship!"

Scarlet snorted. Cress squirmed.

"Um, Captain?"

Thorne turned to her. "Yes?"

"I was Scarlet's partner."

Thorne blinked once. Twice. "Um… what?"

"I was Scarlet's partner." She spoke with firmly and with confidence, but her eyes betrayed her nervous feelings. Thorne slowly retracted his arm from her, silently demanding an explanation. Cress released a breath and continued. "Scarlet wanted revenge for all the pranks you've been pulling, and I helped her by telling the frog-dissecting story. I thought it would be fun."

"Oh." The singly syllable sounded hollow. Cress stared at him, biting her lip. He stepped away from the group, looking out one of the windows with his hands in his pockets.

"Well you know what this means, then." He spoke in monotone.

"…What?" Scarlet sounded less sure of herself than she did when Thorne was coughing up hotdog earlier. Everyone else appeared to be just as uncomfortable.

Slowly, Thorne turned around, a mischievous glint lighting his eyes. "War. Consider yourselves the targets of my pranking mastery!"

~To be continued


	8. Texting

**A/N: Hey guys! School starts in two days, so this will be the last post for a while** **I think I'll go back and edit previous chapters in the meantime. Thanks again for all of the positive feedback, you guys rock! I still can't express how happy it makes me reading your comments!**

 **This chapter is all humor and not much content; I just had fun writing it** **Cinder and the gang are texting on a mission, and not everyone is taking it seriously…**

 **I do not own the Lunar Chronicles**

Cinder: Alright, are all of your phones working?

Iko: Yep!

Kai: Yes

Scarlet: Yes

Wolf: yeajh

Cress: Yes

Thorne: No

Cinder: Thorne now is not the time for jokes

Thorne: I wanted the blue one

Wolf: too bad called it1

Cinder: GUYS

Thorne: Fine I'll accept this orange piece of garbage

Cinder: Good. Now I want all of you to repeat your jobs for this part of the operation.

Iko: OMG WE ALREADY DID THIS LIKE 987234509 TIMES ON THE RAMPION

Thorne: ^^^

Scarlet: Come on guys let's just do this so we can move on

Wolf: i aagree

Thorne: If you're going to get the blue one atleast type properly

Wolf: fngers too big7

Kai: *at least

Scarlet: BURN

Cinder: Guys, we're getting off track here!

Cress: I'm supposed to go to the control room and disable the cameras

Cinder: Thank you Cress! Who's next?

Thorne: What was the mission again?

Cinder: ARE YOU SERIOUS

Cinder: I WILL STRANGLE YOU

Cinder: THORNE I SPECIFICALLY TOLD YOU TO LISTEN TO ME

Thorne: No need to shout

Cinder: Just appreciate the fact that we're all in different locations or else you'd be bleeding right now

Kai: Cinder just breathe it's alright he's probably joking

Cress: Captain, you should probably stop distracting Cinder now, she's really nervous

Cress: Sorry if that sounded pushy

Cinder: Thanks Kai I'm okay now

Thorne: Fine I'll stop

Scarlet: O.O

Iko: ;)

Scarlet: LOL so true

Cinder: What

Scarlet: Just you and Kai and Cress and Thorne… ;)

Kai: We should probably get back to the mission

Iko: He is SOO blushing right now!

Cinder: Guys he's right we need to focus

Scarlet: ;)

Cinder: STOP THAT

Thorne: Now whose bugging Cinder?

Kai: *Who's

Thorne: DOES IT MATTER

Cress: Maybe we should delay the mission…

Cinder: No let's just get this over with. You guys don't have to list all your jobs, let's just do this

Thorne: Okay don't get mad but I wasn't kidding when I said I didn't know what we were doing

Cinder: Cress explain it to him I'm afraid my mechanical hand will destroy the phone if I attempt to respond

Cress: Okay

Cress: We're sneaking into the palace to steal the official documents that can prove Cinder is the rightful heir; we can use them as proof when she publicly announces true identity

Thorne: Cool so why am I the only one in the Rampion

Wolf: ur the drivert

Thorne: What? You guys do all the cool stuff and I just drive?

Wolf: thats whty i get the bleu onr

Thorne: But Cinderrrrrr!

Cinder: You should've listened to the plan and maybe you'd get to do something different

Thorne: Cress needs a partner! I can do computer stuff! I took a typing class in middle school!

Cress: Uh…

Cinder: No.

Cress: Thanks, but I think I got it

Iko: #REJECTED

Kai: Why did you include a pound sign in your text, Iko?

Scarlet: OH MY STARS

Iko: LSHMSFOAIDMT

Scarlet: Wait, what?

Iko: Laughing so hard my sombrero fell off and I dropped my taco!

Thorne: Speaking of tacos

Cinder: Don't say it

Thorne: I'm hungry

Cinder: THORNE

Wolf: me too

Scarlet: We're just going to ignore the fact that Kai doesn't know what a hashtag is?

Kai: A what?

Iko: Tweeting this!

Kai: Tweeting?

Scarlet: Stop. Just stop.

Cinder: That is kinda sad, Kai

Thorne: OOOOOoooooOOOOOOHHHH! XD

Kai: Okay we're supposed to be attacking the Lunars not me

Cress: …

Cinder: …

Kai: That came out wrong

Wolf: so notacos?/

Thorne: Well I could make some seeing the fact that I'll be oN HERE FOR HOURS ALONE

Scarlet: Build a bridge and get over it

Thorne: you know maybe I can since I haVE SO MUCH FREAKING TIME

Wolf: i want chiken on mien

Thorne: I'M NOT MAKING TACOS

Cress: Well, um, you won't have time to anyway

Cinder: What do you mean?

Cress: I just got an alert on my netscreen, and Levana recently ordered for the files to be moved

Cinder:

Cinder:

Cinder: WAT

Cinder: NNO THEY CANT DO THAT THATHSK N OT FAIR

Kai: Cinder breathe

Cinder: WHAT ARE TYOU TAKLING ABOUT IM FIEN

Kai: Cinder you'll shutdown

Cinder: IDONTKNOEWHY THETYTDBDUDTHT

Kai: Cinder?

Cinder: Ibrokethespacebar

Wolf: …so can we maek tacos/?

~o0o~

Thorne: I'm so bored

Thorne: Bordey bored bored

Thorne: Anyone else up?

Thorne: Cress?

Thorne: Creeeeeees

Thorne: CREEEEES

Thorne: CRESS I'M BORED

Kai: Thorne

Thorne: You're not Cress

Kai: It's 3 in the morning

Kai: What's wrong with you

Thorne: Cress is more feminine

Kai: Stop

Thorne: And more attractive

Thorne: And doesn't have a stick up her butt

Kai: STOP

Thorne: Why

Kai: Every time you text I get an alert and it's keeping me up!

Thorne: Why don't you just turn down the volume?

Kai:

Kai: I don't know how

Thorne: BAHAHAHA

Thorne: Well in that case… :D

Kai: No please

Kai: I'm ignoring you

Thorne: H

Thorne: E

Thorne: L

Thorne: L

Thorne: O

Thorne:

Thorne: K

Thorne: A

Thorne: I

Kai: Stop

Thorne: I

Thorne:

Thorne: T

Thorne: H

Thorne: O

Thorne: U

Thorne: G

Thorne: H

Thorne: T

Thorne:

Thorne: Y

Thorne: O

Thorne: U

Kai: Yes you thought I was ignoring you okay I GET IT

Scarlet: Hey guys I'm joining the party

Kai: Why are you up, Scarlet?

Scarlet: My room is next to yours

Scarlet: You keep growling

Thorne: LOL mission accomplished

Kai: ha ha ha sooo funny

Thorne: Glad you agree

Kai: I WAS BEING SARCASTIC

Scarlet: W

Scarlet: H

Scarlet: Y

Scarlet:

Scarlet: S

Scarlet: O

Scarlet:

Scarlet: S

Scarlet: E

Scarlet: R

Scarlet: I

Scarlet: O

Scarlet: U

Scarlet: S

Scarlet: ?

Kai: NOT YOU TOO

Thorne: :D

Scarlet: :D

Wolf: cool batman referndce

Thorne: Wolf!

Scarlet: Hey Z

Kai: Please don't spam me too

Kai: I'm begging you

Wolf: k

Kai: THANK YOU

Wolf: a

Wolf: i

Wolf:

Wolf: i

Wolf: s

Wolf:

Wolf: s

Wolf: t

Wolf: u

Wolf: p

Wolf: i

Wolf: d

Kai: OH COME ON

Thorne: And the judge scores…

Scarlet: 10/10 XD

Wolf: thx scar

Cress: Hey guys

Thorne: CRESS FINALLY

Thorne: I'M BORED

Kai: Really? You seem to be having fun TORTURING ME

Scarlet: What woke you up, Cress?

Cress: I was watching net dramas and decided to check my texts

Thorne: At 3 a.m?

Cress: There was a cliffhanger!

Iko: Giiiirl I totally feel that!

Kai: I'm never going to sleep again

Wolf: lol no yu wont

Scarlet: Hey, Iko, what's up?

Iko: I was watching net dramas too because ya know androids don't sleep and then I was like omg what is that pinging noise and it was MY PHONE and I CAN'T BELIEVE no one told me we were having a giant group chat!

Thorne:… how do you type so fast

Iko: Practice :D

Cinder: Guys we have a mission tomorrow we should be sleeping

Iko: OMG CINDER HI

Scarlet: What woke you?

Cinder: I get alerts

Cinder: Like in my mind

Cinder: It's pretty distracting

Kai: Yes we should all stop and SLEEP

Thorne: But I can't sleep noooow!

Scarlet: Me neither

Wolf: same

Cress: Yeah…

Iko: I can't sleep period :D

Cinder: Ughhh…

Cinder: Fine

Thorne: Fine what?

Cinder: I'll make bacon

Cinder: Cress can set up the portscreen

Cinder: Any movie suggestions?

Scarlet: YES

Iko: CINDER ILY

Iko: ily means I love you, Kai

Kai: Thanks I appreciate that

Wolf: wht about breakfast club

Wolf: casue were eating breaksfast

Wolf: get it

Scarlet: You're hilarious, babe -_-

Wolf: thx

Cress: I haven't seen it, what's it about

Thorne: WAT

Thorne: IT'S LEGENDARY

Cress: Sorry 0.0

Thorne: Don't apologize, just sit next to me and suffer through my constant commenting :D

Scarlet: UGH Thorne don't be that guy

Thorne: Too bad, already am

Cinder: Alright let's do it

Iko: OMG pajama party :D

Wolf: we have to waear our pajames?

Scarlet: I bet you have embarrassing superhero themed jammies :3

Wolf: i sleep na ked

Scarlet: …

Iko: …

Cress: …

Cinder: …

Thorne: That's hot

Kai: Well now there's a lovely image in my head

Scarlet: Hey, that's my man you're talking about

Iko: Cinder Kai's mentally cheating on you!

Thorne: Iko, no one likes a tattle tale

Kai: OKAY GUYS THIS IS TOO WEIRD NOW

Cinder: Agreed. I'm ending this.

Cress: What do you mean, Cinder?

Cinder: No more phones. I'm taking them back.

Iko: NOOOOOOO D':

Thorne: CINDER WHYYYY

Kai: I'm okay with it

Wolf: are weh neber getting tacos

Thorne: TACOS DON'T MATTER MAN WE'RE HAVING A CRISIS HERE

Cress: I totally respect your decision, Cinder, but how will we communicate during missions?

Cinder:

Cinder: Smoke signals

Scarlet: Smoke signals? Really?

Cinder:

Cinder:

Cinder: Fine you can keep the phones

Thorne: WHOOOOOOHOOOOOOO

Iko: YAY :D

Kai: That's all fine and dandy but can we just watch the movie now?

Cinder: Good idea

Wolf: bacon tacos

Wolf: ia am a gensius

Scarlet: That's nice Z

Thorne: Dude stop by my room and I'll let you borrow some pajamas

Thorne: Please wear underwear

Wolf: no promises :P


	9. Road Trip AU Part 3

**A/N: Hey guys! I'm sorry It's taken so long for me to update :'( School has started, and the homework is already started to pile up. I'm also involved with a lot of school groups this year, so that's taking up more of my time.**

 **Honestly, I probably would have waited another week to update, but some of y'alls reviews have been SO SWEET! I love you guys**

 **Here's the continuation** **of the road trip AU! I've had so much fun with this story, I can't even explain it XD**

 **I do not own the Lunar Chronicles**

The whole restaurant fiasco took four straight hours to sort out.

The one police officer that arrived was immediately followed by three others, none of whom seemed too amused by the sea of customers and staff that swarmed them on arrival. About a quarter of the customers (most likely the regular attendees) and all of the staff complained about the disturbance the seven of them had made, while another fifty percent of the customers argued on their behalf. One man in particular who was seated in the bar during the scuffle drunkenly boasted Wolf's wrestling abilities, breaking one of the few intact tables in the process. The last 25% didn't take sides and instead demanded refunds.

Needless to say it was a busy night for the officers.

At first Levana wouldn't shut up, flailing her arms dramatically, fake-sobbing over how Kai "mercilessly broke her heart," and even resorting to flirting with one of the policemen. She suddenly grew quiet when one of the officers reviewed the tape of the incident, muttering something along the lines of "sexual harassment."

Cinder's violent actions towards Levana were definitely not ignored, however. After some embarrassed stuttering from her and calm delegating from Kai, it was decided that charges would be dropped on both sides as long as Cinder and the rest of them never set foot at Levana's ever again and paid part of the cost for the broken furniture and wine bottles (it was agreed that they were responsible for about half the damage). Levana didn't want the skirmish to go public, so the idea of a lawsuit was completely shut down.

"I don't see why we have to pay anything," Thorne muttered, childishly crossing his arms in front of his chest. Everyone but Kai and Wolf, who were still talking with the policemen, was waiting in the Rampion. "I never even got to finish my food, and the spaghetti was cold anyway."

Cinder sent him a halfhearted glare. "Don't you dare complain. We're lucky that this incident isn't all over the news and we're not losing our jobs."

"That'd be cool, though."

"Thorne!"

He rose his hands up in defense. "Not the losing our jobs part! It would just be cool to be on the news. Like, I've always wondered what it would be like being a wanted criminal, venturing from country to country to escape the law…" he got a goofy grin on his face, lost in his thoughts.

"That's stupid," Scarlet deadpanned.

"You'd get caught," Iko agreed. "Like, super easily."

Thorne scoffed, dismissing them with a wave of a hand. "I don't know what you guys are talking about. I'd be an amazing criminal, right Cress?"

Cress gnawed on her lower lip, avoiding his gaze. Thorne frowned. "Cress?" he prodded.

"…well, you're not quite sneaky."

Thorne raised his eyebrows while Scarlet leaned in, amused. "What do you mean?"

Cress winced. "You know how every year we hide each other's Christmas gifts in our own apartments?"

Thorne blinked. "Uh, yeah?"

"Um… I find mine every year."

There was a solid ten seconds of silence. Then Scarlet snorted. That was enough to set Iko off, which set Cinder off, which set Scarlet off, and Thorne was just a shocked face amidst three girls' screeching laughter.

"What?! But you're always so surprised when you open them! You _loved_ the telescope I got you last year!"

"I just pretend I'm an actress playing a scene in a movie and fake it," Cress admitted, shrugging her shoulders.

"But why would youwant to know what your gift is?"

"I don't! You just put them in obvious places, like your medicine cabinet and the closet, and I _accidentally_ see them!" She paused, eyes widening as she remembered something. "In fact, two years ago you tried to hide my laptop case _in the refrigerator_. And I'm the one who cooks your meals half the time!"

This statement threw the three girls, who were just now recovering from their last laugh attack, into another fit of hysterics.

Thorne's head was now in his hands, grasping at his hair. "Why didn't you tell me?" he moaned.

"I didn't want to hurt your feelings?" Cress shrugged, obviously holding in her laughter. "Plus I was able to subtly hint at gifts I wanted if you bought me a crappy one."

"Like what?" Scarlet grabbed Cress's arm, diverting her attention. "What crappy gifts did he get?"

Cress, a ghost of a smile gracing her features, tapped her chin in thought. "Well… once he almost gave me a blow-up foot bath. I subtly convinced him to buy me this really cute necklace instead."

"A FOOT BATH!" Cinder's grin was wiped from her face, replaced with a menacing glare. "That's what you gave me for my birthday last year!"

Thorne shrunk back in his seat. "Um… oops?"

The cops considered investigating the pained screams emitting from the van, but Kai stopped them. "Thorne probably just said something stupid," He reassured. "No biggie. It happens all the time."

~o0o~

By the time they finally arrived at the hotel, they practically collapsed from exhaustion, throwing their suitcases aside and sprawling on the beds and furniture.

"Guess that was strike one." Cinder weakly chuckled at her lame attempt at a joke, kicking off her heels and grabbing a nearby pillow to cover her face. Kai plopped down next to her, allowing Cinder to rest her head in his lap while he smoothed her hair.

"It all ended up working out. Don't worry about it."

"Kai, I think you forgot that Cinder has a PHD in worrying," Thorne commented, barely dodging the pillow she flung at him.

Scarlet peeled herself off of the armchair, resting on the side of the bed. "Hey, even if this trip didn't start out great, we still have a bunch of other things to look forward to."

"And it still beats our last few vacations by a landslide," Wolf agreed, allowing a half-smile on his face. "At least this time we got some action out of it."

"Minus the hospital visits," Iko chirped from the other bed, her braided up-do reduced to a knotted blue mess. This roused a chuckle from Cinder.

"Alright, I did enjoy tackling Levana to the ground," Cinder admitted.

"And Cress freaking kicked that douchebag of a waiter in the _balls_! Are we just going to ignore that?" Thorne dramatically gestured to his girlfriend, who was covering her face with her hands to stifle her giggles.

"I caught it all on video!" Iko added, enthusiastically waving her camera in the air. This elicited a series of whoops from the group, and the uncomfortable mood hanging over them disappeared.

"By the way, I'm starving," Wolf admitted, loosening his tie. Thorne vigorously nodded in agreement.

"We could order a pizza?" Kai suggested, pulling his phone from his pocket.

"No offense, dude, but I'm sick of Italian food," Thorne groaned.

"Well, technically delivery pizza that we eat today originated-"

"Kai, do you really want to be that guy? Just order some freaking food already!"

And thirty minutes later they were surrounded by takeout containers, dresses and suits replaced with oversized T-shirts and pajama pants. There was little to no conversation, just a chorus of chewing mixed in with a few yawns. By this point it was past midnight, and they still had to get up early for the next leg of the trip.

"Alright, it's time to address the elephant in the room," Thorne admitted, tossing his takeout container in the trash and standing up. "There are two beds and seven of us. How's this going to work?"

The group silently exchanged looks. "Ze'ev and I are married," Scarlet said suppressing a smirk. "That means we should have a bed to ourselves, 'cause we have seniority."

"Yeah, but I'm the oldest in the group," Thorne reminded them. "So don't I technically have seniority?"

"Funny thing is he acts like he's twelve," Iko muttered to Cress, who giggled in response.

Cinder stood up, collecting the rest of the empty containers and addressing the entire group with an authoritative tone. "Since this trip is my responsibility, I'll make the decision. I think we should have the girls sleep in one bed and the boys in another."

"C'mon, Cinder, this isn't middle school," Thorne whined.

Iko stood up as well, placing an arm on Cinder's shoulder. "As the only single person in this group, I absolutely agree with this decision. I don't want to see you guys spooning and smooching in bed." She paused, pondering a thought for a moment. "Then again, that hot waiter did say that he was calling my tomorrow, so maybe I won't mind as much then…"

"Yeah, this is the best option," Kai agreed. "Sure, an extra hotel room with more beds would be nice, but we're already paying thousands of dollars for damages at Levana's. We don't want to push it."

With a mixture of agreement and grumbles, they all crawled into their respective beds, muttering goodnights and shutting off the lights. The room was silent, save for the slight rustle of sheets as people adjusted themselves into comfortable positions."

"…Uh, guys?"

"Shuddup, Thorne."

"But-"

"No. Sh."

"…"

"I have to pee."

~o0o~

It was about two in the morning when Kai was jolted awake, startled by one of Wolf's more guttural snores. Moaning softly, he smoothed down his hair, which was now sticking up in thick black clumps. He sat up in bed, carefully crawling over Thorne, whose legs were previously on top of him.

At first he was just going to grab some complimentary ear plugs and burrow back under the covers, but a noise in the bathroom caught his attention. He couldn't make out much with his tired eyes and with the darkness of the room, but the girls' bed appeared to have one less lump than before.

Stumbling over to the bathroom, he attempted to say "Cinder?" but it came out more like "Crndarr?"

The shuffling coming from in the bathroom paused, and the door cracked open. A small figure slipped out, though the identity of the person wasn't clear due to the darkness. "Ka-" she started, but she was cut off by another one of Wolf's loud snorts. Kai squinted, and he was able to make out a pony tail on her head. That was enough.

In three short strides he was at her side, enveloping her into his arms. She snuggled into him comfortably.

"We haven't had a minute alone together on this trip," Kai murmured, his voice a deep rumble in his throat. Cinder hummed her agreement, still pressed against him. He didn't know if it was the fact that he couldn't see her or if she was just tired of taking on responsibility, but she seemed so much smaller in that moment. Together they walked back into one of the arm chairs, still in each other's arms.

"What if they wake up?" Cinder whispered timidly, freezing against Kai. He chuckled at her sudden shyness, attributing it to her exhaustion.

"Nah, if they haven't already woken up from Wolf's snores, they never will." Cinder giggled at that, and Kai took that opportunity to swoop down and capture her lips with us. The kiss felt different than their other ones, more sweet than passionate, though Kai wasn't complaining. At one point Cinder's hands began combing through his hair before they wrapped around his neck. He tightened his grip on her waist, moving from her mouth to her jaw and peppering kisses down her neck

"Stars, I love you," he muttered against her skin, smiling when she recaptured his lips with hers, pulling him in for one more extensive kiss. It was a while before their lips parted, and at this point there was no concern for the others in the room.

"I love you too, Captain," she sighed, resting her head on his shoulder. Kai paused, laughing softly in disbelief.

"Cinder, I don't think this is the time for role play."

She stiffened against him, slowly removing her head from his shoulder. "What?"

"So were you thinking captain and flight attendant or something else? I mean, it's not really my cup of tea, but if you're up for it-"

"No, why did you call me Cinder?"

There was a pause as they both stared at each other, their vision finally adjusting to the darkness.

"We should probably move to the hallway," Kai said quietly. She nodded.

The minute the door closed, Cress started hyperventilating.

"Oh my stars, Kai, I'm so so so sorry! I was positive you were Carswell! What's he going to do when he finds out? Spades, he's going to go crazy and murder you like Guadalupe in the net drama _Wives and Lies_!"

"Cress, just _breathe_ ," Kai reasoned, though his voice took on a slight waver. He reached out his hands to comfort her, but immediately retracted them when he recalled the events that just occurred. "If it makes you feel any better, I was convinced you were Cinder by your ponytail."

"How is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"Er… I actually don't know…"

Cress sighed, pulling out her hair and nervously running her fingers through it. "So what should we do, then?"

Kai clasped his hands, shaking his head. "Honestly, I think we should just forget it."

"Forget it? Like, pretend it didn't happen?"

"Yeah. Cinder is already stressed enough about this whole trip, and this would just make things worse."

Cress chewed on her lower lip, averting her eyes to the floor. "You're right," she admitted, though her tone didn't sound too convinced. "Could we tell them eventually though? I just can't keep this from him forever."

"Of course! I don't want to promote dishonesty or anything, it's just…" Kai sighed, rubbing his hand on his face. "Look, I didn't want to tell anyone, but it's killing me and I have to say it."

Cress cocked her head to the side. "What's going on, Kai?"

"This trip is… it's important. I've been waiting for an ideal time for this to happen, and I think that time is now." He exhaled, a grin creeping across his face. "I'm going to ask Cinder to marry me."

"Oh my stars, Kai, that's amazing! I'm so happy for you two!" The awkwardness of the situation melted away, and Cress drew him in for a brief hug. "Iko was starting to worry; she bet Wolf $50 that you guys would be engaged before the summer was over."

"Thanks, Cress." His smile stayed, but his eyes were serious. "And I just feel like something like this would make that moment less special. It was an accident, of course, and Cinder and Thorne will get that, but it's still kind of awkward."

"Of course." Cress nodded firmly in agreement. "We should probably get back in there, by the way. Everyone's waking up in about three hours to head out, and we're probably going to be exhausted if we don't get some sleep."

"Right." Kai silently opened the door, gesturing for Cress to enter.

~o0o~

Cinder's phone alarm went off at the scheduled time of 5 in the morning. She yawned, falling out of bed when she attempted to get up.

"Ow," she moaned.

"You okay?" Scarlet drowsily questioned, rolling over to peer over the side of the bed. Cinder had already fallen asleep again, however, so she had to poke her in the side. "Cinder?"

"M-hmm?"

"I don't think you should drive today."

"'Kay."

Iko waltzed into the room from the bathroom, toothbrush in hand. "Dang, Cinder, that's some intense bedhead!"

Scarlet peered over at her again, laughing. "Yeah, it really is. Hey Cress," she said, nudging her sleeping form with her foot, "look at this!"

"Hmm?" Cress raised her head slowly, rubbing the sleepiness out of her eyes. "Oh, morning guys."

"Morning," Cinder replied from the floor. "Iko, how are you already up?"

"Unlike Beyoncé, I can't just wake up like this. These lashes take time." She smiled cheekily, fluttering her eyelids.

"Wus going on?" Wolf's head was suddenly peeking out under the covers, eyes half-lidded.

"Just brush your teeth and put on a shirt, babe. Oh, and Cinder, where are we going today?" Scarlet added.

"Water park. It'll be fun." She finally crawled up onto her feet, making her way to the bathroom. "Wolf, can you get Kai and Thorne up? We need to leave in twenty minutes."

"Got it." He sent a knowing glance towards Scarlet, who tossed him two extra pillows. Wielding a pillow in each fist, he simultaneously whacked both guys on the head, effectively waking them up.

"MOM IT'S SATURDAY!" Thorne screamed, flailing his limbs dramatically before freezing, aware of everyone's stares on him.

"It's Tuesday, Captain," Cress corrected, suppressing a grin.

"…Oh."

Within minutes they were all up and moving around the room, scrambling to grab their possessions that were strewn about and cramming in the bathroom to take showers and brush their teeth. Cress volunteered to go ahead and begin bringing suitcases down to the Rampion since she was already prepared, and Thorne decided to go with her.

"I feel like we haven't had a single moment together this whole time," Thorne muttered when they began loading the car. Cress shuddered at his words, which seemed far too close to Kai's.

"Yeah." They continued to place their luggage in the trunk in silence. Thorne paused suddenly, casting a sideways glance at her. She cleared her throat, pretending not to notice.

"Hey, Cress." She mustered up the courage to meet his gaze. His intense blue eyes seemed to look directly into her soul, and at that moment she was almost positive that he knew she kissed Kai. He took a step closer, and her breathe hitched in her throat.

"Yes, Captain?" His hand landed on her shoulder, slowly moving upward until it caressed her cheek.

"I never got to ask you," he whispered, "Did he strike you?"

At first Cress was confused, but his touch, although gentle, sent a stinging pain running through her jaw, reminding her of yesterday's events. "Oh, that waiter?"

Thorne frowned at the mere thought of him. "Yeah. You have a bruise."

"Is it bad?"

Thorne snorted. "You're worried about how it looks? Aces, Cress, you're too cute."

As a sudden impulse Cress balanced herself on her toes and gave him a swift peck on the lips, reddening slightly when she lowered herself. Thorne was grinning like an idiot, making her blush even deeper.

"Not that I'm complaining, but what was that for?"

She kept her gaze on the pavement. "I dunno."

She suddenly felt herself being lifted off of the ground and over Thorne's shoulder, squealing as he set her on the back seat. He crawled in himself, shutting the door. "Looks like we're finally getting some alone time," he smirked.

~o0o~

Scarlet found herself aimlessly rolling a pencil on the hotel room floor. Cress and Thorne were out putting suitcases away (though she suspected that more than that was going on), Wolf was taking a shower, Cinder was double checking the location of the water park, Kai had fallen asleep again, and Iko was pacing nervously around the room.

Wait… Iko was nervous?

Scarlet, relieved that she could finally do something, walked over to her. "Hey, Iko, are you alright?"

"YeahI'mgreatwhywouldn'tIbe?" She followed her one-word sentence with a high-pitched laugh that belonged in a children's cartoon.

"Oh, I'll leave you alone then-"

"Alright, you convinced me!" Iko latched onto Scarlet's arm and dragged her into the hallway, slamming the door.

"Iko, what-"

Iko silenced her by placing a firm finger on her lips. "Scarlet, I will tell you what's on my mind, but you can't tell _anyone_ what happened."

Scarlet nodded, and her lips were released. "Okay, I promise. What's going on?"

She took in a deep breath before slowly exhaling, fluttering her eyes shut. "I saw Cress and Kai make out last night."

"WHAT?!"

Iko was now rapidly fanning her face. "I KNOW!"

"OH MY STARS! WHAT'S WRONG WITH THEM?" Scarlet pinched the bridge of her nose. "No, wait, this has to be a mistake. Cinder and Kai and Cress and Thorne love each other."

"Believe me, I'm just as shocked as you are," Iko agreed, wrapping her arms around her torso.

"What happened? Tell me _everything_."

Iko recalled last night's events, how she woke up from one of Wolf's snores and witnessed the two of them embracing in the chair by the bed before whispering to each other and going out into the hallway.

"I was so shocked that I couldn't sleep, so I stayed up the rest of the night getting ready and silently freaking out," she finished. "So WHAT SHOULD WE DO!?"

"Spades, Iko!" Scarlet covered her ears, wincing from her sudden outburst. Iko sighed dejectedly.

"Sorry, Scar. I'm kind of freaking out. Cinder is my best friend, and this news would _crush_ her, especially on this big trip."

"What we need to do first is figure out what is exactly is going on and how long it's been going on," Scarlet decided. "We can't go to Cinder and Thorne without definite information."

Iko nodded, squirming slightly. "Should we tell Wolf?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"He sucks at keeping secrets," Scarlet admitted. "It's not something he'd be super interested in, anyway. But we can get him involved if it turns out Kai needs his ass kicked."

"Good idea. So for now are we keeping quiet?"

"Yeah. Iko, we have some detective work to do.

~o0o~


	10. Author's Note

**Uh… hey guys… *dodges sharp objects thrown in my direction***

 **Okay, so it's been a while since I've updated. And by a while I mean it's been nine whole months. I could've gotten pregnant and given birth to a child in the time I've ignored this story 0.0**

 **I could give you the long list of excuses (my laptop broke down, I lost my flash drive, etc.) but instead I'll just tell you that the hiatus will soon be over! Tomorrow is my last day of school and I plan on FINALLY updating this story before I go on my three week trip!**

 **I'm going to focus mainly on the Road Trip AU for a while just to get that whole story completed, which I think will be okay with y'all since that's been my most well received piece in this fanfic. Thank you so much for all of the fantastic reviews and support! You guys are the best!**

 **Again, I apologize for the long wait. I really hope you enjoy the next upcoming chapters**

 **~I Wield The Pen**


	11. Road Trip AU Part 4

**A/N: Woahhhh! An actual chapter update?**

 **Yeah, this is pretty exciting.**

 **So I wanted to complete the entire water park trip into one chapter, but I just kept writing and writing and eventually this hit 5,000 words and I knew I had to split it up into two chapters. The good news is that I get to post this way earlier than I thought I would! Yay!**

 **I'm so thankful that you guys still supported this story and reviewed even though I basically fell of the earth for a few months! You have no idea how much that means to me! If it weren't for all the kind comments, I wouldn't have been able to regain my excitement for this story and write another chapter.**

 **That being said, I still won't be able to update as regularly as I would like to. I'm going to a three week camp and I won't have any access to computers that whole time, and I'll be spending the weeks leading up to it packing and preparing. Expect sparse chapters for a while, guys.**

 **So without further ado, I give you the next chapter! :D**

 **I do not own the Lunar Chronicles.**

~o0o~

The ride to the waterpark was quiet and peaceful. Soft classical music resonated from the front of the car, lulling its passengers into a relaxed state. There were no worries, no issues, no drama…

Oops, wrong story.

Thorne had cranked up the music volume to infinity and a half, drowning out the singer with his own off-key vocals. At the same time Iko was squealing in the back, yelling "IT'S, LIKE, SO HAIRY!"

"You don't have to put sunscreen on my back if you don't want to," Wolf grumbled.

Cinder had Kai's shoulder in a death-grip, speaking in a rapid fire babble that he could barely comprehend "I-mean-I'm-sure-this-isn't-a-strip-waterpark-those-don't-exist-right-I-think-but-what-if-tripadvisor-was-wrong-what-do-I-do-UGHH!"

And then Scarlet was defending her husband's hairy-ness while Cress joined her boyfriend's singing with her own sweet melody.

"AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEYIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOOOOOOOOOUUUU!"

"Thorne, you sound like a dying cow."

"SHUUUT UUUUUP KAAAAAIIIIII!"

Yeah. Definitely not a relaxing environment.

When they pulled up to the water park Iko practically flew out of the door with Scarlet in tow. "We're gonna change into our bathing suits!" She shouted over her shoulder before disappearing into one of the bathrooms.

"Well that was strange," Cinder mumbled.

Thorne just shrugged in response. "She probably just wanted to skip your lecture. I just wish she dragged me along instea-OW!"

Cinder marched over and picked up the clipboard she had previously hurled at Thorne's head, clearing her throat. "That was a lovely introduction, Thorne. Now let's go over a few ground rules…"

~o0o~

Iko and Scarlet stumbled into the bathroom, slamming the door behind them. About fifteen other women were inside, chatting and rubbing on sunscreen at a leisurely pace.

"We should probably wait a bit for people to clear out before we start talking," Scarlet muttered through the corner of her mouth, glancing at the other women.

"Way ahead of you," Iko replied. Feigning casualness, she swung her bag over her shoulder, whistling as she made her way over to one of the bathroom stalls. She winked at Scarlet just before closing the door.

The room was fairly quiet. There were a few whispers. A few giggles. And then…

"AHHHHHHHHH THERE'S A SNAAAAAAAKE!"

Utter chaos.

The whole bathroom exploded into shrieks and squeals. Stall doors slammed open as women dove out of the door. Flip flops and containers of waterproof mascara were left behind in the carnage. One chick even jumped out the nearest window. Within seconds Scarlet and Iko were completely alone, the former hanging her jaw open with a mixture of horror and respect.

"Okay, so what's the game plan?" Iko questioned, sprawling herself out on one of the empty counters and picking up an abandoned mascara container. "How do we investigate the whole Kai and Cress thing?"

"Like I have a clue." Scarlet locked herself in one of the stalls and began changing into her bathing suit. "I guess we'll have to constantly keep an eye on both of them to see if they sneak off together again or act weird around Thorne and Cinder."

"Got it. I'll watch Cress and you'll watch Kai."

"Well…"

"Well what?"

Scarlet opened the stall door, frowning slightly. "I kinda wanted to spend some time with Ze'ev today." Her suit was a modest two-piece that showed a little strip of stomach. Wolf had made it clear from the start of their relationship that he didn't believe in dominating what she wore, but he _strongly suggested_ that she didn't wear anything too revealing for his own sake (normally he was a calm guy, but when creeps started hitting on his girl he'd turn into some sort of _werewolf_ ).

"Yeah, well, I wanted to work on my tan, but we have to make sacrifices in this case." Iko dropped the hand that she had been using to apply mascara, her expression suddenly serious. "Cinder is my best friend, Scar. I've known her forever. When she met Kai she became an entirely different person, and I mean that in a good way. She's so much happier now. If we don't get to the bottom of this situation and stop it, she'll…" Iko shook her head. Scarlet sighed, pulling herself up on the shelf so she could sit next to her.

"We _will_ figure it out, Iko. I got your back. Z and I have plenty of time to have fun on this trip." She smiled reassuringly, squeezing her shoulder. Slowly, Iko's own face broke into a smile as well.

Then there was a groaning noise. Both girls peered down at the source.

"Uhhh… Scarlet?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't think this shelf was made to hold up two human bodies."

With a yelp the two clattered to the ground, sprawled out along the broken pieces of what once was a counter. The girls sat there for several seconds, frozen in shock.

"…if Cinder finds out, she'll kill us."

That was enough motivation to send the girls tearing towards the entrance of the water park.

~o0o~

"…and lastly, have fun!" Cinder smiled uncomfortably, shoving the clipboard back into her bag. "Alright, that's about it. Anyone have questions?"

Her question went unanswered as Wolf and Thorne, who had scooped Cress into his arms in the process, were already sprinting in the direction of the park, whooping loudly. Cinder sighed.

"I'll take that as a no."

Kai chuckled, wrapping a comforting arm around her. "You can't really blame them. Yesterday was a disaster, and they're desperate for some fun."

"My presentation about water safety had visual diagrams! That's fun!"

Kai's lips quirked, suppressing a grin. "Yeah. It did." In a swift movement he snatched her bag, sprinting towards the entrance of the park.

"KAI!"

"I'll race ya to the gates!" He shouted back. Cinder mumbled something along the lines of "lack of protective footwear" before breaking into a grin as she ran after him.

It didn't take long for them to pay and change clothes before snagging a spot on the grass to put their stuff with Iko and Scarlet. Cinder sprawled out on her towel, clad in a simple one-piece she had owned for the past five years. Iko huffed when she saw it, turning to Scarlet and muttering "and _I'm_ the one without the boyfriend…"

"Alright guys, the park just opened , the lines are short, and I want to cram in as many rides as I possibly can before this place gets flooded with whining kids peeing all over the place. Cress, my darling damsel, would you care to join me?" Thorne dramatically presented his hand to the girl, who flushed slightly before accepting it and letting him help her up. He tugged her close to him, so they were about nose-to-nose. He stroked her blazing cheeks with his thumb.

"Are you sunburnt already?" He teased, smiling coyly.

"N-no…"

"Oh, get a room, already," Iko complained, slapping sunscreen onto her legs. "There's a pathetic single person in your proximity, remember?"

Cress squeaked while Thorne just threw an arm around her and laughed heartily.

"What about that cute waiter you met yesterday?" Scarlet asked as she pulled her thick locks up into a pony tail. "He seemed nice."

"Yeah, but how nice can you really be if you work at _Levana's_?" Iko shuddered. "Once I realized that I deleted his number straight away. I guess it's up to me and my bikini to find a hot lifeguard or something to spend the day with."

"Trust me, Iko, you won't have to work too hard," Cinder noted, eyeing a group of guys who were sending her friend appreciative glances.

"I hope not. Wish me luck! I'm going to the wave pool." Iko hopped to her feet and started away from the group, glancing knowingly at Scarlet just before she left.

"And Cress and I are going down every single water slide here to make up for her complete lack of experience."

"You mean you've never been on a water slide?" Wolf asked. Cress shyly shook her head and tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ear.

"Sybil was…protective. She thought I'd fall off or something." Cress laughed weakly while Thorne silently took her hand.

They all knew Cress didn't come from the best background. Her parents gave her up when she was born and she was adopted at an early age by a woman named Sybil and her husband. She was originally nice to Cress, dressing her up in expensive clothing and showing her off to her friends when Cress demonstrated her intelligence and skills with computers. When Sybil's husband-who had scarcely spoke a word to Cress since her arrival- left, she was devastated. Terrified that Cress would leave her too, she began letting her go out less and less. Eventually she locked her up in her room, only ever opening the door to give her food and water. Cress's room was decent since it had a large bed, a bathroom, and a computer to entertain her, but being confined in that space for such a long period of time left her feeling extremely claustrophobic. It wasn't until she was sixteen that she mustered up the courage to smash her door down and run away from home.

"Well," Thorne continued in a light tone, trying to lift her spirits, "today will be well worth the wait! Not only does this place have five star reviews, but you have a water slide expert at your side!" Thorne posed dramatically, quirking one eyebrow while glancing off mystically into the distance. Cress giggled, rubbing her thumb across his hand.

"Oh really? What qualifies you as a water slide expert?"

"I once was an official waterslide tester for my local waterpark."

Cress widened her eyes. "Really?"

"Well, if you count me and my friends hopping over the gate and 'testing' them when the park was closed."

Cress half-heartedly shoved her boyfriend, who was smirking at Cinder's shocked expression from his previous statement. "I actually am pretty excited. But you better not let go of me the entire way down."

"Trust me, sweetheart; that won't be a problem."

Cress blushed again as he wrapped one arm around her and planted a kiss on the top of her head, maintaining the position of his arm as they strolled off in the direction of the rides.

"That was probably the cheesiest thing I've ever heard," Scarlet chuckled after the couple had left. She made a mental note of which direction they headed just in case Iko needed help tracking Cress later on.

"It works for them, though. She always dreamed of having the romantic T.V. boyfriend, and he always dreamed of finding a girl who fell for his crappy one-liners."

Cinder rolled her eyes at her boyfriend's comment. He and Thorne were constantly finding opportunities to make fun of each other, but they were actually pretty close. When they first met they hated each other; Kai thought that Thorne was in love with Cinder and Thorne thought Kai was going to steal his friend from him. The confusion led to a fist fight between the two boys, which was quickly interrupted by two whacks of Cinder's wrench. In the end they were forced to resolve their conflict verbally, which they did.

"I think they're sweet," Cinder defended. "Cress somehow transformed Thorne from a womanizer to a gentle and caring boyfriend."

"I do too," Scarlet added, "but I personally would never be able to handle a relationship like that. I prefer it when people tell it like it is rather than mix a bunch of fluff in their language."

It was at this moment that Wolf, who was paying little to no attention to the previous conversation, decided to interject with: "Hey, Scar, I'm hungry."

The redhead gestured to her husband while pointedly nodding. "See? This is how all people should talk."

He blinked, eyeing the redhead warily. "What about how I talk?"

"Nothing. You're perfect, Z. C'mon, let's go see if we can find some hotdogs.

The couple walked off, leaving Cinder and Kai alone. Both of them mentally noted that they hadn't had more than a few seconds alone together the entire trip.

Kai also remembered that he almost had a perfect romantic encounter with her last night if only he had checked that it was his own girlfriend he was making out with. This was also the perfect moment to bring up last night's events. All he had to do was open up his mouth and say something…

 _But that would ruin my proposal_ , he reminded himself, shaking his head. He hadn't quite decided when the ideal opportunity to pop the question would be, and in an uncharacteristically risky fashion, decided to just wait until he felt the moment was right. While he knew Cinder would understand the situation if he told her, it would make things awkward between the two of them, which would prevent him from finding an ideal moment to propose. He believed in being honest in relationships, but this information would only hurt Cinder, not help her.

At least that's what he chose to think at that moment. His head couldn't take the constant internal debating much longer.

"So what's first?" Kai questioned, laying down next to her and taking her hand in his own. He splayed out the waterpark's map in front of them, mouth quirking up in a grin. "Wave pool? Lazy river? Ooh, waterslide of love, that sounds interesting…"

Cinder giggled, playfully nudging Kai with her shoulder. "I'm thinking of something more along the lines of getting some sun while reading _Harry Potter_ for the millionth time."

"Sounds perfect." They both grinned, leaning in so that their noses brushed against each other. Kai tilted his head, pushing himself even closer-

"EEEEEWWW THEY'RE KISSING!"

Cinder's head snapped up, knocking against Kai's own in the process. A little girl in a pink and white bathing suit wagged an accusing finger in their faces, her mouth wide open in shock. Cinder, now clutching her head, grimaced.

"N-no, we were just…"

"Planning our trip," Kai finished, his eyes swimming with unshed tears of mirth. He was pressing his lips tightly together to keep from exploding into laughter.

"Yes, exactly! We were just talking so close because…" Cinder's mind ran blank again, and she turned to her boyfriend (who had now clasped two hands over his mouth to stifle his chuckles) for help.

"Because the waterpark is so loud?" the girl finished.

"Yes! Yes, that's it exactly!" Cinder let out a relieved sigh, wiping the sweat off her brow. "The waterpark is loud! So we had to talk closely! That's exactly what happened!"

"…You're weird."

A blonde woman hustled over to the group and scooped the girl up into her arms, throwing Cinder and Kai a reproving glance in the process. Cinder burned with shame. Kai was still trying not to laugh. The woman walked off without saying a word.

"…that was humiliating."

Kai responded to his girlfriend's disdain with howls of laughter.

~o0o~

"…I love drinking strawberry smoothies, and my favorite color is blue. Okay, so I've talked plenty about me; tell me about yourself!" Iko propped her elbows on her floaty and leaned in closer to the blonde guy in front of her. He scrunched up his nose in response.

"My mom told me not to talk to strange old people," the twelve year old responded.

Iko frowned at the kids in front of her. "I'm not _old,"_ Iko chided. "Look at me! How old do you think I am?"

He cocked his head to the side, thinking hard. "Hmmm… like 35 or something?"

"Try 25, kid," she growled.

"Whatever, old lady." He paddled away from the fuming girl just before she could reach out to wring his neck. So far she had hit on one married guy, was asked out by some creep looking for a "CPR practice buddy," got rejected by the cute lifeguard (sure, he could dive in to save a kid from drowning, but he couldn't spare a second for smoothies?), and resorted to talking with a middle schooler in hopes he'd be one of those adorable kids who'd boost her self-esteem by calling her pretty. No such luck.

"I might as well get out of here and find Cress," Iko mumbled to herself. "Hopefully she and Kai haven't tried anything yet."

She leaned on her inflatable tube and kicked her legs out behind her until she reached the edge of the wave pool. Holding her nose, she slipped through the tube and into the water, resurfacing with a gasp. Smoothing her hair out of her eyes, she started to pull herself out.

And then promptly splashed back in.

"Oh my stars…" Heart thumping loudly, she slowly lowered her head to look down at her body in the water. Yep, she wasn't imagining that funny breeze when she started to get out of the pool.

Somehow, Iko had lost her bikini bottoms.

Holding back a frustrated scream, she scanned the faces of the other people in the wave pool, making sure no one had seen her- erm- _posterior._ Thankfully, nobody appeared to have noticed.

"Well, there goes spying on Cress," Iko growled. She readjusted herself in the floaty so her lack of covering would be less obvious and began the tedious search for the other half of her bathing suit.

She hadn't spent five minutes looking through the water when her elbow accidentally nudged someone in the ribs. "Oops, sorry, I-" She paused, eyes widening to take in the sight before her.

This guy was _hot._ And when she said hot, she meant five times cuter than the waiter from Levana's and the hunky lifeguard _combined_. He was tan, muscular, and had roguish wavy hair that made her knees weak.

"No, it's my fault," he consoled her, looking equally taken by her own appearance. "I wasn't looking where I was going. I'm Kinney."

"Iko," she coolly responded, flipping her hair over her shoulder. "So what brings you to the waterpark?"

"Well, my girlfriend had been begging for me to come here with her for a while and we began to plan a trip…"

Iko's smile wavered, and she tried to conceal her disappointment.

"…But we I never got around to it since we ended up breaking up two months ago. Finally I decided I might as well come and see what all the hype is about."

Her grin returned with full enthusiasm. "Is that so? I came here since I'm on a road trip with all of my closest friends. You have no idea how annoying it is to be the only single person on a trip with three couples!" He smiled in response, and Iko noted that his grin widened at the word "single."

"You seemed to be looking for something earlier. Need any help?"

Her heart stopped. Here Kinney was, staring into her eyes with a genuine willingness to help and she _was half naked._

Iko's flirtatious attitude disappeared rather quickly. "Uh, n-no, I'm alright. I just… dropped my bracelet."

"I can search the bottom of the pool if you want. My vision is great underwater." He sucked in a breath as if about to plummet under the waves. Iko suppressed a shriek and grabbed his shoulders, firmly holding him in place.

"Nope! It's fine! I just remembered I wasn't even wearing a bracelet in the first place!" She proceeded to laugh awkwardly, heart breaking as this super-cute guy began to look at her as if she had two heads.

"O-kay… well, you want to-"

"I'll see you around!" With that she promptly spun around and began paddling in the opposite direction, resuming her search with a red face.

~o0o~

Cress stumbled a little as she regarded the monstrous water slide towering above her. It was shaped like a giant funnel that spit into a twisting tube and eventually ended in a rectangular pool. Further inspection showed her that one to four people squeezed onto a donut-shaped floaty to ride the thing. Her stomach lurched as she imagined herself as a puny creature in the giant contraption, spinning down, down, down…

"This. Looks. Awesome." She craned her neck to catch her boyfriend's expression, which resembled his excitement when they were first introduced to the Rampion. He glanced down at her, still completely awestruck, and she couldn't help but smile back at him.

Yeah, there were worse ways to die than snuggled up to the guy she's hopelessly in love with in a funnel of death. She was willing to make the risk.

"And look! There are only twelve people in line!" His voice snapped her back to reality. She glanced over to the line, which indeed had only had a handful of people.

"Wow. That means it'll be our turn really soon." There must have been a nervous edge to her voice that she didn't catch because he suddenly stopped, gently gripping her shoulders. His eyes gazed into hers with an intensity that made her mouth go dry, even after almost a year of dating.

"Hey, if you're uncomfortable with this, we don't have to go. And I really mean that, Cress. If any part of you doesn't want to go on this ride then I don't either."

Cress tore her eyes away from his steely gaze to look back up to the ride. She shuddered, but not out of fear. A rush of adrenaline coursed through her veins.

"There is no way in this galaxy you can keep me from riding this thing," she said, a grin spreading across her face. His eyes searched hers for a moment, and when he was absolutely certain she was being completely honest, he smiled back, pressing a firm kiss on her lips.

Her heart melted.

"Alright! Let's do this thing!" With a new vigor, he grasped her hand and started towards the line.

By the time their turn came around, Cress was bouncing on the balls of her feet. They had to climb a series of steps to get to the peak of the ride, where they would situate themselves into a tube before a worker would push them off into the funnel. She and Thorne began to get onto their tube when the worker grabbed her arm, preventing her from sitting. Thorne narrowed his eyes.

"What's the problem, sir?" He stepped in front of Cress, staring at his hand until he removed it from her. The worker didn't appear to be phased, despite being a good four inches shorter than Thorne. He was a fairly scrawny kid as well, probably around eighteen years old. His face seemed to be fixed in a permanently nonchalant expression.

"I'm going to need her to step against this wall before allowing her to go down. We have a height limit on all of our rides. "

Thorne followed the man's gaze to an image of a cartoon alligator with his hand raised at the five-foot mark. "You gotta be kidding me," he grumbled under his breath.

"It's fine, Captain." She gave him an easy smile and stood by the character. Its hand reached her head exactly. "See? I'm tall enough to ride."

"She's exactly five feet," the worker confirmed. Thorne breathed a sigh of relief and they both began to board the tube again.

"Wait," he said, reaching out for Cress's arm again before Thorne's glare caused him to retreat it hastily. "She's _exactly_ five feet. In order to ride, you have to be _above_ five feet."

Cress felt her heart sink, spinning down, down, down…

"What?" she spluttered eventually.

Thorne looked like a kid who was handed a chocolate bar before it was ripped out of his grasp. "C'mon, man," he whined. "Just make one _teeny_ exception!"

The teenager shrugged, still expressionless. "Sorry. It's a stupid rule, but if I get caught letting customers break it then I'll be fired."

Thorne moaned, covering his face with his hands. Cress watched him, guilt making her heart sink even further. "You should just ride without me," she said, a ghost of a smile on her face. "I could tell you've been looking forward to this for a long time. Just go for it."

He peeked at her through his fingers. Realizing that his actions were resembling those of a ten-year-old, he cleared his throat and moved his hands to his side. "Nah, it wouldn't be fun without you."

"I'll meet you at the bottom," she coaxed, finding his hands. "It's just _one_ waterslide. We can ride a different one together."

" Actually, all of the waterslides here have the over five-foot rule."

Cress and Thorne whipped their heads over to face him. "WHAT?!"

~o0o~

"Why do you have binoculars?"

"Birdwatching."

"Birdwatching?"

"Mm-hmm."

"I didn't know you were into birdwatching."

"After years of glaring at hens to lay eggs you kinda get used to it." Scarlet removed the binoculars from her face, smiling at Wolf. He was attacking his tenth hot dog, oblivious to the slack-jawed views he was getting from surrounding customers. Scarlet wiped a glob of ketchup of his chin.

"Tomatoes," she absently murmured. He grinned in response.

"So when are you going to tell me why you're stalking Cinder and Kai?" he asked after finishing hot dog number twelve, promptly moving on to the thirteenth. Scarlet sighed.

There was no point in lying to Ze'ev. He could read her like an open book, a side effect from their many years of knowing each other. For a while, he was all she had, and vice versa. Those few years of complete dependence built an indestructible bond of trust between the two. While he knew she wasn't actually birdwatching, he also knew she wasn't keeping anything from him that he would want or need to know.

"Whenever the issue I'm trying to figure out gets resolved I'll tell you. I may need you to kick someone's ass."

"I'm starting to think that's the only reason you keep me around."

She released a snort, nudging his shoulder. It was like trying to budge a boulder. He flashed her grin, revealing his surprisingly sharp canine teeth. The sight only made her laugh harder.

"You got some hot dog in your teeth," she giggled.

"Do I? Would you mind using your tongue to get it out?" He immediately flushed after saying this, setting Scarlet off in another fit of laughter.

" _Z,_ what is _wrong_ with you?" she teased, feigning shock.

"I need to stop hanging out with Thorne so much," he groaned.

"Don't we all?"

He snorted, finishing off his twentieth hot dog with a particularly loud swallow.

All of a sudden the people around them burst into applause. Wolf jolted upright at the sound and obediently joined in, confused when everyone around him began to laugh.

"Told ya he could do it!" Scarlet crowed, looking prouder than Thorne after beating Cinder in a thumb wrestling match.

He furrowed his eyebrows. "Do what now?"

"Eat twenty hot dogs in under ten minutes," a balding man wearing a Hawaiian shirt responded. "And you weren't even trying! I guess a big fella like you needs the protein."

Wolf unconsciously shrunk down in his seat. "Umm…"

"So what did he win?" Scarlet interrupted, sensing his discomfort. She ran her fingers across the nape of his neck, digging them in for a firm massage. Like magic Wolf's shoulders relaxed and his throat released a short whining noise against his will.

The concession stand manager handed them a certificate for a free Wendy's smoothie. He also assured them that the consume hot dogs were now free of charge.

"I'm so proud of you," she murmured, pressing a chaste kiss against his lips. He grinned, quirking an eyebrow.

"For eating twenty hot dogs? I know for a fact that you could eat even more when you're hungry."

"True."

"By the way, how did you get all of these people to know I was about to do some sort of food competition?"

"Seriously, Z? You're practically deaf when you're hungry. And speaking of your fans…" Scarlet peeked over his shoulder. A few people were taking pictures of them. One little girl looked like she was trying to muster up the courage to ask for an autograph. Wolf followed her gaze, raising his eyebrows at the sight.

"Oh."

After a few minutes of conversation and picture taking with the awestruck crowd around them, Scarlet suddenly jolted up and grabbed Wolf's arm.

"I just remembered! We have to meet some people for a thing! Z?"

He turned to face her, two grown men still feeling his arm with looks of jealousy. "Uh, sure. Bye guys." He awkwardly tugged his arm from their grasp and stood.

Once they were a safe proximity away from the food stand Wolf wordlessly handed the binoculars to his wife, who eagerly grabbed them and pressed them to her face.

"So you forgot to stalk Kai and Cinder?"

"Yep. And I lost them." She continued to scan the area and let out a gasp of excitement when she spotted them.

"They didn't go too far," she said, relief creeping into her voice. "But it looks like they're going on a water slide. Oh, the tower of love? I didn't think that was their style." She continued to peer at them with her binoculars, chuckling quietly.

Wolf shielded his eyes with his hand as he glanced up at the water slide. "It looks like Cress and Thorne are headed that way as well," he commented.

Scarlet's smile dropped.

"Oh shit. I gotta find Iko."

 **To be continued ~**


	12. Author's Note (Again)

**A/N: I know, I know, I suck :P**

 **Thank you guys so much for continuing to read and review this story! It truly means a lot to me! Currently I'm totally immersed in school work, scholarship applications, the play I'm in, the fifty billion long term papers with deadlines steadily approaching, etc. BUT WHO CARES ABOUT ALL THAT PERSONAL CRAP CUZ THERE'S GOING TO BE ANOTHER CHAPTER UPDATE SOON :D**

 **This week is pretty chaotic with a bunch of stuff going on after school, but the plans I had this weekend were just cancelled so it's the perfect opportunity for me to sit my butt down and write another chapter! You may be asking yourselves why I choose to do these pointless author's notes instead of just waiting until the chapter is finished and then posting. Well I'll tell ya. If I don't commit to it early on, it's not going to get done. Instead of writing this I'd do something pointless, like read one of the five books about Puritan culture I borrowed from the library for my essay. Ew.**

 **Again, the support really means a lot! If I didn't keep seeing all the kind comments and views this story is receiving, I would've stopped writing it a long time ago. And that would suck.**

 **Anyway, get hype guys! A chapter is finally coming!**

 **~IWieldThePen**


	13. Prank War Part 2

**A/N: Hey y'all! Prank War part 2 is finally here! I'm already about halfway through with the next road trip AU chapter, but I am swamped with homework this weekend and I have the ACT and am performing a competition play next weekend, so it may be a little while before that goes up. Hopefully it shouldn't be longer than a month.**

 **I'd also like to eventually go back and edit all of these chapters. Whenever I reread them I catch a few grammatical errors, and the comments help point those out as well. I know it's super annoying to have to see those while reading a story, so I'll definitely do that at some point.**

 **Thanks again for sticking with this story! I love going back and reading all of the reviews. Your kind comments always inspire me to keep updating**

 **I do not own the Lunar Chronicles (if I did, there would definitely be a prank war)**

~o0o~

Life was good on the Rampion. Cinder's revolution against Levana ultimately proved successful, landing her on the Lunar throne as the long lost Princess (and now queen) Selene. Most of the team had sustained fairly significant injuries, especially Cinder and Cress, but they were finally able to enjoy being around each other without worrying about getting shot out of space by enemies or strategizing ways to convince an entire planet to rebel against their ruler.

Yep, life was sweet.

While Winter and Jacin understandably decided to stay on Luna, the rest of the crew were taking one final trip as a team back to earth. Thorne, Cress, Scarlet, and Wolf were going to start their mission of distributing the Letumosis antidote while Cinder and Kai continued to work through the official paperwork for the Earthen and Lunar alliance. Iko insisted that she stay by Cinder during this entire process. Afterwards Cinder would be heading back to her home planet to restore order.

This was probably the last time they'd all be on the Rampion together.

It was bittersweet. The group couldn't sit down and have one conversation together without someone getting teary-eyed (and while Cinder and Iko _technically_ couldn't cry they would sniffle every now and then). Eventually they all reached the point where they would just roam the halls of the ship, avoiding eye contact. It was as if they were simultaneously trying to preserve and forget their memories together.

Thorne, for one, was sick of it.

Once they landed on Earth they were headed straight for New Beijing. Thorne and the rest of the team in charge of spreading the antidote had to spend one week at the palace testing the serum and filling out papers before legally being able to go out and distribute it. That gave him one week to restore the chaos he had grown accustomed to before they went their separate ways for a little while. Sure, Scarlet would probably yell at him and Cinder may whack him with her wrench, but it would be better than the stupid sappy routine they had managed to fall into.

Thorne never forgot the "hot dog finger incident." Sure, he stopped mentioning how he planned to get revenge about a week afterwards, but that only ensured that his victims wouldn't see it coming when he unleashed his legendary pranking skills on them. And by "them," Thorne meant everyone but Wolf and Iko. Wolf made his dislike for pranking very clear from the get-go, even somehow convincing Scarlet to apologize to him for the joke. How he managed that he'll never know. Plus, the guy could beat him into a slimy pulp if he so desired, so it was best to stay on his good side.

Iko, on the other hand, _loved_ pranks. Thorne was sure she'd be only too happy for him to prank her, giving her opportunity to exact revenge. In all honesty, he was terrified of Iko. According to Cinder, she once convinced Adri, a _grown ass woman_ , that there was a monster living in her closet that would only leave after writing a list confessing all of her most embarrassing secrets.

Basically, she would prank the crap out of him. And Thorne preferred not to be humiliated in front of everyone he held dear.

While everyone else was out moping, he was devising his master plan. His first part only required a few buckets of paint…

~o0o~

 **MISSION 1: The Rampion's Latest Addition**

 **VICTIM: Kai**

Kai blinked his eyes open, a grin slowly crossing his features at the sunlight that streamed through his window. After weeks in Luna and a long trip in space, he was ecstatic to see some non-artificial light for once.

Stars, he loved the sun. Pun intended.

Gradually, he began to sit up, relaxing his muscles as he did so. When Scarlet announced that they'd be arriving on earth at four in the morning, Thorne insisted that they stay asleep inside the Rampion and enter the palace once they were fully awake. Kai, for one, was relieved. He hadn't had more than three decent nights of sleep in weeks. Even after they defeated Levana he was pacing in front of Cinder's hospital room or starting on the endless piles of paperwork they had to fill out for the alliance between Earth and Luna.

Kai also figured that Thorne's suggestion was secretly made because he wanted them to spend one more morning together on the ship. He prided himself on being a pretty good judge of character (it came with the job, really) and he knew Thorne was slightly embarrassed at showing his emotions, but he was going to miss all of them.

Kai smirked at the thought. The tough guy wasn't as tough as he thought.

Pulling on a decent change of clothes, he left his cramped quarters and headed towards the common area. Iko and Cress were the only others up. Cress handed him a cup of coffee with a smile that he would once describe as timid, but was more peaceful. He accepted it gratefully, taking a cautious sip. To his pleasure, it didn't singe off his taste buds.

"Cinder is still sleeping if you were wondering, and I think Captain is too," she told him, taking a sip from her own cup.

"Yeah, and Scarlet and Wolf won't be up for a _long_ time. I don't know how you guys slept with all of the noise they made! It went on and on, but eventually they tired themselves out. They've gotta be exhausted!"

Kai choked on his drink while Cress squeaked. Iko glanced at both of them, confused.

"What's so shocking about the two of them having a long conversation?"

Kai blinked. "Oh. Conversation. That's exactly what I thought you meant."

"Oh my stars! Emperor, you have a dirty mind! And _Cress!_ "

"I'm going to check on my muffins!" Cress bolted out of her seat, cheeks ablaze.

"And I'm going outside to get some air." He began to walk briskly, leaving the giggling android behind him. Just before he reached the door Thorne bolted past him, laughing hysterically.

"Morning Princess! Aces, it smells good in here!"

"Yeah, Cress is-" Kai whirled around, but Thorne had already disappeared. He sighed, straightening his shirt. "And it's emperor, not that you'd ever call me that," he muttered under his breath.

Shaking his head, he finally opened the door to the ship, fresh air washing over him and filling his lungs. He had to squint at first, but eventually his eyes adjusted to the sunlight and he was able to admire his country again. Beaming, he gazed out at his palace. It was exactly as it was before, only it appeared even grander compared to the cramped Rampion living quarters. Kai smiled at the sight, then glanced back over at the Rampion.

His smile dropped.

"THOOOOOOOOOOOOORNE!"

Within seconds Cinder, still clad in her pajamas, burst out of the ship with Thorne in tow. "What did he do?"

Kai was still staring slack-jawed at the monstrosity facing him, so he didn't notice Cinder's arrival soon enough. "Wait, don't look-"

"OH MY STARS!"

"…at the ship." Kai grimaced at his fiancé's horrified reaction while Thorne chuckled, still in Cinder's steely grip.

"Consider this revenge for painting over the naked lady."

Right where the portrait Thorne had previously painted once lay was a new one of the beloved Emperor. He was sprawled out in a provocative position, laying down with a hand on his hip and a leg kicking in the air. His face was painted realistically enough so you knew it was Kai, but it had a caricature smile and suggestive, waggling eyebrows.

Oh, and he was stark naked.

Once Cinder dared let her eyes look _down there_ (she had to indulge her curiosity; after all, she was eventually getting married to the guy) she nearly released a scream of her own.

Thorne had given Kai _cyborg junk._

To the Emperor's increased humiliation, the rest of the crew trailed out of the Rampion. Even the groggy Scarlet and Wolf showed up, rubbing their eyes.

"What did Thorne do this time," Scarlet yawned. She followed Cinder's gaze to the side of the ship. "Oh, shit. No wonder you were so against the Cyborg discrimination."

Thorne burst out laughing, falling out of Cinder's loosened grip and rolling on the floor. Kai reddened.

"No, that is not an accurate painting! Not that I have anything against anyone who would have metal- erm- genitals," Kai nervously continued, glancing over at Cinder, "but that is not accurate!"

"Yet it's very detailed," Iko mused. Nobody could tell, but she was using the camera lens in her retina to take several photos of the glorious mural. "When did you get naked for Thorne? Looks like Cress has some competition!" Iko let out a shriek of laughter and nudged the small girl next to her, who was covering her eyes and grimacing.

"This is even worse than when I accidentally landed on porn sites when I was eleven," she whimpered. "So. Much. Worse."

Kai almost looked offended. "Well, I mean, the crotch is terrifying, but he did my abs justice. If he gave me some pants it wouldn't be bad at all."

"Did you honestly just defend that thing?" Kai glanced sheepishly at Cinder, who was holding one hand up on the side of her face to block her view of the ship.

"Well, I mean, this can't be worse than accidentally discovering porn at _eleven!_ "

Thorne, still recovering from his laugh attack, made his way over to his girlfriend. "Sorry you had to see that, damsel. And I'm sorry if this stirs up feelings of jealousy. If you would like I could paint over it with your own portrait."

Cress shot him a disturbed expression, Cinder grabbed her wrench, Scarlet fingered her gun, and even Wolf crossed his arms in a menacing manner.

"Easy, guys, easy! She would be fully clothed, of course! I'm not that guy anymore. But I have to say," he grinned, shuffling over and wrapping an arm around Kai, "this guy does things to me. After hours upon hours of begging, I _finally_ allowed him to strip in front of me."

Kai released a noise that was a cross between a whine and a groan, shoving Thorne away and storming into the palace. Cinder followed, pausing only to say "You have three hours to paint over this or else you're dead!"

Thorne faced the remaining crew members. "Well, that was hilarious. So, Wolf, would you want to be my next-"

"Eyes off my man."

"-Okay cool I'll go inside now."

~o0o~

 **MISSION 2: Hole-y Moley! (Note: come up with a less lame name)**

 **VICTIM: Scarlet**

Scarlet slammed the bathroom door shut and locked it, immediately shimmying out of her clothing. She was already five minutes late to her meeting with the leaders of surrounding countries who hadn't yet signed the contracts to allow the distribution of the antidote, and she was currently wearing mud-soaked sweats from her tour in the palace gardens. After volunteering to water the plants, she and Wolf _may_ have gotten carried away with the hoses.

Her meeting was supposed to be at 8:00, but a text from Kai in their group chat (yeah, that was still going on) revealed that it had been suddenly changed to 3:00 due to an unknown request. Thorne generously offered to meet her in a palace hallway and hand her a bag with a change of clothes.

Just as she unzipped the bag there was a soft knock at the bathroom door. She sighed.

"Occupied! Sorry!"

"As much as I know you'd like me to join you in there, I'm in a committed relationship now. Sorry sweetheart."

Scarlet rolled her eyes. "What are you doing back here? You already handed me my change of clothes. I don't have the seconds to waste fake laughing at your jokes, Thorne."

"Ouch. I was just wondering if you could toss me your dirty clothes. I thought we should go ahead and do a load of laundry while we're here."

"Really?"

"Nah, I just heard there's a collection of 500 different scented laundry detergents. I overheard one of the servants saying there was a _money_ detergent! I mean he could've just been all talk-"

"Thorne. Just take the clothes."

Cracking the door slightly, she thrust one arm out, the dirty clothes balled in her fist.

"Thanks." He grabbed them out of her hands and started down the hallway, his feet clacking down the hallway with an upbeat rhythm.

Scarlet feverishly pulled out the change of clothing she had packed, brows furrowing. "What the hell…"

On top sat a white crop top with smiley faces on the chest and a pair of matching booty shorts. She growled.

"Oh my stars, he's going to make me go to my meeting dressed like that ancient hammer-licking celebrity!"

She sighed with relief when her hands found a nice black blouse and matching pair of slacks lying underneath. She held them up to the light.

"…Godammit."

~o0o~

Three minutes later she was marching towards the conference room, pushing down her rage to avoid ripping the door off its hinges. She entered the room.

The Earthen leaders were all conversing, talking idly and laughing amongst themselves. They didn't notice her entrance until she cleared her throat, pulling all eyes in her direction.

Jaws dropped. There were a few gasps. One European gentleman whistled, earning a sharp glare from the redhead.

"Let me make this _clear_ ," she started, her tone icy. "We are here to discuss the distribution of the Letumosis antidote. That is all. Do we all understand?"

They all mumbled in agreement, visibly shrinking back into their seats. She nodded.

"Alright then." She straightened her top, which had two holes cut out right where her, er, chestal muscles were. The white crop top covered everything, but it was far from professional, especially with the smiley faces peeking out. She had tried to turn the crop top inside out, but Thorne was thorough, drawing them on every side. Her hands were clenched in fists at her sides while she envisioned his throat in her grasp.

"We're going to keep this short and sweet. I have a friend to murder. Alright, do you have any grievances with the distribution documents?"

It was the shortest multinational document signing conducted in the past century. She convinced them all to agree in a record twenty five minutes, glaring whenever their eyes strayed downward and dismissing their concerns with a few harsh words. Perhaps the muttering of curses directed towards Thorne terrified them, but in less than a half hour they all signed, trembling in their seats as the glowering redhead reviewed the forms. She forced a smile in their direction.

"Thank you, gentlemen. You are dismissed." And with that she turned on her heel, giving them a nice view of the two holes on the back of her pants along with two more smiley faces.

 **~To be continued…**


	14. Road Trip AU Part 5

**A/N: Y'all. This is my longest chapter yet. And also my second favorite so far.**

 **What I may do is go ahead and finish the Road Trip AU chapters before moving on to anything else because I love writing them so much. I'm also always open to suggestions for future chapters! If you have any fun trip ideas for the Rampion crew, let me know!**

 **Thanks again for reading and reviewing! You guys are the best 3**

 **I'm not going to lie; the next chapter probably won't be up until winter break. I'll be writing a math paper while visiting my family in Chicago throughout all of fall break, so I won't really have time to write until then. It'll be my Christmas (or whatever holiday you celebrate) present to all of you!**

 **I do not own the Lunar Chronicles**

 **^(Also I got some questions as to why I include that in all of my chapters, and it's because it's a disclaimer. I'm not Marissa Meyer, so sadly nothing I write is canon in the Lunar Chronicles universe.)**

 **I hope y'all like this chapter, and I hope it's enough to hold you over until December! :D**

Cinder couldn't remember a moment when she had felt so serene. A gentle breeze lifted strands of hair off her face as she lay on her stomach, feet crossed at the ankles, head resting on folded arms, eyes closed. The repair shop was constantly packed with a wide variety of customers, ranging from stressed teens that dropped their phones in toilets to frantic lawyers whose entire cases were lost due to laptop viruses. The list of clients was never-ending. At the end of the day she was so exhausted she'd slip into a sleep coma the moment her head touched the pillow. These summer trips were the only real break she had. For once she could close her eyes and simply _be_. No worrying about the list of customers. No concerns about paying the rent on time. No having to convince the landlord not to kick out Thorne for installing a stripper pole in his living room. Just peace and quiet, lying next to her favorite man in the entire world.

Kai lay next to her on his back, their fingers brushing together on the towel. His face was completely worry free, muscles relaxed.

But that was only because he had been trained to appear calm under tense circumstances.

As innocent and minimal as it was, he couldn't forget his accidental kiss with Cress. More than anything, he regretted not telling Cinder the morning after it happened. She would have been slightly flustered, but by showing how accidental and insignificant it was, the issue would be quickly forgotten. Thorne would've probably made some joke, asking Cress to determine who was the better kisser, they would've laughed, and it'd be over.

But instead Kai decided to keep it a secret. Now if Cinder found out it would seem like they had something to hide, some sort of affection towards each other. And now his bad judgement dragged Cress into this whole fiasco, so her relationship with Thorne was in danger.

Oh, stars. Thorne. Not even his trained mask of coolness could resist flinching at the thought of his reaction to the whole ordeal.

Thorne would never lay a single hand on Cress. She could've purposely thrown herself on Kai and mocked Thorne to his face about the whole ordeal and the thought wouldn't even cross his mind. But if Thorne got the idea that Kai purposely made a move on Cress, that would mean going after his girlfriend _and_ betraying Cinder, affecting the two most important people in his life. And while he loved Cress too much to ever even consider hurting her, Kai and his magazine ready face wouldn't be so lucky.

Yeah, he really needed to fix this.

Kai rolled over to his side, taking in Cinder's peaceful form. For the first time this whole trip she appeared completely carefree, her face relaxed with a gently smile on her face. The sun warmed her tan skin, faint impressions of freckles beginning to sprinkle her shoulders and across her nose. She was absolutely stunning.

And he _really_ didn't want to ruin this moment. But he had to.

"Hey, Cinder?" His voice was soft and laced with worry, which normally she would've picked up on, but she was currently teetering on the edge of sleep and sobriety.

"Mmm hmm?"

"I have to tell you something."

"Hmmm?" She opened her eyes and raised her head, propping herself onto her eyebrows.

He took a deep breath, mustered all of his courage, and opened his mouth to speak, but Cinder cut him off.

"What the hell are they doing?!" In an instant her eyes lost their half-lidded, drowsy look, and she sat up in alarm. Kai followed her troubled gaze over to one of the water slides. At first he saw no issue with the sight. Then he noticed the bright "no supervisor present" sign as well as two figures nearing the attraction. When he squinted, their identities were revealed.

It was Cress and Thorne.

Cinder, initially delayed from shock, leapt to her feet and started towards them. Kai sat up quickly and grabbed her hand, a dizziness settling in his head from the sudden movement. "Cinder, wait! What are you doing?"

"Preventing Thorne from screwing up this trip!"

"But you don't even know if he's going to go on that ride!"

"Have you met Thorne? He'd never pass up the opportunity to go on an unsupervised romance-themed ride with Cress, and then he'll get us all kicked out!" With that retort she shook him off and sprinted towards them, her years of high school sports clearly paying off as she flew through the crowds.

Kai groaned, pushed himself to his feet, and began jogging after her. A sense of nausea began to build in the pit of his stomach. He just couldn't tell if it was from his lack of exercise in the past few months or a dark sense of foreboding.

~o0o~

Cress was _miserable_.

At first she was terrified of the stupid rides. Part of it probably had to do with Sybil's constant lectures about "the dangers of the outside world," claiming that since she was her "mother" she knew best, and another part of it was definitely a result of late night internet searches of water park disasters, but she wouldn't come within twenty feet of the things a week ago. Then she had to listen to Thorne's besotted ramblings about the adrenaline rush and the thrill and the exhilarating descent into a huge pool and _stars_ she couldn't wait to launch herself onto the death trap!

But, of course, she built up her hopes only to have them come tumbling down like a poorly constructed jenga tower.

"Hey, damsel, chin up!" Cress shifted her eyes upward to look at Thorne, who was squeezing her shoulder in a comforting gesture. They were walking side by side down the crowded sidewalk, dodging overenthusiastic kids and their sunburnt parents as they chased after them. "There are plenty of fun things to do her besides water slides. There's a wave pool, a lazy river, a concession stand-"

"Because nothing's more fun than dirty water and overpriced nachos," Cress muttered in an uncharacteristically pessimistic manner. She winced at the sound of her own voice. "I'm sorry, Captain. I just hate that I'm ruining this entire day for you. You were really looking forward to it, and now we can't go on any rides because of me."

"I already told you, Cress, you have absolutely nothing to apologize for. It's the stupid park rules that should apologize."

A ghost of a smile graced her lips. "The _rules_ should apologize?"

Thorne stopped mid-stride, causing Cress to crash into his side, as he pondered this question. "No, actually. The ugly ass cartoon alligator on the sign should apologize."

"Captain!" She was full-out laughing now, aware that this was Thorne's purpose all along but fine that she allowed herself to be so easily taken with him. He flashed his charming grin and wrapped his arm around her, pulling her into his side as they resumed walking at a slower speed.

"Hey, at least this place has no rules on PDA!"

"They do, Captain. Not as strict as Levana's, but they do."

He sighed loudly, shoulders slumping. "Darn. I was planning on making out with you on one of those picnic tables."

Cress laughed again, weakly smacking his chest with her hand. "If we get thrown out of this park, Cinder will kill us!"

"You mean _me_. Cinder will kill _me_. Everyone thinks you're innocent, Damsel, but I know better."

She cocked an eyebrow. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. You kicked a man in the nuts, after all."

Now they were both laughing hysterically, attracting confused stares from surrounding people but ignoring them completely. Both had forgotten about their unfortunate situation until they realized they wandered straight towards another waterslide. Thorne, aware of the slight waver in his girlfriend's smile, scoffed at the sight of the contraption.

"The tower of love? Lame. As if we'd ever ride that."

Cress raised her eyebrows, the genuineness returning to her smile. "Are you sure? That's the perfect PDA opportunity, Captain."

"True. But even if it was open, there's no way I'd be seen on a pink slide covered in hearts." Thorne began gently guiding Cress away with him towards a different park attraction that they could actually participate in, but Cress planted her feet firmly in the ground. Thorne turned to her, concern etched on his face, but she was too deep in her thoughts to notice his worried scrutiny. After a beat, she spoke.

"Did you just say it isn't open?"

Thorne nodded hesitantly, still unsure of her motives. "Well, it's running, but that sign says there's no employee monitoring the ride so no one can go on."

"Huh. No employee. That's interesting." She shot him a sly grin.

Thorne's expression slowly morphed from one of confusion, then realization, and finally settling on pride. "Well, well, well. Looks like there is some evil in you after all."

Cress feigned an expression of innocence. "Whatever do you mean, Captain? I was just making an observation."

"Of course you were. But if we get caught, I'm telling Cinder it was your idea."

"Fair enough."

Thorne darted his eyes left and right, diving suddenly onto the ground into a clumsy ninja roll before landing back on his feet. Now beside the gate to the water slide, he effortlessly pushed it open. Cress, used to her boyfriend's antics, merely rolled her eyes with a smile and took his hand before starting up the long flight of stairs.

~o0o~

"Oh my stars, where _is_ she!" Scarlet texted her fourteenth message to Iko while Wolf read over her shoulder. They were standing under the shade of a snow cone shop near the Tower of Love.

"Where are yu?" He raised an eyebrow. Scarlet scowled.

"My pinky finger never presses down enough on the letter. I swear it's like it's not there at all." She retyped the message, this time firmly pressing down on the "o," and sent it.

"She said she was going to the wave pool earlier," he commented, glancing around to scan for said attraction.

"Yeah, but that forever ago. There's no way she's still there. Odds are she found some guy and is too busy flirting to check her phone."

"It's our only lead. Do you have any other ideas?" Scarlet met his gaze. His tone wasn't sarcastic- it never was. He was honestly asking her. She sighed and shook her head.

"Alright. Let's find that wave pool."

Luckily enough they happened to be relatively close. Scarlet immediately spotted Iko's electric blue hair amongst the crowd. She tapped Wolf's back to get his attention and pointed in her direction. He winced at the contact, but Scarlet didn't notice.

"There she is. I'll grab her and then we'll have to sprint to the water slide to get there when Cinder and Kai do."

She dove into the water, swimming over to Iko with ease. She smoothed her wet, red locks back and tapped her on the shoulder. Iko shrieked, whirled around, and then let out a sigh of relief when she saw who it was.

"Scarlet! Thank the stars!"

"Iko, we have a crisis."'

"You're telling me? I lost my bikini bottoms!"

Scarlet blinked. "Uh… what?"

"I _lost_ my _bikini bottoms_. And then this super cute guy came up and talked to me and he was nice and funny but then I made a total fool of myself when he offered to help me find whatever I was looking for cuz he saw I was looking for something and I said it was my bracelet and he was about to dive underwater and look and I totally freaked out-"

"Iko!" Scarlet gripped her shoulders, effectively calming her down. "Listen to me! That totally sucks and I'll listen to your story later, but right now I need to go potentially prevent something really bad from happening."

"Wait, what happened?"

Scarlet was already swimming away at this point. "No time to explain! I'll come back later to help you find your suit! I love you, but I don't have time to wait for you."

"Scarlet!" Iko waved her hands wildly to get her attention, but she had reached the end of the pool and was pulled out by Wolf. They began running in the other direction.

Iko sighed, abandoning her floaty and slipping under the water. Her eyes were closed, blue hair fanning out like a peacock spreading its feathers.

She opened her eyes. Two golden brown ones stared back.

Iko attempted to scream, but only managed to exhale a series of bubbles. She bolted to upward and the strange girl followed.

Iko spluttered and coughed up water when she resurfaced, clutching onto the closest empty floaty to catch her breath. The short shriek of a whistle caught her attention.

"Are you okay? Do you need me to get you out?" The life guard was standing from his perch above the pool, concern etched on his features. Iko scowled.

"Oh, so now you want to talk to me? Forget it, dude." She turned her attention to the girl in front of her. "Not to sound rude or anything, but who the heck are you?"

The girl was perhaps the most beautiful person she had ever seen in her life. Her dark, smooth skin was completely flawless, save for an oddly compelling series of three scars on her cheek. The thick, black curls brushing her shoulders resembled those of a shampoo spokesmodel. And this was when her hair was _wet_.

She shrugged in response to Iko's question. "To you I'm a stranger. To some I'm called Winter, but others call me crazy. Or Trouble." She smiled wistfully at that comment. Iko cocked her head to the side.

"Oookaaay… was there something you needed to ask me?"

"Yes. Are these yours?" She presented a pair of bikini bottoms. Iko's eyes widened.

"Oh, thank the stars! I've been looking for those everywhere!" She snatched them from her hands and, after checking that no one was looking, discreetly put them on under the water. "Thank you so much! How did you know I was the one who lost them?"

"The birds told me." She gracefully gestured to the air above them, where birds were indeed gliding overhead. "That and I was swimming underwater and noticed you were the only one semi-skinny dipping."

Iko blushed, mouth agape. She couldn't tell if this girl was joking or not. "Uhh… well, I guess better you than Kinney."

"Who's Kinney?"

"Doesn't matter." Iko began swimming over to the edge of the pool, and Winter followed her. She pulled herself out. Winter did the same. Confused, she turned to face her. "Do you need something else?"

"I seem to have lost my guard."

Iko blinked. "You lost your guard? What are you, some kind of princess?"

Winter giggled and began wringing the water out of her curls. "Don't be silly! Jacin has saved me time and time again. It's only fitting that I call him my guard. I must've gotten lost in my thoughts and wandered off because one moment I'm with him and then next I can't find him anywhere."

Half of Iko wanted to abandon this loony chick at the lost and found, but another part of her found her oddly compelling. Perhaps it was her innocent, doe eyes or the genuineness in her smile, but she suddenly found herself tugging her along with her as she left the wave pool.

"Come on, Winter. Let's find this guard of yours. I'm sure Scarlet can handle whatever's going on by herself. And this guy better actually exist," she muttered under her breath.

~o0o~

The top of the water slide was much higher than Cress previously anticipated.

It wasn't the height that made her hesitant once they finally reached the peak, though. It was her train of thought while walking up the endless flights of stairs. The idea to get on the ride was stupid and impulsive, and she was nearly certain they'd get caught and everyone would be kicked out of the water park. That would mean a second part of their trip ruined and more of Cinder's planning wasted.

Stars, she already kissed her soon-to-be fiancé. The least she could do was not screw up her vacation.

Thorne could sense the unease radiating from Cress before she even spoke a word. He held her face in his hands, drawing her attention away from her thoughts. "Cress, we don't have to do this if you don't want to. We can just go back down the stairs and do something else." He attempted to look nonchalant, but the excitement in his eyes and his poorly suppressed smile showed how desperately he wanted to go down this slide.

Once he started dating Cress, Thorne knew he had to shape up. He ended his habit of bar hopping every weekend, choosing instead to spend quiet afternoons with his girlfriend. He stopped leering and flirting with every decent looking woman who walked by and committing petty crimes with his old group of buddies for sport after work. It was hard, but he even managed to send every single one of his Playboy magazines through the shredder, eyes squeezed shut as smoking hot photo shopped women were reduced to thin lines strips paper.

With her, he was happier. He woke up every morning with purpose. He was finally able to imagine a future for himself, and she was in it. Even so, he'd be lying if he said he wasn't occasionally tempted to revert to his old ways. And while going down a water slide that he technically wasn't allowed on was no major crime, he craved the adrenaline rush with all of his being.

Cress knew that. He tried to hide his little urges, but she never failed to notice the tightening in his jaw before refusing a second beer while they were out with friends or the quickening in his step when they walked past one of the shady places he used to hang out at. His devotion to her was so sweet she occasionally teared up just thinking about it. She knew it couldn't be easy to quit all his bad habits so suddenly for her.

It was that thought that made her say what she said next. "What are the odds of us getting caught?"

He scanned the area for staff members. "Honestly? Pretty likely. But if we get caught we can just say we're expert water slide testers."

"Okay. Let's do it."

He raised his eyebrows, grin breaking through his weak barrier. "Really?"

"Really. But if they catch us we shouldn't use the 'water slide tester' excuse. It's too obvious."

"Fair enough. Then we're a foreign couple from Germany who couldn't read the sign because we can't speak English."

"Do you know any German?"

" _Nein._ "

"Perfect."

She grinned and leaned into kiss him when a yell sent her jerking back.

"What are you guys doing?!"

Thorne squeezed his eyes shut. "Shit."

He cautiously made his way to the railing and peered down. Sure enough, Cinder was climbing her way up there at an alarming pace. Much further down Kai was gradually pulling himself up, pausing every now and then to catch his breath. Thorne turned back to Cress.

"I guess we probably shouldn't just go down to escape them, should we?"

She shook her head, though she'd be lying if she said she wasn't half hoping she could grab his hand and pull him down so they could slide away from Cinder's wrath.

By the time she reached the top, they were both already hanging their heads. Cinder placed her hands on her hips and stared down at them.

"What were you thinking, Thorne? We already got kicked out of Levana's. Do you want us to get kicked out of the water park too?"

Thorne opened his mouth, prepared to accept all the blame, but Cress cut him off. "Actually, Cinder, it was my idea. The rules won't let me go down any of the water slides since I'm too short, and then I saw that this one had no supervision so I made a stupid, impulsive decision. I'm sorry."

Cress bit her lip, prepared to be chewed out the same way Thorne often was after doing something stupid. She placed this situation between the time he dropped Kai's birthday cake on Cinder's carpet and when he threw a football and accidentally knocked down the satellite, taking out the cable for the entire apartment complex.

Cinder raised her eyebrows at Cress's confession "Oh. Are you sure it wasn't Thorne influencing you?"

"Yes. It was all me."

Cinder nodded hesitantly. "Okay then. Well, don't beat yourself up. It's not that big of a deal."

Thorne guffawed, grabbing the attention of both of the girls. "Are you serious? I mean, I'm happy you're not mad at Cress, but if that was me I would be a red smear on the pavement!"

"That's because Cress shows _remorse_ , Thorne! She actually apologized. When I get mad at you, you just point in some random direction and yell something incoherent while you try to escape."

"No I don't!"

"Yes you do!"

"Uh… look! Kai's falling off the stairs!" He grabbed Cress's arm and started towards the mouth of the water slide, but Cinder blocked the exit, glaring. He turned back to face her with an expression of mock disbelief.

"Aces, Cinder. You would sacrifice your boyfriend just to keep me from leaving you on the tower of love? You know I can't reciprocate your feelings. You're like a sister to me."

She rolled her eyes. "Ha ha. Let's go down, guys, before an employee sees us up here."

"I made it!" Kai, now on his hands and knees, crawled up the final three steps and collapsed, gasping for air. "I'm here! What's happening?"

Thorne stepped over the politician and started down the stairs. "Cinder's being a killjoy and making us go back down."

Kai moaned, covering his eyes with his hands. "More stairs? Can we just all stay here for a second?"

Thorne hadn't made it down more than ten steps before he came face to face with a panting Scarlet and Wolf. "Wow. It's a party now, I guess."

Scarlet ignored him, looking over his shoulder. She saw Kai sprawled on the ground, Cinder's glare, and Cress's guilty countenance. The puzzle pieces began to fit together in her head.

"Wow. I missed it, didn't I?"

Thorne knit his eyebrows together. "Missed what?"

"You and Cinder found out about Cress and Kai didn't you?" Kai, his weariness suddenly gone, sat up with a jerk. Cress froze. Cinder's expression morphed into one of surprise, and she glanced between Kai and Cress.

Thorne still wore a mask of confusion. "Kai and Cress? What are you talking about, Scarlet?"

Now it was the redhead's turn to freeze. "Oh. Uh, nothing. We should probably all head down."

"No, wait-" he shot out his hand to grab her shoulder and prevent her descent, but Wolf flashed him a warning glare. He retracted his arm. Instead he went back up to the top of the water slide and faced Cress.

"What's she talking about?"

He didn't think it was anything bad. Not until Cress's big blue eyes widened, mouth open but no words coming out. Now he was nervous. "What's she talking about, Cress?"

Cinder caught on to the mood, and then turned to face Kai. He stood up. "Listen, guys. Don't worry. It's nothing. Cinder, it's nothing," he added when his statement only added to the concern on her face.

Thorne didn't turn to look at him. He was still staring at Cress. He thought he knew the answer to his question, but still he asked. "What's she talking about, Cress?" His voice cracked on her name. Never before had Cress wanted to disappear so much.

Scarlet, exasperated, finally exploded. "Iko saw Cress and Kai making out last night!"

It was silent.

Kai was staring at Scarlet in shock, and Cinder in turn was staring at him with an expression of utter heartbreak and betrayal.

Meanwhile, Cress and Thorne were still locked in their gaze. The statement hit him like a blow to his stomach, and he had to grip the railing for balance. His pained expression alone brought out her tears. She was the first to speak.

"Thorne…Thorne, it's not what you think…"

All he heard was the echo of the same words he had spoken to a million girls in the past. _"C'mon, girl, it's not what you think! We were just… playing hide and seek! Under the covers…"_

She didn't even call him Captain. She called him _Thorne_.

Cinder was in the eye of her own hurricane. Kai wouldn't meet her gaze. Kai, the only guy whose smile made her forget her own name. Kai, the first person to whom she said _I love you_ back. Kai, the guy she had hoped for months upon months would eventually be her husband.

She was the next person to speak. "How… how long has this been going on?"

Kai finally looked her in the eyes, wincing at the glistening tears in her eyes. Cinder _never_ cried. "It's not going on. _It_ doesn't even exist, I swear-"

"Is this you speaking or the politician, Kai?" The words fell out of her mouth without hesitation, and their weight made his knees physically go weak. His jaw dropped open.

"Cinder… is that really what you think of me?"

She knew that any attempt to answer would result in her sobbing. She turned away.

Thorne shook his head, still gripping the railing. "No. There must be some sort of mistake. Cress, please, did Iko really see you and Kai kiss?"

All eyes were on her. She struggled to form the word, because she knew once it fell out of her mouth all hell would break loose. Thorne stared at her, his body trembling, eyes begging for her to end this whole thing.

"…Yes."

And just as she expected, all hell broke loose.

Thorne ripped his eyes away from her and set them on Kai, who swallowed nervously. He put his hands up in a peaceful gesture. "Now, Thorne, you don't understand what really happened-"

Thorne cut him off by lunging at him. Kai dodged, leaping out of the way just in time and landing right in front of the water slide exit. Thorne yelled and charged towards him a second time. This time Kai wasn't as fast. Thorne grabbed him by the middle, and they both went flying down, straight onto the water slide.

Cress shrieked and tried to grab either of them to hoist them back up to the platform, but the surging water whisked them downward. One hand was still outstretched towards them, the other covering her mouth in shock. Cinder was still frozen in shock, but she managed to speak.

"How could you, Cress?"

Cress tore her attention away from the two guys spiraling below to Cinder, who now had tears falling freely down her cheeks.

"You changed Thorne for the better. You made him, the biggest womanizer on the planet, fall in love with you. And I thought you loved him back. How could you betray him? And how could you betray me?"

Cress had to actively resist clasping her hands over her ears. The accusations were too much for her to bear.

I thought we were friends!"

"Kai's going to propose to you!"

For a second time, Cinder was rendered speechless. Scarlet and Wolf, who were watching the whole ordeal with open mouths, dropped their jaws down even further. Cress got up from her position by the exit of the water slide, cheeks flushed.

"I'm so sorry, Cinder, for telling you that, but you have to know that to understand everything that happened. I woke up late last night and kissed who I thought was Thorne, but it was actually Kai, who thought I was you. He told me he didn't want to upset you by telling you what happened because he was going to propose on this trip and that would ruin the whole thing. I love Thorne and would never cheat on him, and I consider you one of my closest friends. I would never, _ever,_ betray either of you." She paused to catch her breath, not used to saying so much so quickly. "And Kai will probably be mad at me for ruining the surprise but I don't think it really matters anymore. You need to know how much he loves you. That's what counts."

Cinder, dizzy from the whirlwind of events, had to sit down. Earlier, she wanted to strangle Kai while sobbing endlessly. Now she wanted to kiss him passionately, probably still while sobbing endlessly. She closed her eyes and pressed her fingers to her temples.

"So… you and Kai accidentally kissed… but Kai is actually going to propose?"

"Yes." Cress shuffled her feet, timidly playing with her short blonde locks.

Cinder looked up at her from her position on the floor, blinking slowly. A grin finally spread across her face. "Wow. I'm getting married."

That statement must've triggered the girliness in all of them, because Scarlet, Cress, and Cinder ended up all huddling up and squealing.

"Congratulations, Cinder!"

"Finally, am I right?"

"We _have_ to come with you to pick out your wedding dress!"

"Of course! And I know you'll both be the best bridesmaids ever!"

"Oh my stars are you serious?!"

"Guys?" The three girls, still smiling goofily, turned to Wolf. "We should probably get down there. Thorne will honestly drown Kai."

Again, Wolf was never sarcastic.

They exchanged concerned looks. "Right. Let's go."

Cinder stopped them before going down the stairs. "Wait. The stairs will take too long. How are we going to get there in time?"

"Well we could always take the scenic route," Scarlet muttered, eyeing the mouth of the water slide. Cinder, Cress, and Wolf followed her gaze. Cinder sighed.

"We are definitely going to get kicked out.

~To be Continued


	15. Texting Part 2

**A/N: HEY FRIENDS!**

 **So I know I said I was only going to focus on the Road Trip AU but I got a few requests to continue the texting piece and I had already started a second chapter for that like two months ago so I finished it in my spare time. I had so much fun writing this, y'all don't even know :D**

 **IMPORTANT NOTE: I do not support underage drinking or drunkenness in general! I included this for fictional hilarity. In real life this would be an absolute disaster. But as a fanfiction it's great.**

 **I also want to let y'all know that this story is complete randomness and its purpose is to try and make you guys laugh. And I really hope that happens, because I was laughing way too much while writing it.**

 **There will still be a chapter coming up during winter break! Never fear, readers! Also, thank you for reading and reviewing! My favorite part of updating this fic is going back and reading all the kind comments you guys send me**

 **HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO MY FELLOW AMERICANS! AND HAVE AN AMAZING WEEK TO THE REST OF Y'ALL!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Lunar Chronicles**

~o0o~

(Cinder added Winter to the group chat)

(Cinder added Jacin to the group chat)

Winter: Hello friends :D

(Jacin has left the group chat)

(Cinder added Jacin to the group chat)

(Jacin has left the group chat)

(Cinder added Jacin to the group chat)

Cinder: Stop being difficult Jacin

Jacin: I did not ask to be a part of this

Cinder: It's a helpful tool for all of us to communicate

Iko: YAAASSS WINTER AND JACIN ARE HERE ITS PARTAY TIME

Jacin: …

Cinder: Okay sometimes we also use it for recreation

Kai: Wait, you can leave the group chat?

Cinder: KAI

Kai: okay sorry

Wolf: hhji gusys

Iko: Omg Wolf your typing somehow got even worse

Scarlet: don't bug hij

Iko: Yours too, Scar

Scarlet: IM MISSING A PINKY SOMETIMES I HIT THE WRONG LETTER OKAY

Thorne: MISSING FINGERS CLUB UNITE!

Winter: I have eleven fingers

Winter: Oops I miscounted just ten

Scarlet: You're crazy but I love you anyway

Iko: Careful girl, Jacin and Wolf may get jelly ;)

Jacin: That literally makes no sense

Jacin: Why would Scarlet's comment make me and Wolf want to purchase jam

Iko: OMG I CANT EVEN YOU'RE WORSE THAN KAI

Kai: True

Jacin: ?

Cress: Jelly means jealous, Jacin

Jacin: Thanks shortcake

Cress: doNT CALL ME SHORTCAKE

Jacin: …

Cinder: …

Scarlet: …

Kai: …

Thorne: That's hot

Iko: That's the most aggressive thing I've ever seen Cress do

Iko: Except when she told off Sybil cuz that was savage

Jacin: Savage?

Kai: Don't even try, man.

Cress: Sorry guys. My favorite net drama just ended and I'm a bit emotional right now.

Iko: You also got stabbed by your bf

Cress: Yeah that too

Winter: THE PHONE SCREEN IS BLEEDING

Jacin: WHERE ARE YOU I'M COMING

Winter: Oops Wolf just splattered ketchup on it

Wolf: I lieke toamtoeas

Thorne: Dude are there hotdogs in the Rampion? I thought we were out

Winter: Nope he's just squirting ketchup in his mouth

Thorne: …

Jacin: …

Cinder: …

Kai: …

Scarlet: That's hot

Jacin: So was there a specific reason why you added both of us? We already won the war

Cinder: Yes actually…

Kai: It's something Cinder and I have both wanted to discuss with you guys for a while now

Iko: OMG YOU'RE PREGGERS?!

Cress: (Preggers = Pregnant)

Jacin: Thanks

Jacin: WAIT WHAT

Winter: Congratulations, cousin! I wish you all the happiness in the world

Thorne: Dang Kai that was quick

Thorne: Score for the pansy princess

Kai: Don't call Cinder a pansy princess

Thorne: I was talking about you

Cinder: I'M NOT PREGNANT

Iko: OMG YOU LOST THE BABY?!

Winter: My deepest condolences, cousin

Cinder: NO I WAS NEVER PREGNANT TO BEGIN WITH

Iko: OMG KAI GOT SOMEONE ELSE PREGNANT?!

Winter: Congratulations, Cress! I wish you all the happiness in the world

Cress: what

Scarlet: Wait, why did you assume it was Cress?

Winter: Because, Scarlet-friend, your scary boyfriend would beat the living crap out of Kai

Wolf: tru

Thorne: And who's to say I wouldn't?! COME AT ME BRO

Kai: Okay, first of all, no one got anybody pregnant. Unless any of you have something to tell us?

Cinder: Not pregnant

Cress: Same

Scarlet: Same

Winter: ^

Iko: Wait let me check

Iko: Okay I'm good

Kai: Second of all, I would totally crush Thorne in a fight

Thorne: LOL

Kai: What is lol?

Jacin: I KNOW THAT ONE

Jacin: Sorry I got too excited for a second

Cress: LOL = laugh out loud

Thorne: Cress, who would win, me or Kai?

Cress: You're both strong individuals with different strengths and weaknesses

Kai: That's the nice way of saying you'd lose

Kai: Who would win, Cinder?

Cinder: Thorne

Kai:

Kai:

Kai:

Thorne: BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Scarlet: Wasn't there something you were trying to tell us, Cinder?

Cinder: Yes! Kai and I have an announcement!

Kai:

Cinder: Go ahead Kai

Kai:

Cinder: Fine. You would kick Thorne's ass in a fight. Can we please continue now?

Kai: Thank you.

Kai: And the announcement it… drumroll please…

Kai: Cinder and I are getting married!

Kai: :D

Cinder: :D

Scarlet: Oh.

Iko: That's it?

Thorne: I thought we were getting ice cream or something

Wolf: smaem

Cinder: Woah woah woah guys this is huge! Why aren't you happy for us?

Cress: We are! It's just not really news…

Thorne: Yeah. It was pretty obvious that you guys were getting hitched any time now

Winter: Congratulations, cousin! I wish you all the happiness in the world

Jacin: Are you just copy and pasting that into your phone?

Cinder: Oh. I guess if this isn't news than you don't care about the bridesmaids and groomsmen… ;)

Iko: Easy. I'm the maid of honor, of course, and Scarlet, Cress, and Winter are the lamer but still cool bridesmaids.

Cinder: Crap, am I that predictable?

Iko: That and I've known you for like 9503458342 years :D

Wolf: wiat, thenk who'sa Kai's bset man?

Thorne: Umm, translation please?

Scarlet: He's wondering who Kai's best man is going to be

Scarlet: And so am I, actually

Thorne: Well, obviously it's me

Jacin: Negative. If it's between me, you, and Ze'ev, it's definitely me

Kai: … isn't that a bit presumptuous? I've only known you for a few weeks

Jacin: Yeah but the rest of your friends are lame

Thorne: EXCUSE ME

Wolf: ESKCSE MEW

Thorne: KAI AND I ARE LIKE BROTHERS

Thorne: I STEAL FROM HIM

Thorne: I CONSTANTLY MAKE FUN OF HIM

Thorne: I SPIT IN HIS FOOD

Kai: Wait, what?

Thorne: OF COURSE I'M THE BEST MAN

Wolf: AND I iactually dontje caret\=

Kai: Guys my best man isn't going to be any of you, it's Torin

Wolf: …

Jacin: …

Thorne: did you just misspell my name orrr

Thorne: Cuz it's T-H-O-R-N-E not T-O-R-I-N

Kai: Torin is my advisor

Thorne: but he's old

Kai: So?

Kai: If he asks tell him I said he wasn't old

Thorne: No way that guy would be cool at a bachelor party

Kai: I'm not having a bachelor party

Thorne: Oh yes you are

Thorne: The legal drinking age here on Luna is 16

Thorne: :D

Kai: I'm not going to drink! I'm the Emperor!

Thorne: So?

Cinder: I agree with Kai on this one. It just isn't a good idea. Someone may try to get him drunk and then reveal earthen secrets. I know we won the war, but tensions are still high

Thorne: Im not going to bother reading that

Wolf: yeahd. Tooolong.

Iko: But Cinder, what about your Bachelorette partyyyyy D:

Cinder: What?

Scarlet: LIT

Iko: I've been planning it since Kai came to the mechanic shop!

Cinder: WHAT?

Kai: You knew I was going to marry Cinder back then?

Iko: Okay so at first I was the bride but then I saw you too had a thing so I switched it to Cinder's Bachelorette party :D

Winter: I've never been to one of those! It sounds fun!

Jacin: Oh no, you're not drinking anything

Winter: Why nottttt

Jacin: It's not safe

Winter: My friends will be with me, and it's not like I haven't been drunk before! Remember the Lunar ball last year?

Jacin: I do. That's why I'm saying you can't drink.

Winter: Now that I think about it I have no idea what happened that night

Jacin: You don't want to know

Iko: (They probably made out)

Winter: I would want to know that though…

Cinder: Guys I haven't even agreed to this party

Iko: DO IT

Scarlet: DO IT

Cress: I really don't want to pressure you into anything but it sounds fun

Winter: DO IT

Cinder: OKAY FINE

Iko: WOOHOOOOO!

Thorne: Awww they get to have a party and we can't?

Thorne: Can't I just stuff some socks down my shirt and come with you guys?

Cinder: No way. Besides, you'd make a really ugly girl.

Thorne: Pshhhh I could get more phone numbers than all of you combined

Thorne: Except you Cress you're beautiful and I love you

Cress: I'm not going to try and get peoples' numbers 0.0

Thorne: OH THANK THE STARS

Kai: Okay… if Cinder is having her bachelorette party here, we can have ours here as well.

Thorne: YESSSSSSSSS

Wolf: coolp

Jacin: This is going to be disastrous

~o0o~

Cinder: Kai

Cinder: Kaiiiiii

Cinder: KAIIIIIIIII

Kai: Cinder are you okay? What's going on?

Cinder: I'm at a bar

Kai: Okay… anything else?

Cinder: nooo

Cinder: But Scarlet called me a lightweight

Cinder: whatever that means lol

Kai: Oh stars

Scarlet: Don't worry, emperor. We're taking care of her.

Cress: hey guys we're group chatting weeeeeeee

Scarlet: Well I'm taking care of her. Iko's got her hands full with Cress.

Iko: DANCING WITH CRESS IS SOOOO FUN! SHE'S THE ONLY OTHER PERSON I'VE EVER MET WHO KNOWS ALL THE JUST DANCE MOVES FROM THAT OLD WII THINGY

Iko: I wish I could get drunk…

Thorne: Cress is drunk? Do you need me to go over there and take her back to the Rampion?

Thorne: TO LET HER TAKE A NAP OKAY I'M NOT THAT GUY ANYMORE

Cress: im not drunk im cress

Cinder: hi cress im cinder

Cress: i have a friend named cinder thats so cool!1!

Jacin: WHERE'S WINTER

Scarlet: Oh crap. Uh… Iko?

Iko: I thought you had her!

Jacin: OK GUYS NOT FUNNY

Jacin: GUYS IM SERIOUS

Cress: hi serious im cress

Jacin: WHAT BAR ARE YOU AT IM COMING RIGHT NOW

Scarlet: Calm down I just found her!

Jacin: Oh thank the stars

Scarlet: She was leading a conga line

Jacin: of course she was

Winter: Hi friends! I love you all soooo much

Kai: Don't tell me she's drunk too

Winter: What are you talking about all I've had today is water

Winter: I should probably change that

Iko: I'll chaperone!

Wolf: sdlfj;lerjg'ho;lakjjjjjjjjjjj

Scarlet: Z?

Wolf:fdf;ljejltgmlaepokopr

Scarlet: Guys what's happening over there?

Thorne: He thinks he's texting you but is just pressing a bunch of buttons

Thorne: His texting gets even worse when he's drunk, apparently

Wolf: asfknlklknewflgrg

Thorne: Well said, buddy

Scarlet: Wait Z is drunk?

Jacin: Oh yeah

Kai: Very much so

Scarlet: Damn I really don't want to miss that

Kai: Hey you're watching Cinder!

Cinder: hey kai

Kai: Yes?

Cinder: I really want to kiss your face

Cinder: like right now

Cinder: where is your face

Kai: Cinder I don't think that's appropriate right now…

Cinder: fine ill just find a different face

Kai: WAIT WHAT

Kai: SCARLET!

Scarlet: She's making out with some dude's hamburger

Thorne: Send pics pls

Iko: Oh yeah I'm taking a bunch using my internal camera

Wolf: asfjkdfkwejjgoweopro'

Iko: This is going to make the best wedding scrapbook ever

Winter: I have acquired drink

Jacin: Oh dear Lord

Winter: Iko got it for me. It's a new kind of beer I've never tried before that is made of roots

Kai: root beer?

Winter: Yes! That is the name!

Jacin: Nice thinking, Iko

Iko: I do my best *hair flip*

Thorne: heeyyyy cress where u at gurrlll

Kai: And another one bites the dust…

Cress: omg its thorne heyyy

Thorne: I had this crazy idea

Cress: haha what mister smith get it mister smith cuz that was your name lol

Thorne: ok ok ok

Thorne: so

Thorne: you know how cinder and kai are doing the married thing

Cress: ya

Thorne: we shuld too

Cress: YA

Jacin: Hold up where did Thorne go he is no longer in the bar

Thorne: IM COMING FOR U BBY

Jacin: Oh stars he's going to get run over

Cinder: nooo thorne cant get married first

Cinder: kaiiiii

Cinder: lets do it nowww

Kai: hey cindr yeah lets do it I love you so much and I want to kiss ur face 2

Cinder: 3

Jacin: Wait when did Kai get drunk?

Kai: I drank vodka lol

Kai: I almost threw up

Kai: lol I just did

Wolf: sakdfjlkdfn

Scarlet: IM COMING Z

Wolf: SDAFKJSDF;LKSJFLKERJOIET

Jacin: SPADES WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO

Jacin: EVERYONE IS DRUNK AND RUNNING AROUND THIS GOD FORSAKEN PLANET AND I AM TECHNICALLY LIABLE SINCE IM IN THIS STUPID GROUP CHAT

Jacin: IKO WHERE'S WINTER

Winter: I'm right here! I'm on my fifth root beer and I still feel sober… but I guess my "sober" is the average person's "drunk"

Jacin: IKO WHY AREN'T YOU STOPPING EVERYONE ELSE FROM LEAVING

Iko: Are you kidding me? My ships are sailing!

Jacin: WHAT

Winter: I don't want to be the only one not getting married

Iko: Yeah join the club

Jacin: WE ARE NOT GETTING MARRIED

Winter: D':

Iko: Woah dude harsh

Jacin: No no no no please don't cry

Jacin: Winter

Jacin: Winter answer me

Jacin: Listen, Trouble, when I said we aren't getting married I meant we aren't going to throw away the most important day of our lives in a dusty city hall with a bunch of drunks

Jacin: When I marry you I want my parents there and all of your friends

Jacin: I want it to be absolutely perfect

Winter: So… you want to marry me?

Jacin: One day, yes. I want to marry you.

Iko: OMG IS THIS A PROPOSAL

Winter: :D

Jacin: WAIT WAIT WAIT I'M NOT GOING TO PROPOSE OVER TEXT

Jacin: Screw it. I trust the others will safely find each other.

Jacin: WINTER I'M COMING

Winter: :D :D :D :D :D :D

Iko: THIS IS SO CUTE

Iko: DAMN IT WHERE'S LIAM KINNEY WHEN YA NEED HIM

Iko: omg he's right over there

Iko: omg he's coming over

Iko: omg omg omg omg omg

Iko: okay im going to decide that everyone is okay and talk to him

Iko: im sure everyone's fine

Iko: right?

~ To be continued…


	16. Road Trip AU Part 6

**A/N: Winter break! Hallelujah! We made it!**

 **Now that I'm not drowning in homework and extracurriculars, I actually have time to write. I may be able to publish another chapter before the end of December, which would be super exciting. Let's see if that actually happens**

 **Y'all, I can't thank you enough for continuing to read this story! Reading the comments you leave is so exciting for me, you have no idea. Thanks for all of the love and support!**

 **I hope you enjoy this next chapter!**

 **I do not own the Lunar Chronicles.**

~o0o~

"Okay, if you don't have any idea where you two were last, can you at least tell me what he looks like?"

Winter pondered this idea for a moment, glancing up at the cloudless sky as she imagined his face. "He's very handsome."

"That doesn't tell me anything."

"He has blonde hair and eyes like the sea. He's tall and has a strong build."

"And he's your…boyfriend?"

Winter had to ponder this question as well. "We both care for each other greatly."

Iko suppressed the urge to roll her eyes. "Okay. So this Jacin guy is the hunky kind-of-but-not-really boyfriend slash guard of yours that took you to a waterpark and then lost you."

"Yes. We actually weren't planning on coming here at all earlier."

This piqued Iko's interest, but only slightly. She was still low key convinced that this girl had escaped from the looney bin. "Really? What was your original plan then?"

"To escape from my stepmother. Jacin said she wanted to kill me."

If Iko had been drinking at that moment, she would have spat it all over Winter's flawless face. Again, she knew there were a few screws loose in that fantasy-filled brain of hers, but something about the tone of her voice and the way she absentmindedly traced her scars with her finger made her believe otherwise.

"Why would she want to kill you?"

Winter shrugged, the serious expression still haunting her features. "She says I'm a nuisance and embarrass her in front of her friends when I talk. Jacin says she's jealous of me, though I haven't the faintest idea why. She used my father's money after he passed away to invest in a bunch of companies, growing her fortune. She even started up her own successful restaurant. Now she's got power in the local government, using her money to bribe representatives and bend them to her will. Levana always said she wanted money and power and-"

"Levana?" Now Iko _really_ wanted a smoothie for a dramatic spit-take. "As in the owner of Levana's Bistro?"

Winter nodded, a pained smile on her face. "Yes. Have you ever dined there? The breadsticks are my favorite. I can't stay in there for very long, though, because the red paint makes the walls look like they're bleeding. It scares me."

Iko stopped walking for a moment, leaning on a picnic bench to absorb all of this sudden information. Winter obediently halted as well and sat down after daintily wiping crumbs off the wood. After collecting herself, Iko sat next to her, taking a long look into her eyes. If Levana was her stepmother, she had no doubt that her childhood was absolute hell. No wonder she was crazy. Levana probably forced her through psychological torture for most of her life.

"So you were running away. How did you end up here?"

"Levana sent a few of her body guards after us. Jacin thought we out-drove them all, but recognized one of them a few cars back. We ended up parking in a gas station, going inside, and then sneaking outside the back and running to the closest place we could hide in. What better place to disappear than a chaotic water park?"

Iko nodded, surprised at how easily she accepted Winter's story. Something about her innocent appearance made her easy to believe. "So how did Jacin recognize the body guard?"

"He used to be one himself."

"OMG!" Iko's hands flew to her chest. If she were a cartoon character, her eyes would be bright red hearts. "You guys are like Romeo and Juliet! He abandoned his position under Levana to protect you!" Now Iko was really into the story, attentively staring at Winter as if she were the T.V. during an episode of _Grey's Anatomy_. "Okay, so what was your plan after entering the water park?"

"We were going to relax here for a bit, hire a cab, and then go somewhere far, far away."

"Far far away?"

"We didn't have time to work out the details."

"WINTER!"

Both girls whirled around. A muscular, blonde man began feverishly pushing through the crowd, heading in their direction. Iko glanced at her inquisitively.

"Is that a friend of yours or should I scream that he tried to take my bikini top off and let security take care of him?"

She beamed, golden eyes sparkling. "Friend. My guard has found me."

He roughly elbowed past a few high school boys, earning some dirty looks and passive aggressive remarks, but his eyes remained locked on Winter, as if he feared she'd disappear the moment he glanced away. She stared back just as intensely. Iko swiveled her head between the two of them, noting the heavy look they were sharing.

"And you're not dating, huh?" She muttered under her breath.

Finally Jacin reached them and pulled Winter into a crushing embrace. "Stars, you really are a handful. Are you okay?" He released her only to inspect her at arm's length, eyebrows knit with worry. She beamed in response.

"I am now. And I made a new friend!" She looped her arm around Iko, who extended her hand to him.

"I'm Iko, and I'd be glad to be the maid of honor at your soon-to-be wedding."

Jacin flushed at this, but still accepted her handshake. "Uh…what?"

"I told her about our situation," Winter stated, ignoring his question. "I know you said to lay low, but she was so kind and helpful and I think she's very trustworthy."

"Winter, you once climbed into the white van of another 'trustworthy friend' of yours. I had to sprint after the car and jump on the windshield to make him stop."

"He offered me ice cream."

He sighed, raking a hand through his hair. "How many times do we have to go through this? There is no ice cream!"

"Well, Iko didn't even offer me any ice cream. She offered to help me find you."

"Okay, but you shouldn't just blab all of your secrets to every random person you meet!"

"But she isn't a random person. She's Iko."

"Guys, I really don't want to get in the middle of your couple's squabble-" Iko interrupted, holding up her hands in a surrendering manner, "-but I'm probably never going to see either of you again, so there's no need to argue about how well I'll keep your secrets."

Jacin relaxed while at the same time Winter's face fell. "What do you mean? We're friends now."

Something about her wide, doe eyes and trembling lower lip made something inside Iko break. Stars, if this girl weren't so focused on Jacin the whole town would be groveling at her feet. She placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Tell ya what. Once you deal with all this crazy aunt business, we'll get coffee sometime, kay?"

"Jacin says I shouldn't drink caffeine."

"Jeez, is he your boyfriend or your father?"

"I'm her bodyguard!" Jacin protested, a blush rising up his neck. "And Winter, we really need to get going. Say goodbye to your friend."

"But we have nowhere to go, Jacin." The sad look in her eyes was still there, and Iko could detect a softening in his stony expression. "We don't even have a real plan."

He grabbed her hand and pulled her into her chest, allowing her to burrow her face into his shirt. "Hey, what did I tell you about worrying? Leave that to me. I'll figure something out, I promise. I'll figure something out." She whimpered softly, and he stroked her dark curls with his free hand, whispering soothing comments into her ear.

The whole sight was too much for Iko to bear. This was sappier than every single Nicholas Sparks book combined, and she couldn't just leave the tragic couple without knowing their happy ending.

Spades, Cinder was going to kill her.

"Come with us," she blurted out. The couple parted, staring at her. Winter's eyes filled with elation while Jacin's filled with distrust.

"Really?" She began to bounce on her knees, beaming widely. Jacin looked unsure.

"That would be a major intrusion. We'll be fine on our own."

Iko waved a dismissive hand. "Nah, it'll be fun. At least join us for part of the trip. We'll drive you out of the water park and you can hop off at our next stop."

Winter directed her pleading gaze in his direction, batting her eyes and biting her lower lip. After a few seconds of this, he cracked.

"…Alright."

Winter shrieked, planted a firm kiss straight on his mouth, and then abandoned the bewildered man to fling her arms around Iko, who began laughing in earnest.

"Not dating, huh?" She quirked her eyebrow at Jacin, who held his hand to his lips. Finally he regained his senses.

"W-we should go. We should go," he repeated, blinking himself back to reality. Winter giggled.

"I can't wait to meet the rest of your friends, Iko! Where are they?"

Iko shrugged. "Not sure, actually. But they shouldn't be hard to find."

"Do they also have blue hair?"

"Nope. Just regular colors. Boring, I know."

Winter giggled again, and then stopped, eyes wide. "Wow. They sure are passionate."

Iko followed her gaze to a water slide called the Tower of Love, which had two figures riding down it. They appeared to be in a heated embrace, limbs tangled together as they plummeted downward. Iko narrowed her eyes.

"Wait a second…"

It was Kai and Thorne. Iko's jaw went slack.

First Cinder, then Levana, then Cress, and now Thorne? Damn, that politician really got around.

Winter blinked at her frozen friend. "Iko? Are you okay?" She snapped her fingers in front of her face. Wordlessly, Iko pulled out her video camera and began recording.

~o0o~

Kai was 99% sure he was going to die.

Thorne's hands were wrapped around his neck and he was straddling him as he screamed curses, both of them plummeting down the water slide. While the oxygen slowly left his brain Kai realized that they were in a very compromising position. Probably not the most reasonable thing to be pondering while blacking out.

Kai gasped for air and pried Thorne's fingers off his throat, choosing to go on the offensive. He was actually kind of pissed that Thorne so easily believed he would betray Cinder and make a move on Cress.

"THERE'S NOTHING GOING ON BETWEEN ME AND CRESS YOU IDIOT!" He shouted, ramming his knuckles into Thorne's nose. Thorne cried out in pain, eyes flashing. The roaring water around them impaired his hearing, so he misinterpreted what he said.

"DON'T YOU DARE CALL CRESS AN IDIOT! YOU PULLED HER INTO THIS MESS, ASSHOLE!" he screamed while kicking his shin. Kai growled and flipped him over so he was on top of him, pinning down his arms and legs.

"I WOULD NEVER MAKE CRESS TOUCH THAT PART OF MY BODY!" Thorne glared at him, so Kai slapped his face for good measure. "YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND!"

"CINDER _IS_ MY BEST FRIEND, AND YOU BETRAYED HER!"

"NO I SAID THAT _YOU'R_ E MY BEST FRIEND!"

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING! I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU NOW!" Thorne proceeded to struggle out of Kai's grasp and sock him in the jaw. Kai blocked his next blow by grabbing his fist and twisting, causing Thorne to clench his teeth and then attack him with his free arm. They continued with this exchange of blows all the way down, their shouts and screams and cries attracting the attention of everyone within 50 feet of the Tower of Love.

"SCREW YOU!"

"YOU SCREWED WHO?!"

"NO I SAID-" Kai's mouth was wide open when they plunged into the pool, the chlorine stinging his throat and filling his nose. He choked on the water, kicking his way up to the surface. Thorne was a few feet away from him, spluttering and rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands. Kai took the opportunity to start propelling himself to the edge of the pool, but Thorne quickly recovered and began splashing after him. A small crowd had formed around the attraction at this point, gasping and pointing and giggling behind video cameras. Someone took a photo with the flash on, blinding Kai for long enough for Thorne to pounce.

Meanwhile Cress, Cinder, Scarlet, and Wolf had flown down the stairs, pushing past the crowd just in time to see the pair crash beneath the surface and ensue in an underwater wrestling match. Cress shrieked, Cinder turned deathly white, Scarlet covered her mouth, and Wolf calmly marched towards the edge of the pool and dove in.

Within seconds Wolf emerged from the pool, dangling Thorne and Kai, who were gasping for air, from their arms, and began marching towards the edge. The audience that had formed stepped back as he shoved them both onto the ground and climbed out himself. Thorne and Kai doubled over, coughing and spluttering profusely. Murmurs and questions began to build around them.

Scarlet grit her teeth as the crowd began to move in. If there was one thing she couldn't stand, it was people who couldn't mind their own damn business. She spun on her heel, facing the onlookers. They were still entranced with the situation in front of them, so she cleared her throat, attracting attention.

Scarlet had mastered her scary look when she was 10 years old, targeting a thief who was trying to sneak vegetables out of their garden. This glare had had induced tears, screams of terror, and made grown men wet their pants. Kai, Thorne, and Wolf had each committed one of those actions as a result of this glare. I'll let you decide who did what.

She trained her steely gaze on the crowd, holding back her intensity by 50%. She didn't like using full force unless absolutely necessary. With as much venom as she could muster, she growled "there's nothing to see here, people. Move out. _Now._ "

With those few brief words she struck terror in the hearts of the spectators, and within seconds the area was deserted. She smiled at her success, and Wolf blew out a low whistle. She raised her eyebrows.

"What?"

He shook his head, grinning. "It's just… Stars, I love you."

She smiled back and moved in to kiss him, but Thorne cleared his throat.

"I hate to break up the love fest, but I can't help but feel like you guys are forgetting a major issue." He was standing now, having caught his breath, and while he wasn't shouting his voice wavered on the edge of hysteria.

Cinder and Cress had been watching the whole ordeal on the sidelines in complete shock. Now Thorne trained his gaze on Cinder, refusing to meet Cress's eyes. "You've got to do something, Cinder. You can't just suppress your feelings."

She froze, then, slowly, she nodded. She approached Kai with a blank expression. Kai tensed up, but didn't leave the spot where he was standing. His eyes were pleading.

"Cinder, please you have to believe me-"

"Shh. Listen to me." She held a finger to his lips, then delicately removed it. Her expression was still unreadable. "I have one thing to say to you and one thing only." He squeezed his eyes shut, bracing for the impact of her wrench. She moved her lips toward his ear, and whispered.

"My answer is, and always will be, yes."

And then she kissed him.

It was hard to tell who was more shocked: Kai or Thorne. Kai widened his eyes before closing them and melting into her embrace. Thorne let his jaw hang open.

"He cheats on you and you kiss him?! You've nearly decapitated me for breaking a freaking dish!"

His complaints fell on deaf ears. Cinder and Kai were completely wrapped up with each other. He turned to Scarlet and Wolf. "Can you believe thi- WHAT THE HELL?!"

At some point Scarlet and Wolf had begun making out as well, her hands deep in his hair while he pulled her closer to him. Thorne blinked rapidly, swiveling his head between the two couples until he got dizzy.

"I've fallen into the freaking Twilight Zone," he muttered. He tensed when a delicate hand touched his shoulder.

"Captain?"

He wanted to be angry. Aces and spades and stars, he truly did. But when he heard her voice he knew he was seconds from breaking down completely.

There was a reason he never got into serious relationships in the past. His own parents had acted merely civil towards each other. At one point he thought they even loved each other. That happy image was shattered when he walked in on his father kissing another woman. He was only 13 years old.

He crept out of the room without the pair noticing, pale and gasping for breath. He ran straight to his mother, and the minute the word "affair" fell out of his mouth she completely misunderstood and began begging him not to tell his father about Denny. She might as well have punched him in the gut.

Neither parent was satisfied with just each other. They needed other people to fill in the gaps. Thorne decided that one-on-one relationships couldn't last for any long period of time without one or both parties getting bored or annoyed or mad enough to fall into the arms of another. So he stayed far, far away from those, for his own safety and for the well-being of the other.

And then he met Cress, and a wave of emotions he had never experienced before came crashing into him light a satellite plummeting towards earth.

At first he was terrified of starting something with her because he thought he'd be unable to stay faithful and break her heart. She wouldn't be enough for him, and he'd move on to someone else. But after months of keeping a respectful distance, his feeling didn't die. So he gave into the fire, and was completely consumed. He discovered that she wasn't just enough- she was more than enough. She was overwhelming and mesmerizing and he couldn't stay away from her.

He knew he'd never dream of leaving this wonderful, intoxicating girl.

He never stopped to think that she might leave him.

"Yes?" His voice sounded distant. Cress flinched.

"Can we go somewhere to talk, please?"

Thorne wanted to say no. He wanted to run the opposite direction. He had never been broken up with before, and certainly not by someone who he was in love with.

But he pushed back the tears and nodded, letting her guide him.

~o0o~

Cress was shocked at how calm she was. Against all the odds, her heart rate was steady as she tugged Thorne to an empty park bench.

They sat. He still wasn't looking in her eyes. She opened her mouth, and while her mind was blank, the words still came. "I need to tell you what happened that night. The whole story."

Thorne grimaced. His heart rate was anything but steady. Her making him relive the moment she betrayed him would be absolute torture, but as they walked over here he made up his mind that he'd let her say what she needed to say.

He was madly in love with her. That would never change. He couldn't resume to his womanizing ways if he tried. The least he could do is let her leave him with a somewhat clear conscience so she could pursue a happier life without him.

It hurt. It really hurt, but he'd suffer for her. But he still couldn't look in her eyes.

"Go ahead, I'm listening."

If Cress was surprised by this response, she didn't show it. "That night I woke up after Cinder accidentally kicked me. She's got a foot like iron, you know," she joked, smiling wistfully. In any other circumstance, Thorne would've laughed. Instead he just swallowed and gestured for her to continue. "So I got up and went to the bathroom to fill one of those small plastic cups with water for a quick drink. I left the lights off because I wanted to go back to sleep afterwards, but then I heard someone get out of bed."

Thorne was pinching his leg, hard. This was too much. "I don't think I want to hear this," he muttered, beginning to stand up. Cress put her hand on his leg. His eyes finally met hers. He sat down.

"You _need_ to hear this," she whispered. She didn't remove her hand, and he didn't remove his gaze. The situation grew more intense, and they could both feel it. Cress began to speak more quickly. "I heard the person say something, but they were obviously tired so their voice was husky and all I heard was the letter C and R in a garbled mess. I started to say "Captain," but Wolf's snore cut me off. They only heard the "Ca" part of it. Then he and I got closer and started kissing and…" she trailed off.

Because they were still staring into each other's eyes, she could physically see him discover what had happened. "He thought you were saying his name. He thought you were Cinder."

"Yes."

"And you… you thought he was me."

She nodded, eyes pleading. "Yes. I should've told you when we figured out what happened, but Kai was planning a surprise for Cinder and thought this would ruin it, so we kept it a secret. I am so sorry, Captain. I love you and you alone."

The world stood still.

She loved him. He didn't deserve her in the least, but _she_ loved _him._

Thorne wanted to fall down and sob, run around screaming excitedly, punch Kai one more time for good measure, and passionately make out with his girlfriend all at once. Instead, he took her hands in his, and asked her a question.

"How long was it?"

Cress blinked, taken aback. "What?"

"The kiss. How long was it?"

Her calm demeanor had completely dissipated at this point, and now she was slightly panicked. "I mean, we were kissing for about a minute, but I swear I had no idea-"

"Cress." The single word startled her out of her rant. She peered up at him. He was smiling at her as if she was the most precious, most important human being on the face of this earth, and the reality that he loved her slammed into her so suddenly that her single moment of doubt became a distant fairy tale. "I'm not mad. If anyone should be mad, it's you. I doubted you, and that was stupid and wrong."

"But I didn't deny kissing him. What else were you supposed to think?" she reassured, squeezing his hands. He didn't respond verbally, instead just pressing a kiss on the top of her head and pressing his forehead against hers.

"I'm not mad at Kai, either. But I don't like the fact that he kissed you. It's just…" He stood up, running his hands down his legs nervously. Cress furrowed her brow as she stared up at him. He began to pace. "I mean, this is stupid, but… I was your first kiss, right?"

Cress giggled at that. "Well, I would've thought that was pretty obvious. I froze completely and had no idea what to do with my mouth."

"You're too modest. Believe me, you weren't bad at all." A hint of a smile tugged on his lip before he delved back into serious mode. "Anyway, I was your first kiss and we've been together ever since. So I was the only one who's every kissed you. But now Kai has, and what previously didn't seem important is now infinitely important. It sounds selfish, but I just don't want to be your first, Cress. I want to be your last. I want to be your only."

Any hint of laughter was gone. Cress was wide-eyed, head swiveling as he paced. "Wait… what do you mean?"

"The thought of Kai kissing you just felt so… wrong. And when I started thinking about it more, the idea of any guy kissing you felt wrong. Unnatural. It makes me nauseous just thinking about it." He was talking to space, occasionally throwing her a glance as he spoke, while she continued watching him with wide-eyes. "And I used to be a womanizer, but the idea of being with any girl other than you also feels wrong. Like, why would I want to kiss anyone else on this planet when I've already found you?" He paused his movement, sitting next to Cress again. "Do you agree?

It took her a second to recover her wits. "Yes, of course. Honestly, I didn't care about any other guys after I met you. I was certain that you were the one." Her hand instinctively covered her mouth. She'd never told him that before. It sounded too obsessive, and he was so new to relationships that she was afraid the secret would freak him out. But instead of recoiling he nodded like he understood.

"Exactly. And I've been told by many that I'm not good enough for you, but I promise that I will work every day for the rest of our lives to be the man you deserve. Because I think we're perfect for each other."

"The rest of our lives?" She could barely muster a whisper at this point. She was trembling. He took her hands in his.

"The rest of our lives. We defied the odds, Cress. There are billions of people on this planet, and miraculously, we found each other. So why should we waste time wandering around, kissing other people? And I was thinking: how do I make sure this beautiful, wonderful girl agrees with my logic? How do I make sure she doesn't want to explore the other options and be with other guys that she may think are more right than me? And then it hit me. We'll make a promise to each other. If she feels the same way, she'll submit herself to a binding oath."

He stood, still holding her hands, and then knelt in front of her. It didn't feel real. Was this actually happening?

A small crowd formed around the pair, but they were oblivious to the rest of the world. "Crescent Darnel, I want to devote my life to you and only you. Now that I've found you, I don't ever want to let you go. I don't have a ring, I'm wearing SpongeBob SquarePants swim trunks, and Cinder's probably going to kill me any minute once the bruises show up on Kai's face, but I'm not going to wait for the perfect time to ask you this question because the time will never be here soon enough and I will have wasted too much of my life not being with you. So here goes nothing." He visibly swallowed, his hands shaking as he held hers. Tears had already stained her cheeks. "Cress… will you marry me?"

She opened her mouth to reply, but a sob broke out instead. Instead she nodded vigorously, pouring all of her emotion into the single movement. He surged forward and scooped her into her arms, sweeping her off her feet and kissing her long and hard, a kiss that made the one with Kai nothing but a distant dream. The small crowd of people clapped and cheered as the couple embraced, so wrapped up with each other that they didn't even register the noise.

They parted, panting for breath. Still beaming at her, Thorne slowly lowered Cress so her feet touched the grass, but he continued to cling to her waist. He didn't ever want to let her go. She was still crying, but smiling beneath her tears. He wiped the wetness off her face with his thumbs and kissed her cheeks, tasting salt on his lips.

One little boy, holding his mother's hand as she dabbed a tissue to her eyes, cocked his head. "Mommy, isn't that the man who beat up the other guy and was dragged out of the pool by the scary hot dog guy?"

The crowd began to filter away, patting the couple on the back and giving their congratulations. Once they were all gone Cress moaned and buried her face in Thorne's neck. He chuckled, the vibration tickling her face.

"What's wrong, damsel? Regretting your answer? Because it would just be rude to back out now."

"No. I'm just sad I'll never get to marry you."

He furrowed his brow. "What are you talking about?"

"Kai was going to propose to Cinder on this trip. You stole his thunder. Cinder is _literally_ going to kill you."

Thorne laughed loudly, slinging an arm around her. "Cress, you worry too much. Or should I call you Mrs. Thorne? That has a nice ring to it."

She smiled to herself. "Yeah, it really does."

Still drunk off of elation, Thorne hoisted her up so her legs wrapped around his waist and kissed her again. She giggled. "Tell ya what. All I want to do is announce to the entire world that we're engaged, but if you're so worried about my well-being, we can keep this information on the down low for now. I know you don't want my beautiful face smashed in before the wedding."

Cress pressed her forehead to this. "I love you, Captain. I still can't believe I'm going to be your wife." A grin threatened to split her face in two as she said that, and he kissed her nose. "But I agree with that plan. We'll tell the others after the trip."

He set her down on her feet. "After the trip," he agreed.

He took his fiancé's hand in his and began walking back towards the others.

His fiancé. He really liked the sound of that.

~ To Be Continued


	17. Christmas with the Crew

**A/N: MERRY CHRISTMAS LOVELIES!**

 **Consider this my Christmas (or whatever holiday you may celebrate) gift to all of you! I can't thank you enough for reading and reviewing this story. Honestly, ever comment fills me with so much joy. I love you all.**

 **Just a fair warning: I wrote this pretty rapidly. It was a last minute decision to make a Christmas chapter, and I really wanted to make it longer and more detailed. It's brief, but hopefully decent enough to entertain you all**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Lunar Chronicles**

~o0o~

"This is the last time I let Thorne decorate the place for Christmas," Cinder grumbled, ripping off the 18th sprig of mistletoe she had encountered.

Honestly, she had no time for this celebration. Only a handful of months had passed since the end of the revolution, and everyone was up to their necks in work. Scarlet, Wolf, Cress, and Thorne were still busy distributing the Letumosis antidote, and she and Kai had countries to run, for star's sake! Winter and Jacin had stayed by her side every step of the way, offering suggestions on how to best reform their country to a democracy, so they were swamped as well. But when Thorne spontaneously called her up last week, he made a compelling offer.

Scarlet would have no family to spend the holidays with since her grandmother passed. This would be Wolf's first time celebrating Christmas in a long time and Cress's first Christmas _ever_. Cinder and Iko had spent the 25th with Adri, Pearl, and Peony in the past, which wasn't too awful, but she didn't get anything more exciting than a pair of worn boots to better hide her robotic foot and Iko didn't get anything at all. Winter also didn't have many great memories of the holiday, having spent it with Levana, and Jacin just needed some good ole fashioned Christmas cheer. Therefore, Thorne decided, a relaxing Christmas break is just what they all needed.

"What about gifts?" Cinder pointed out. "This is too last minute for everyone to buy eight gifts to give out."

"Which is why we'll play white elephant! It'll be fun! Everyone only has to buy one present that way. Cress is so excited about this," he added with a pleading tone. "She's already started finding Christmas cookie recipes."

She chuckled over the phone. "Oh, so that's what this is about," she teased. "Trying to do something nice for your girlfriend, huh?" Cinder knew that Cress was probably a huge influence on his insistence that they get together for Christmas, but from the little he revealed about his own past, she knew this was just as important for him. His parents, while they loved him, weren't the best folks. Christmas was a rushed affair; they got him a huge pile of gifts, half of which didn't relate to any of his interests, and then left him to play with his things alone. For once, he just wanted to spend December 25th with the people he cared about.

"…Well, I am a sucker for Christmas cookies," Cinder admitted, a grin spreading across her face as he whooped and hollered on the other line.

"YOU WON'T REGRET THIS, I SWEAR!" He promised enthusiastically before promptly hanging up the phone.

They all got together on the group chat (which, again, was still very active) and planned the event. The Rampion would swing by the palace and pick up Kai, who would leave Torin temporarily in charge, and they would all arrive on Luna by Christmas Eve. Cinder offered up one of the cozier palace rooms for the event to take place, fit with a fire place and several comfy couches and arm chairs for them to snuggle up in. Scarlet agreed to assist Cress with some of the food preparation on the ship, and Thorne claimed the responsibility of decorating from the start. Everyone was informed about the white elephant idea, and they were all on board.

When they finally arrived, Cinder was swept into the most loving, tear-filled group hug she'd ever been in. Kai was the first to bolt out of the Rampion, followed shortly by Thorne with Cress in tow, and finally Scarlet and Wolf. Kai pulled her into a crushing embrace, cradling her head and allowing her to burrow her face in his neck, staining his collar with happy tears. Then Thorne rammed into them, and shortly afterwards Iko launched herself into the fray followed by an enthusiastic Winter and less enthusiastic Jacin. Everyone eventually piled on each other until they toppled over, sprawling onto the ground and laughing hysterically.

The image of their queen and her friends collapsed on the pavement was posted on every single high-end Lunar newspaper in the country. Some said it showed her charisma. Others said it showed her inadequacy as a leader. She honestly didn't care. Her friends were back, and she was elated.

After they had all peeled themselves off the ground and began speaking enthusiastically to one another, Cress presented Cinder with an elaborate Christmas sweater, her name sewn across the chest.

"It's to wear to the party," she explained, her smile so sweet and genuine it made Cinder's heart swell. "Everyone has one."

"That's so sweet, Cress! This had to take forever to make!" She eyed the garment appreciatively, running her fingers along the tiny reindeer and Christmas trees sewn along the sleeves.

"Oh stars, I didn't do this," she said, waving her hand dismissively. "It was Wolf's idea, actually. He knitted the sweaters. I just sewed on the names."

Cinder blinked. "What?" She turned to Wolf, who was rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.

"Scarlet suggested I take up knitting to regain control of my enlarged hands," he muttered. Scarlet, who overheard the conversation, took his hand in hers.

"Turns out he's pretty damn good at it." She kissed him on the cheek, a proud smile brightening her face.

Cinder shook her head in disbelief, laughing to herself and nudging him with her shoulder.

After a few hours of catching up they were shown to guest rooms across the palace and took a well-deserved rest.

The next morning Thorne had the party room off-limits for hours as he worked, opening the door only to take the baked goods from Scarlet and Cress and place them inside. Finally, after everyone had lined up outside the door and Jacin threatened to break it down three times unless he _let them in for star's sake_ , he opened up, revealing…

…a complete mess.

He wore a goofy grin, a lopsided Santa hat, and his brightly colored Christmas sweater as he dramatically swept his hands to the side, revealing his masterpiece. "Well? Waddaya think?"

The entire floor was covered in white feathers, meant to emulate snow. Several blow-up lawn decorations, including Santa, Frosty the Snowman, and a penguin, were strewn about the room. Somehow he had smuggled a real tree on his ship and covered it with a tangly mess of lights and poorly cut paper ornaments. He had thrown more lights on the fan, cords whipping dangerously around the room as it spun above their heads. There was a long buffet table displaying the cookies, cakes, and hot chocolate available to the partygoers.

And, of course, he hung a crap ton of mistletoe.

Cinder opened up her mouth to say a sarcastic comment, but she took one at Cress's awe-struck face, and closed it.

"It's beautiful," the small girl murmured, stepping into the winter wonderland. Winter, just as amazed, agreed with a nod of her head.

"So this is what Christmas is like on Earth?" Her eyes sparkled. "How festive!"

"It certainly is… interesting," Jacin mumbled, poking the inflatable Santa. Thorne puffed up with pride.

"Well, decorating is one of my many specialties. Plus it was super cheap. All I had to do was hit up some suburban neighborhoods for the tree and the lawn decorations and I was pretty much set."

"He's kidding," Cress quickly said when Cinder's wrench magically materialized in her hand.

They spent the next hour eating and chatting. Iko proudly presented her new crimson dress (while wearing her Christmas sweater overtop), spinning in circles and letting the skirt flow. "Isn't it to die for? Cinder's tailor made it for her when she heard she was hosting a Christmas party, but Cinder insisted on wearing pants. Bo-ring."

And despite the fact that Cinder had taken down most of the mistletoe, there was still plenty of kissing. Kai and Cinder in particular were very affectionate after months without seeing each other, and when they had suddenly disappeared from the conversation, Scarlet stumbled upon them making out behind Frosty the Snowman.

"Geez, save some Christmas cheer for the rest of us," she teased, laughing loudly when their cheeks began to color.

"Alright, everyone! It's time for White Elephant!" Thorne announced, rubbing his hands eagerly. "For anyone who's forgotten the rules, we put all of the presents underneath the tree. We'll all be assigned numbers, and one by one we'll open gifts. At your turn, you can either choose to open a new gift or steal someone else's gift. Sound good?"

Everyone murmured their agreement, and Thorne passed around a Santa hat with numbers in it. Iko squealed giddily after drawing hers.

"I'm first!" She proclaimed, springing from her spot on the couch and eying the gifts. She took a slow stroll around the tree, picking up a few packages and shaking them gently. "Hmm. They all look promising… I'll take this one!" She snatched the largest box under the tree, rapidly tearing off the paper and throwing off the lid.

After thirty minutes of gift opening, gift stealing, and a little bit of heated debate, everyone ended up with gifts they were more or less satisfied with. Scarlet couldn't stop staring at the gorgeous image of space Winter had painted, complimenting her every three seconds as she admired the glittering stars and swirling planets. Winter in turn gushed over her hand woven mittens, offering Wolf a peck on the cheek after pulling them on. Wolf ended up with Jacin's gift, which was a dusty copy of an ancient book called _Pride and Prejudice._ In all honesty Jacin had totally forgotten about the gift exchange and grabbed the first thing he could find on his shelf, but Wolf was excited to have a new novel to peruse. Jacin was probably the least satisfied with his gift. He ended up with Thorne's autographed picture of himself. "Trust me, it will be worth _millions_ one day," he said, patting him firmly on the back. "I just made you rich. You're welcome."

While everyone continued to ogle and discuss their gifts, Cress quietly pulled Thorne to the side.

"I know we decided to only get gifts for white elephant and not for each other this year…" she started. He moaned in response, but he smiled, taking her hands in his. Aces, what was he going to do with this amazing, thoughtful girl?

"Cress, you didn't!"

"Before you say anything," She interrupted, a grin spreading across her face, "I think it's a gift that we can _both_ enjoy."

He cocked an eyebrow at her. "You sure? Because otherwise you're just an extremely thoughtful girlfriend and I'm the jerk you somehow ended up falling for. People will think I mastered hypnotism and forced you to date me."

She giggled, tugging on his hands and walking backwards until they ended up in the hallway. "Wait here for a second. I left it in my room." She disappeared around the corner, leaving Thorne to contemplate what she had gotten. Monopoly? A cheesy bumper sticker for the Rampion? Couples skydiving lessons? The possibilities were endless.

When she reappeared, holding the gift in her hands, Thorne felt his heart stop.

This totally topped skydiving lessons.

She listened. She listened when he told about his life before crime, his life back home with his parents. She listened when he mentioned offhand that he had a robotic cat that he loved, but wasn't allowed a real one for stupid reasons his parents fabricated to prevent themselves from taking on more responsibilities.

And there she was, holding a tiny gray fur ball with a red bow tied around its neck squirming in her arms. "I picked this little guy up at the pet store and hid him in my quarters in the Rampion for the past four days," she explained, cheeks flushed with elation. He couldn't take his eyes off of the adorable little kitten, which had just yawned the most adorable yawn he had ever seen in his life (even more adorable than Cress's, and that's saying something). Noting his gaze, she handed the animal to him.

"Is it a boy or a girl?" he asked, scratching the spot between its ears. It purred in contentment, the vibration warming his chest in a way no electronic cat could.

"It's a girl," Cress whispered, smiling at the tiny creature. "What do you want to name her?"

Thorne contemplated this for a moment. "Hm. What about… Rapunzel?"

Cress quirked a brow. "Where did that come from?"

"No idea. Rapunzel is similar to rampion, though. Maybe it would make her feel more at home in the Rampion."

Cress smiled. "Rapunzel. I like it."

They locked eyes. Thorne glanced up at the ceiling.

"Well, waddaya know? There just happens to be mistletoe right above us."

"Really? Cinder didn't take it all down?"

"She must've missed this bit."

Cress grinned and leaned in, capturing his lips in hers. Thorne held the kitten with arm and pulled her closer to him with the other, threading his hand in her hair.

He didn't know what he did to deserve all this. He had friends, a steady job, and an amazing girlfriend who truly cared about him.

"I love you," he whispered against her lips. She giggled.

"Well I should hope so, after doing all that," she joked, quoting what he said to her in the hospital room months ago. He released a loud laugh and pulled her in for another kiss.

It was the first good Christmas he'd ever had.

The first of many.


	18. Texting Part 3

**A/N: *smashes through wall* I'M BAAAAAAAAAAACK!**

 **Life is crazy. I'm busy a lot. Yadda yadda yadda, you all know the excuses.**

 **The texting chapters seem to be the favorites, so here's one that continues from the last one I posted! I am halfway through the next Road Trip AU chapter, so hopefully I'll be able to post that one before I leave for my 5 week camp!**

 **WE HIT 200 REVIEWS! OH MY STARS! Thank you guys so much for continuing to support this fic even after all of this time! 3 3 3**

 **ALSO if any of y'all have read Marissa Meyer's more recent book** _ **Heartless**_ **and want to DM me about it do not hesitate to do so! That book is INSANE.**

 **Love you all to pieces! :D**

 **I do not own the Lunar Chronicles!**

Iko: Guys?

Iko: Helloooooo?

Iko: I swear to the moon if all of you got married without ONE of you asking me to be your maid of honor I'm going to loSE IT

Iko: ok but seriously though are you guys ok?

Jacin: Winter and I are on the Rampion but I think we're the only ones

Winter: Hello my blue-haired friend! :D

Iko: Where's everyone else?

Jacin: Not my responsibility

Iko: JACIN

Jacin: Ok ok I'll go out to look in a second.

Kai: Hey guys

Iko: OH MY STARS IT'S KAI

Winter: Hello Kai!

Kai: I have no idea where I am

Kai: Or what happened last night

Kai: Lunar liquor is really strong

Winter: Really? That root beer I drank didn't make me feel any different

Jacin: Describe your surroundings and I'll see if I can find you

Kai: Wait where's Cinder? Did she make it back to the Rampion okay?

Iko: She's not with you?

Kai: Why would she be with me?

Winter: You and my cousin had a dramatic love declaration and decided to go get married

Kai: WAIT WHAT

Kai: AM I MARRIED RIGHT NOW

Kai: IS CINDER OKAY

Kai: AHHHHH

Jacin: Calm down, your highness. Cinder is capable of taking care of herself. Just tell me where you are and I'll get you.

Kai: HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CALM DOWN

Iko: JUST TELL US WHERE YOU ARE

Kai: Ugh okay fine

Kai: I fell asleep in a bookstore.

Iko: …

Winter: …

Jacin: …

Thorne: NEEEERDDDDD!

Iko: Thorne! Where are you?

Thorne: I'm on the rampion

Winter: I thought I checked all of the rooms…

Thorne: Correction

Thorne: I'm on TOP of the Rampion

Iko: *facepalm*

Jacin: Kai give me the name of the bookstore

Thorne: Awww Jacin aren't you happy to hear I'm okay? ;)

Jacin: Shut up

Kai: It's called Thrift Books

Thorne: Let me guess

Thorne: You fell asleep in the political section

Kai :…

Kai: yes

Thorne: BWAHAHAHAHA

Iko: Wait Thorne are you and Cress married?

Thorne: What? No

Thorne: Wait

Thorne: Are we?

Thorne: Okay I just asked her we're not

Winter: Awww, another spontaneous romantic action failed…

Kai: Cress is with you? Is she okay?

Cress: I'm okay

Iko: CRESS MY SMALL SWEET CINNAMON ROLL THANK THE STARS

Cress: Umm… thanks?

Jacin: How did you guys end up on the roof?

Cress: My memory is kind of blurry… I think we were going to get married, but then we got hungry and went back to the Rampion, but we couldn't open the door so we just stole a blanket from someone's clothesline and slept on the roof

Cress: Spades I feel really bad now

Cress: I don't know whose blanket we stole

Cress: It's really fuzzy though and I kinda want to keep it

Cinder: What happened last night? My head is killing me…

Kai: CINDER THANK THE STARS! ARE YOU OKAY?

Jacin: Where are you? I've almost got Kai and then we can go get you

Cinder: Not sure… I'm on the floor of some sort of building

Cinder: Oh my stars I'm in a quickie wedding place

Cinder: AND THE LADY SAYS I GOT MARRIED LAST NIGHT

Kai: WHAT

Winter: Awww so romantic :3

Thorne: TO WHO

Kai: *WHOM

Iko: THIS IS NO TIME FOR GRAMMAR KAI

Cinder: I DON'T KNOW

Iko: WHO CARES ABOUT THE GROOM WHO WAS THE MAID OF HONOR

Cinder: Wait the lady says there are pictures from the wedding

Cinder: OH MY FREAKING STARS I HAVE DONE A TERRIBLE THING

Kai: WHAT HAPPENED

Cinder: I MARRIED A HAMBURGER

Cress: …

Jacin: …

Kai: …

Thorne: …

Winter: Congratulations! I hope you have a happy life together!

Thorne: Wait a minute

Thorne: Does this mean that a hamburger

Thorne: a _hamburger_

Thorne: Is the king of Luna?

Winter: According to Lunar law, yes

Jacin: WHAT HAS THIS WORLD COME TO

Cinder: wAIT ANOTHER MINUTE

Cinder: I ATE THE HAMBURGER LAST NIGHT

Thorne: WHAT

Winter: YOU ATE THE KING OF LUNA?!

Iko: REGICIDE! REGICIDE!

Kai: AHHH MY GIRLFRIEND'S A WIDOW TO A HAMBURGER

Cinder: Oh thank the stars, the lady said she had the proper papers to annul the marriage

Cinder: I just want to forget that last night happened

Thorne: I am NEVER letting this go

Thorne: In the span of a few hours you got married, ate your spouse, and then rudely decided to forget your love for it and annul the marriage

Thorne: This hamburger may be gone, but it will never be forgotten

Winter: RIP the king of Luna, Beef McPatty III

Jacin: I am never drinking with you guys ever again

Cinder: I hate you Thorne

Cinder: There is no way you didn't do anything completely humiliating last night

Iko: Well, Cress and Thorne ended up sleeping on the roof of the Rampion last night with a stolen blanket

Winter: Yes, they just entered the Rampion. I was a bit shocked to see Thorne in the nude, however

Jacin: wHAT

Cinder: THORNE

Iko: WHAT THE SPADES DID YOU DO TO THE PERFECT PRECIOUS CINAMMON ROLE THAT IS CRESS

Kai: THIS IS NOT OKAY

Thorne: Wait a sec there guys its not what you think

Cinder: YOU WOKE UP ON TOP OF THE RAMPION UNDER THE COVERS WITH CRESS AND YOU WERE NAKED

Cinder: WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO THINK

Thorne: I have underwear on!

Winter: Yes, they have a lovely floral pattern

Jacin: PUT SOME CLOTHES ON

Iko: WAIT IS CRESS NAKED TOO?! AHHHHHHHHHHH

Cress: THORNE DIDN'T TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME

Cress: He took off his shirt, pants, socks, and shows and put them ON me

Cress: He also stole more clothing from the clothes line and put them on me as well

Cress: I have like 5 layers of clothing on

Cinder: … what

Kai: I'm relieved, but why…?

Thorne: I didn't want her to be cold

Jacin: …

Cinder: …

Kai: …

Iko: AWWWWWWWW

Winter: That is even more adorable than your excessively feminine underwear

Thorne: See? I promise I'm not some sleazy guy anymore!

Kai: Okay, so I wandered to a book store, Cinder married a hamburger, Cress and Thorne ended up on the roof… what happened to Wolf and Scarlet?

Iko: I had a lovely date with Kinney, by the way. In case anyone was wondering.

Cinder: Wait, where are you, Iko?

Iko: Well after a LOVELY evening I told him I had to go and hit some local dress shops

Iko: Keep in mind I thought I was about to be the maid of honor for four weddings. I needed to stock up on clothes.

Iko: WAIT DID SCARLET AND WOLF GET MARRIED CUZ THAT IS NOT OKAY WITH ME I PICKED THE PERFECT DRESS FOR THEIR WEDDING

Scarlet: Hey guys

Cinder: Scarlet! Thank the stars!

Cress: Are you okay?

Winter: Hello, Scarlet friend! I hope you and your large boyfriend are well!

Scarlet: Yeah about that…

Scarlet: Are any of you able to spare a couple thousand univs?

Kai: Ummm… what?

Iko: THAT BETTER NOT BE TO PAY FOR A WEDDING I WASN'T INVITED TO

Cinder: What happened?

Thorne: lol let me guess

Thorne: You guys went to an auction and accidentally bought an ancient pair of socks worn by the first Lunar king

Scarlet: no

Thorne: You guys murdered a crotchety old woman for angrily spritzing you with prune-scented perfume and you need to pay off the witness

Scarlet: NO

Wolf: We only have 10 minutes before our phones are taken away, so let's not waste time!

Cinder: Good Wolf is okay too!

Iko: Wait a minute

Iko: Why is your typing so good all of a sudden?

Scarlet: Z discovered voice control typing

Thorne: Thank the STARS

Jacin: Agreed. I was tired of trying to unscramble his gibberish

Wolf: You guys suck

Cress: I feel like we're getting off topic here…

Scarlet: We need the money to pay bail

Kai: …what did you guys do?

Thorne: ACES I WAS JUST KIDDING ABOUT THE MURDER

Scarlet: WE DIDN'T MURDER ANYBODY

Wolf: Except the tomatoes

Cinder: WHAT

Winter: May the tomato victims of Scarlet and Wolf's wrath rest in peace alongside the beautiful hamburger king

Scarlet: …okay, crazy

Wolf: We were on our way to get married when I got a craving for tomatoes

Wolf: We went into a grocery store and I just started shoving them down my pants as quickly as possible

Scarlet: And I beat up all of the employees who got in the way

Scarlet: But one of them called the police…

Thorne: You guys are practically Bonnie and Clyde

Scarlet: I know I can't hear you but I can feel the sarcasm in your text

Winter: How did the tomatoes meet their demise?

Wolf: That's the worst part

Wolf: So we were being arrested for theft and I thought that I at least had my tomatoes

Wolf: I reached into my pocket for one

Wolf: And they were COMPLETLEY DESTROYED

Wolf: THEY WERE NOTHING BUT KETCHUP

Winter: THE HORROR

Jacin: Alright, so now we have to swing by the local jail to pay bail for a couple of tomato junkies

Jacin: Great

Iko: So what did you and Winter do last night? ;)

Winter: Oh nothing much

Winter: We just got married

Cinder: WHAT

Cress: WHAT

Thorne: WHAT

Kai: WHAT

Scarlet: WHAT

Wolf: WHAT

Iko: HOW DARE YOU

Jacin: WAIT NO WE DIDN'T

Winter: Oops, I meant we got *Margaret's

Winter: Silly autocorrect

Winter: It was a lovely restaurant where we got food to-go, and then we just talked for a while

Winter: It was fun

Iko: Okay good

Iko: None of you can get married without inviting me, no matter how small the ceremony

Scarlet: Yes ma'am

Thorne: No one wants to suffer the wrath of an angry Iko

Iko: damn straight

Wolf: You guys are coming to get us, right?

Jacin: omw

Thorne: So what do you guys want to do tonight?

Thorne: Margaritas?

Cress: CAPTAIN NO

Iko: ARE YOU KIDDING ME

Cinder: THORNE

Winter: I'm down

Kai: YOU ARE INSANE

Scarlet: NOOOOO

Wolf: HAVEN'T ENOUGH LIVES BEEN SACRIFICED

Jacin: DEAR STARS NEVER AGAIN


End file.
